SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: DDay 4 years later, still a trigger.
ambivalence26
New Member
Member # 38037
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, August 19th (Monday)

So dday comes 4 years after getting caught. Dday is also my mom's b-day. Mom is deceased. Always a sad day for me! He doesn't say anything to me all day. Just sort of ignores me. I'm sure he realizes what day it is. We have been married 33 years he cheated on me for 5. We have had years of therapy and yet he says nothing. I'm bothered by this. Am I overreacting?

Posts: 21 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: midwest
libertyrocks
Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Not at all! He should be throwing rose petals at your feet for staying with him.

Wow, 4 years you've hung in there. It's admirable. :)

I guess you have to look at the totality of the M...33 years. That's awesome. :)


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,alcoholic, suspected NPD SA. 2 boys. M 6yrs T13.
DDay #1 Nov, 2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (all W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan, 2014
Filed for D Feb, 2014.He will cheat again. But, It wont be on me.

Posts: 911 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
LosferWords
Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, August 19th (Monday)

I don't think you are overreacting. A missed anniversary is a pretty big deal, IMO.

I also 2nd what libertyrocks said... 33 years is awesome! Congratulations.


Posts: 6244 | Registered: Dec 2010
Alex CR
Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 5:12 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

We'll be married 33 next January...together almost 40 and my H forgets....dates have never meant much to him. Just mentioned yesterday that my Mom's 84th is coming up in a few weeks and we should do something and he had no idea what date it is.....after almost forty years celebrating it.

As to Dday my H doesn't remember that either, although we do something special around that time because I plan it and I bring Dday up. He always responds with apologies and agreement we are doing well considering what he did and we talk.

I bring these kind of concerns up to H since DDay....I hate stewing the thoughts about why he didn't say something or trying to read his mind to figure out what he's thinking. It works better to ask him and then see how he answers it.... how he responds is more important than if he remembers the date, but that's what works for me.

I think if this bothers you, it bothers you and you're not overreacting.... maybe you just need to bring it up and talk with him about it.


[This message edited by Alex CR at 5:13 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)]


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1636 | Registered: Mar 2010
Topic Posts: 4