Just Found Out
User Topic: Here we go again
Member # 25116
Default  Posted: 6:14 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)

I never thought I would be posting I JFO again...
WH and I have been in R since 2008. We had 18 mos of IC and MC. We talked more, created a new family with OC, were involved in church, had dreams and plans for the future.
WH took a 2nd job 2 yrs ago to help pay down credit cards and get a nest egg to get a new house or land to move onto. He worked 85-90 hours a week then cut back to about 60. He was 2 weeks away from quitting 2nd job, had given notice when D-Day #2 WS told me about sexting and meeting up with M F friend he used to work with and kept up with on Facebook. One time of getting naked and touching but no intercourse. WS stopped and left. WH is currently staying with his parents and I am considering D. WH does see COM and OC at my home. WH is setting up IC may have SA? I am putting off major decisions until 1st of the year. I am getting into financial shape and weighing my option. WH is a good father but our M has been shifting under our feet. I am hurt but not devastated and maybe not very surprised. Since D Day #1 maybe I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I am not setting the rules this time, not making lists. I told WH he needs to figure out what is wrong and fix it before he ruins all his relationships. He may have ruined this one beyond repair.
COM has autism and changes are hard for her. Trying to keep things normal for C as possible.

So tired of A rollercoaster.

Married since 5/99
D-Day 6/27/09
In R OC born 12/15
D-Day #2 8/19/13

I want to be the kind of woman I want my daughter to be-Jewel

Posts: 205 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: Heartland
New Member
Member # 40324
Default  Posted: 6:26 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)

A tiger never changes its stripes. You need to determine if you want to always worry about his next move. They usually go back to their old ways in one way or another.

Good luck to you! Regardless of your decision, I pray that your child is not greatly impacted. It's so hard for kids.

Me: BS 45
Him: POS 51
D-day #1 Aug 5, 2013 (2 years) clueless the 1st yr, suspicious the 2nd
D-day #2 Aug 19, 2013 (there were many more)
D-day #3 10 years worth of A/ONS
Married 21 years (not sure if we'll make 22)
2 kids, 16 and 13

Posts: 40 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Michigan
New Member
Member # 40252
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Ugh. I'm so sorry you are here again. I have no words of wisdom or comfort. But I am so rigid of this happening to me. Being reconciled and it happening again. .. ugh

Me: BS - 26
Him: WS - 26
3 kids: 6, 3, and 1
D-Day - 07/12/13
R-Day - 07/22/13

One day, one emotion at a time... Together.

Posts: 20 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: NC
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)

(((hugs))) I''m so sorry that you''re back here again. It sounds like (through your pain) you''ve come up with some good decisions to figure out what you need and want to do.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 4915 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 38719
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)

I am so sorry.

Me- 40
Him- 47
March 9, 2013- the day my heart died

Posts: 247 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, August 21st (Wednesday)


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"

Posts: 9745 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
Member # 38511
Concerned  Posted: 12:14 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

So Sorry ((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
Member # 38975
Helpless  Posted: 12:51 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Oh Altered

I am so very sorry.

I understand completely the thinking about waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think we all feel that way at times.

I am proud of you for standing up for yourself and knowing that regardless of the outcome you CAN and WILL make it through.

You are an amazing woman with a heart of gold. You have been through so much.

Keep the faith in yourself and your child.

We are all here rooting for you and sending you hugs and prayers.

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1182 | Registered: Apr 2013
New Member
Member # 40280
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

I really relate to the at idea of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I tried (briefly) to communicate it to my husband by comparing it to the way he feels at work. He's been laid off three times (he's in the tech industry). I told him that he was like the boss constantly holding the "lay off" (divorce) over my head. He said there was no comparison and I gave up trying to communicate it....But I suspect you all get what I mean. Sigh.

Posts: 6 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: TX
Topic Posts: 9