User Topic: And my world has officially blown up...
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Since the actual affair confession, I had gone back to school, have done very well, made the Dean's list and going for nursing, which is not an easy career path to take. It's been a year and it's what has kept me sane. Considering I had been filled with lies of trying and going to MC to "fix" us and never fulfilling his side of deal.

Today was the first day of class and I was told that I was not approved for my student loan due to his lack of paying the bills for the last 6 months.

I am currently unemployed, I do odd and end cleaning jobs to pay a few bills and to have some cash in my pocket, and the promise from the jackass to support me all during the years to finish school, so no divorce until I am done, need insurance to even get into the field and he has very good insurance, except for the lack of accepting counseling.

I had made an appointment with my IC and I cannot afford the copay.

I really feel like my world has officially shattered. The only thing I had looking bright for my future was my schooling. And the jackass, has yet fucked me again out of what was supposed to be my own future, since he shattered our future when he left.

No strength here atm...and so tired of crying.

BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

I'm so sorry ABS. I wish there was something I could do to help.

Sending you big hugs ((((ABS))))

Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13807 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

Can you speak to the Dean or someone to get a waiver of some sort? Do not give up yet.

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

And make sure you apply for scholarships and grants. It's like free money.

Sorry things seem so dark.

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
Member # 38010
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

I went through nursing school on a pell grant, thru the financial aid dept. I got a job after the first semester as a nurse extern in the trauma icu, and it paid well while I learned more of *real* nursing. Keep in mind that the service you are looking to provide your community is a great one, and asking for help to make that happen is okay. I graduated with honors, if I can do it, you can too. (((AlwaysBeenStrong)))

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Posts: 505 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

My heart breaks for you. What an asshat. Does financial aid have any other options for you? If I was rich, I'd pay for it and I'm not kidding. I'm so angry for you.

BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 918 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, August 20th (Tuesday)

That is just cruel. I have to agree with the others- DO NOT GIVE UP!!

Do not let him take this from you too. You CAN do this, you just have to find the way. Go talk to the dean or counselor to find out what your options are!

divorced the Dooosh
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.

Posts: 3612 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 12:02 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)


I know this is no words of comfort now, but there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. You will get to continue your Nursing degree, some how, some way, you WILL. See if you can get some counseling with someone who will at least do a sliding scale or for free.

Ditto to what others have said not give up.

((((hugs again))))

Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?

Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:32 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9823 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Thank you everyone. I did go to the school, they only gave me if's. Buy all your books, and if it doesn't go through by this day, you will have to drop all your classes and of course, be out of all the money I put into the books and the 2 weeks of going.

I called him yesterday and told him he has to pay this semester's tuition, there's no and's, if's or but's about it. Only excuses of I don't know how I can come up with that much money.

Then the fucker gives me a boo hoo story of how much he loves me and it's so hard for him. YOU LEFT, not me!

The only thing I keep saying to myself is the line in Forrest Gump, where Jenny and Forrest are in the fields. "Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly far far away"

BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 6:42 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Do you have a relative that would cosign for the loan? Could you go part time? I'm so sorry but don't give up even if it doesn't happen for this semester how you planned for it.

You won't lose your admittance to the program though right? Regular college you could keep it for up to a year. Is the nursing program different?

I was denied the parent plus loan for my kids due to bad credit b/c of late payments (xwh wouldn't pay child support for a long time and bailed on helping with college) but my kids were allowed an increase on their federal loans then. Maybe this applies to you?

[This message edited by rainagain at 6:46 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)]

Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Can you get your cna or pca certification and work in the care field and then get the loans to finish? That really sucks that's he's done this you, don't let it keep you from finishing

BS: Me
WH: Husband
One daughter - 22 months
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 251 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

You don't indicate where you are in the D process; whether D has been filed and how long ago? Or are you separated, not divorced? If you have not gone to court with the D, be sure to bring this up when you do: "I have spent one year in school, I'm earning excellent grades (have the grades with you), jerk said he would pay for my schooling (do you have this in writing in a text or some other form of communication? If you do, keep it for court) then I learn he didn't pay anything, thus destroying our credit and I will not be approved for a student loan. Thus, I cannot support myself in a professional manner; instead, I'm cleaning houses when I can." Do NOT give up on RN school. You are among the best of the best or you wouldn't have been accepted. RN schools are able to be very selective in whom they admit. Talk with every admissions counselor you can find; tell them the truth, ask for help. Do NOT give up. Do this for YOU. Him? Train yourself to just not care. He's not worth your effort. Sending hugs........

BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 504 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Look into grants, and what you may be entitled to. So many programs we have no idea exist.
Also for IC are there county programs, or church facilities that may offer some resources.

Hang in there. Tomorrow is another day, full of promise.

BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 618 | Registered: Jul 2012
Topic Posts: 14