SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Crying in public over simple frustrations!!!
PrincessPeach06
Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Today I had an eye exam and was trying to pick out glasses but they were all way over budget. Since I'm going to be wearing them all the time I want something I love!

Well I broke down in tears over my frustration. Thankfully H saved me when he realized how upset I was getting but I was so embarrassed. I hate being such an emotional wreck over silly things.

H actually came home and immediately put his golf clubs for sale to buy the Coach frames I loved. I sobbed more over that I think.

However, is this normal!?!? I have never been so up and down and I never know when it will hit so I hate going places. I have my yearly checkup tomorrow and thankfully H will be with me cause I'm a nervous wreck!


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 35
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-5
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 297 | Registered: Jun 2013
devasted30
Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Hi - don't know if this will help but know you are not alone. I found it really hard when I was grocery shopping. The shopping wasn't the hard part - I was busy selecting the groceries - it was when I was standing in line waiting to checkout.
I would start to think and I'd eventually break down in tears. I'd be so embarrassed, I'd leave without my groceries. I've come to realize that it is normal....we have been through a horrible trauma. Don't beat yourself up. Take you time and live each minute as it comes.

Posts: 486 | Registered: Jun 2013
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, August 19th (Monday)

I cannot tell you, how many times that I did grocery shopping with tears streaming down my face. No sobbing, just tears streaming straight down. I used to wear my sunglasses everywhere because of that. And standing at a counter while some poor person tried to help me, and me being too paralyzed to make any decision.

I honestly thought that I was loosing my mind!

It''s normal. A bit embarrassing, but normal. And usually, people were great about just ignoring me. Thank goodness!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4101 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Oh my... Yes, I cry so easily under normal circumstances (I hate this about myself) and NOW, well, let's just say the wrong Muzak being piped in can make me cry, or seeing a pretty woman that could be an OW, or really any fucking thing at all can be enough to set me off. And people just look so embarrassed and uncomfortable. I feel like I need to say "sorry for crying, my husband ripped my heart out".


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

The sea is so wide, and my boat is so small.


Posts: 540 | Registered: May 2013 | From: A state of overwhelmed
carnelian
Member
Member # 24824
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, August 19th (Monday)

Oh, yes. Standing in line with something he liked, planning in my head what I was going to cook for him - then BAM, the reality of the moment hit and there went the tears again.

Or just talking with someone and a wave of chest-tightening sadness crashed and boy it must've been allergy season because my eyes were watering all of a sudden.

So nice to read about the golf clubs. Here's to more happy tears for all of us.

[This message edited by carnelian at 8:55 PM, August 19th (Monday)]


What are you going to do when he leaves you?

Posts: 543 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Europe
Knowing
Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, August 19th (Monday)

I had to pick out glasses last fall shortly after DDay. It took so long. I was a mess. I couldn''t find a pair I liked because I didn''t feel like I knew what I liked anymore. I can so relate.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 697 | Registered: Oct 2012
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, August 19th (Monday)

This is so normal!! Honey, grieving and being in pain is dare I say, an honorable thing! A human thing?!

A few days after dday my husband fell apart. In the Omaha airport. Tears just streamed down his face. He didn't care, and he's a guy, crying in public. That's how much I hurt him.

Please be gentle with yourself...


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 47
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace."


Posts: 3634 | Registered: Dec 2010
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, August 19th (Monday)

My wh actually called me from an airport terminal a few days after d day, sobbing as he came clean about a couple things. I imagined what people must have thought - this handsome well dressed business traveler, sobbing in a gate as he talked on his cell. I knew how much he loved me to do that. It was horrible and touching at the same time.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

The sea is so wide, and my boat is so small.


Posts: 540 | Registered: May 2013 | From: A state of overwhelmed
Scubachick
Member
Member # 39906
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, August 19th (Monday)

I started crying in the shoe store at the mall. When my husband noticed, he started to tear up and we had to leave before we both lost control.

Posts: 479 | Registered: Jul 2013
jjsr
Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, August 19th (Monday)

I burst into tears in a restaurant one time about a year into it because I saw a young man hug his grandfather. I just let loose like a fountain. Embarrassing but I now know its normal. You are so beaten down you don't know which way is up.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1529 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Texas
RippedSoul
Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 2:10 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Oh, yes! I've never been a real "crier" and still am not, but I have been so teary. It can be something related to the A or something completely separate. All through church yesterday, I had a handkerchief in my hand. My eyes just kept watering. The obvious-to-everyone-else reason is that it's the last Sunday my DD will be at church with me before she leaves for college. But the real reason is the A brought all my emotions to the surface and I'm just weepy. Ugh. Hate the loss of control. But it's normal for me and it's normal for you!


BW: 49
SAWH: 46
M: 22.5 yrs
TT: Nov 12-Jan 13
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14

Posts: 307 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
OnAnIsland
Member
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 2:12 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Yes! Or really over no apparent frustration. Just the reality of his betrayal of me and our marriage.


D-day: Christmas 2011 when i saw a text from MarriedOW to WH
D-day 2: 3/28/2013: confessed phone sex over 10 years ago (2000 or 2001) with another OW

Married for over 14 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school


Posts: 1419 | Registered: Dec 2011
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 2:51 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

I don't go into public without sun glasses......they hide a multitude of sin, including tears, puffy eyes, red botches......you name it they hide it.

I have gotten to the point that I don't care if I cry. Most people are very understanding and they realize your are terribly hurt. I got so many hugs when I first started to e venture out of the house alone. I must have looked pretty bad!

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
ShedSomeLight
Member
Member # 40212
Default  Posted: 6:55 AM, August 20th (Tuesday)

OMG, "hugs" to all. I am three weeks out. I had a huge trigger last night and cried all the way home from work in my car. I did not want to go home. Thank God I can work from home a lot. I went to an office yesterday because I thought it would help me be more focused and it did, but when driving home, I have a huge trigger thinking about how much he has hurt me. He is doing everything right...we are in counseling, he is VERY remorseful...tells me we will get thru all of it, but I think I am stuck and not sure what I want to do yet. Last night, I slept on the couch with our dog. The dog gives me great comfort and I know my dog knows that I am hurting greatly. Don't ever feel bad for getting our your emotions. You need to do that...we all do. I just thought to myself last night that I wish I could just slice myself open and have all the pain come out at once.

Posts: 74 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 14