User Topic: Final divorce paperwork came today
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, August 19th (Monday)

The final paperwork came today and all I could think was "great, finally I can get him off my insurance". No feelings other than that. I am waiting for that sad moment and it has not happened yet. I have a feeling I might be celebrating tonight.

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:18 PM, August 19th (Monday)

So it's all signed & official? You're divorced?

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Congratulations, fraeuken. And welcome to the other side. It's much sunnier over here.

You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25765 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 5:22 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Yes. Deal has been sealed. I am free as a bird.

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Congrats! Enjoy the freedom and have a toast for all of us who are still trying to get to that point!

BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet

Posts: 1197 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Well then YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Congrats! This is a big milestone and one I found brought feelings of relief.

Do something really nice for yourself tonight.

Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1462 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Congrats fraeuken!

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

Posts: 5526 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Yee haw! Congratulations.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17548 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, August 19th (Monday)


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, August 19th (Monday)


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2713 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

fraeuken WOOT!

I can't wait to join you, just one week and 30 days to

Go and celebrate your new life

BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

As soon as I got mine, I went right to the social security office and the DMV and changed my name.

Then I came home, and it hit me, and I felt like I had been run over by a truck.

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3415 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Member # 39381
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)


2DS, 2DD
BS-Me 32
WH-Him 43
DDay-All 14 years of our relationship. 3PA's, 3 one night stands, and 6 EA's and still counting as we go. Gained enough strength to face it 11/2012

Getting Divorced

Posts: 101 | Registered: May 2013 | From: United States
Member # 28555
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)


I should be a free bird in about 2 weeks. And a new homeowner to boot!

Cheers to you!

"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".

Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Texas
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Congratulations!! I am so jealous!! Continue moving forward and thriving!!

Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Still no emotional reaction other than wanting to get all the next steps completed, such as opening my own insurance account, removing him from health insurance etc.

I think he has pissed me off to no end at this point that I can't be sad over this, just relieved:

- Asked me via text if I was broke (no, my dear) because I took 200$ out of the joint account which had been transferred accidentally. Just wanted my hard earned money back to go see a nice show with my German friend in Las Vegas on Sunday night. And yes, we did see ‘Thunder from Down Under’ 
- Still owes our joint account over $1000 but keeps telling me that I owe him (I guess, he is the one who is broke). Bookkeeping is just not his strength which is scary after 20+ years in the banking industry. Even with giving him credit for paid car insurance and HOA fees for our rental properties, he still owes ME.
- When informed that he owes me and has not addressed the issue since June, I received the following text: ‘and btw, I pay 52$ per month for DD16’s cellphone’…. Well, never mind I just gave her a brand new laptop for her birthday, pay for all her sports activities, her MRI and xRays, physical therapy etc…. and never say a word to him about it.
- Guess who showed up at my house yesterday while I was a work? The puppy was back, spent 6 hours at my house because XH’s girlfriend was not available to watch him and knowing that I was not home he just thought it was a good idea to dump the dog with DD11 at my place. Never said a word to me. Let me say, the money I spent yesterday morning on my cleaning lady was rather wasted…
- Changed all agreements on short notice. He was supposed to have DDs today through Thursday as per agreement and I had planned my work schedule around that. Last night he tells me, only after I ask when he plans to pick up, that he is not taking them because it was inconvenient. He actually tried to blame it on DD16 who was upset he tried to do that. I raised hell, he will pick them up after all.

I could go on and on and on….Also, he is having DD16 take her driving lessons so that she can drive herself and DD11 40 miles from where he is moving to in order to get to school in the morning. She would have to cross the Golden Gate bridge in heavy traffic mornings and evenings. I am livid and have started talking to my attorney to see if XH can enforce this. I really don’t want DD16 to have responsibility for driving DD11 being a new driver. This is not your easy quick 2 mile morning commute…. See, no room for sadness really, just anger and astonishment at his lack of common sense.

[This message edited by fraeuken at 11:26 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)]

Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 17