It's 12:XXam here right now, and I have a house full of insomniacs. DS is having issues with being at day care, and I'm wondering if it's some kind of separation anxiety -- perhaps more. Heart's wounds are all reopening in the wake of shifting from a role in the workforce to that of a high-demand student.
I'm scared. Particularly with DS's problems, I'm forced to face a world that I don't have any answers to, let alone "all" the answers. I don't seem to be able to help him where he's at, nor do I understand the problems here well enough to even start.
Heart, while I feel more confident about ways to help her, occasionally spontaneously "reboots." I liken it to the old Nintendo system where games would suddenly pixelate, play a random squelching noise, and you'd be forced to restart.
I guess I'm just venting. If any of you happen to have suggestions, I would love to have them. I told Heart that if I am to be "captain" of this "ship," then I feel it is my duty to be responsible for the well-being of everyone in the house.
I'm scared. More than anything, I'm scared, and the fact that I've shown I can't be trusted -- and that I tend to recoil from reality when things get tough -- seems to be making things worse.
Or maybe it's all in my head. I'm certainly frightened enough of what's been going on to be making mountains out of molehills while declaring the sky is falling...