SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Post nup
Sadwife222
Member
Member # 40050
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

I'm reading this being mentioned on here. We have a pre nup. What kinds of terms are going into post nups?


Me BW, Him WH
DD #1, caught 4/12/13
DD #2, tells me the whole truth, 5/21/13
DD #3, TT until 8/9/13 then full disclosure w/timeline
DD #4, 8/26/13, OW texts me more info, he tells me the whole truth
DD # 5, 9/11/13, he tells me the whole truth??

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jul 2013
AStar
Member
Member # 39971
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Terms relating to settlement should one of the partners cause the marriage to end for various reasons. Example: should it end because of proven affair, the BS can get xyz.


Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

You may find this thread helpful.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=503958


Posts: 34726 | Registered: Mar 2011
HurtButHopeful?
Member
Member # 25144
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

We didn't have a pre nup. Thought I didn't need one.

Post nup covers things that a mean WS would fight about in an ugly D. Our state doesn't care about A's, so they would split all assets and debts 50/50.

My post nup will make sure finances aren't split 50/50, but go more in my favor, since I gave up my career to homeschool our children on the promise of fidelity and an intact M until the day one of us died.

It protects my (small) inheritance, and the house we bought using part of it (after A.) Our state would make us sell the house and split it 50/50. Post nup says the house is 100% mine, not his. I would have to sell it if we D, since I couldn't keep up the payments, but wouldn't have to split the equity with him.

It also lists jointly approved credit cards. (Credit cards are no longer jointly owned, however.) It says those credit cards listed, with balances up to $X,000, are split 50/50, anything above is the card's owner's responsibility. Any cards or debts not referenced in the post nup are solely the responsibility of the person whose name is on it. This is because people in an A mentality can rack up debt to support the A.

I don't have my post nup finalized, because we can't afford the legal fee right now. WH suggested I pay for it with part of my inheritance. I shouldn't have ever needed it, and I'm not going to use my inheritance to set it up.

Everyone's case is different. You can sometimes find a lawyer who will discuss it with you for free. In my case I had to pay $100 for the initial consultation. He wants $2,000-$3,000 to finalize it...

Hope this helps a bit.


Reconciliation means that we both are authentic and vulnerable. I still have my H, and he's a better man than ever!

Posts: 1716 | Registered: Aug 2009
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Make sure they are even legal in your state. There are far too many people in the D/S forum who found out that they weren't worth the paper they were written on, and they were just out the extra cost of having them drawn up.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 5