User Topic: Pets helping you cope...
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

A bit of a lighter post, as I am trying not to go in a tailspin tonight....
I've seen several posts in which people mention their pets being a source of comfort during this time, and have to add my own. During a difficult conversation with WH I was sitting on the bed, very distraught, and one of my kitties jumped up and came to me and simply pressed her face against my arm. It was one of the most compassionate things I've ever seen an animal do. I have also been letting them sleep with me, as it makes me feel better even if they keep me up half the night.
Give a shout out to your furry friend.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller

Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 38116
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Yes! My doggies are my loyal, trustworthy companions.
I love them unconditionally, hence they would never betray me.
They were my constant when my world was imploding...
They knew mommy needed them... And we're always by my side.

ME: 30
WH: 35

Fool me once - Shame on you. Fool me twice - pack your shit and get out.

Posts: 310 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Same here. Our cat was totally devoted to my WS, but when he left, she was so there for me. I couldn't believe it - it was like she knew. He's back now and she's right back with him but still shows me love that she never showed before. I honestly don't think they should be called "dumb" animals. If it wasn't for my cat, I don't know what I would have done. She really helped pull me thru this.

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

Posts: 1319 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
Member # 39201
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

My cat Toes has decided that I must be protected when my WS gets to close to me.

He is a big boy, 20+ lbs of pissed off kitty...

WS walks away. Yet when I am not around he will visit nicely with WS.

I have only had Toes for about a month,so to me it is strange yet comforting.

Me: BS 47
Him:WH 55
M: 27 yrs
DD 4/29/13
3 kids (25,23,22

Posts: 82 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 26741
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

I agree- my cat is a kinda nasty, standoffish, cat (oh wait, nasty standoffish and cat is redundant). On a bad day, he would just as soon claw you when you walk past as not. Right after DDay he hopped up on my lap on the couch and just sat and purred. For six weeks. When I finally moved past the suicidal ideations, he jumped off, then he never did it again! It was amazing. And he used to tolerate the ex well, until after DDay when ex came to get some of his things, and that cat bit the crap out of him. Drew blood and everything....the cat got tuna for dinner that night!

[This message edited by welcome14 at 6:51 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)]

Nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home- nikki sixx

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

Posts: 1218 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: clarksville, tn/ Ft Campbell
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Omgosh I don't know what I would do without my big Brutus dog knows when I'm sad. He has human eyes that are filled with compassion. I'm getting teary eyed talking about him.
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5130 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Member # 31891
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

My We took the dog when she moved in with the OM. I had a week of coming home to an empty home, and couldn't take it anymore. Went and adopted a rescue dog. She's great. Still a bit skiddish, but follows me everywhere.

Posts: 480 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Maryland
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

When we were going throughout the affairs and divorce, we argued a lot.

Any time we argued, my 100 pound collie would stand between us, as if protecting me from any harm. He pulled me through the divorce.

He's gone now, but I miss him so much.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 19505
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Animals, particularly cats are highly perceptive and mine were definitely a comfort during the storm. Unfortunately they all have passed in the past two years. My two ferals from our lives out west and Sylvester who showed up that summer when things went wayward, and gave me a positive outlet and diversion from all the misery. My wife got help and straightened her life out four years ago, and shortly afterwards Sylvester started to lose function in his hind legs until two years ago he could no longer walk with any consistency and then came the endless urinary infections that ultimately led to having to have him put to sleep. Sometimes I think he was sent to help me cope, but I hate to minimize his life to such a selfish purpose. He was a great cat as were the other two, but I have always felt cheated that he did not get to be part of the happy home we have rebuilt.

Posts: 305 | Registered: May 2008 | From: east coast
Member # 24824
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Both of my cats are clingy. The big one loves to be be held upside down in my arms like a baby - sleep, drool and everything. Whenever I'm sick or really feeling down, he has to be there to make sure everything's all right (or maybe he's checking that Food Giving Person isn't dead yet).

The little one isn't a huge fan of being held, but she loves sleeping nestled against me and rarely leaves my side. She also does this sort of dance when she gets excited (someone at the door, food, etc) - kinda like a dog doing Riverdance. Her back end seems to move independently of her front end, with her tail and butt waggling all over the place. Keeps me smiling!

[This message edited by carnelian at 7:45 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)]

What are you going to do when he leaves you?

Posts: 564 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Europe
Member # 29068
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

My 2 dogs and 2 cats deserve most of the credit for keeping my sanity in tact. The walks with the dogs cleared my head better than anything else. The kitties obvious compassion and allowing me to cry into their fur was so comforting. Then, they would do silly things to make me laugh, even when I thought the end of the world was near.

And -- they are such good listeners. Not judgmental, no bad advice, just listening.

I am eternally grateful to my pets for getting thru this mess.

BW: 46, me
FWH: 48
DDay: 1/22/2010
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

Posts: 315 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Texas
Member # 37152
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

When WH abandon us prior to DD I bought my son a puppy
It was Christmas time and my son was talking about wanting to be with his dad and his dad would get him a dog
So like a child I beat him to it and paid way too much for a dog I never wanted
But what a blessing
He is comforting and fun and comic relief and we all love him

A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself
BS Me 43
WH 42
DD June 2nd '12
LTA (2+ yrs)
False R Many times from July '12 till now forced D
OW: acting like she is the wife

Posts: 186 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Guelph
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

Mine is kind of the opposite. My dog was a wandering dog we took in while in false R last year. Thought we were in real R at the time, and to think how much time and energy WS put into this dog while screwing around on us and pretending he was putting in the effort with me and the kids....well, even though this is a pretty good dog; I can't bring myself to say I love it because the god itself is kind of a trigger for me. And it pisses me off to no end, because this dog LOVES me and I'm an animal lover at heart. Another thing to take away from me.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 17 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 250 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 40202
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, August 21st (Wednesday)

My dog has provided me lots of love, but she loves everyone in the family unconditionally, even the WW. It would be nice to go through life with the dog's attitude. A warm bed, good food and a solid backrub and I'll love you forver.

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou

Posts: 84 | Registered: Aug 2013
New Member
Member # 39453
Content  Posted: 12:23 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I was just thinking about this yesterday. I am so very glad to have the comfort of my dog. She is a rescue. A Chihuaua/Jack Russell mix. She follows me everywhere. I REALLY MEAN EVERYWHERE. And she loves to sleep next to me. The little dog likes to spoon. No matter how often I toss and turn in the night she hops over me and likes to sleep curled up next to me.

You can not adjust the wind.
But you can adjust the sail.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: S.California
Member # 18862
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

My cats saved my life.

"tous dans le jeu, yo. tous dans le jeu."

Posts: 594 | Registered: Mar 2008
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:11 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

@williesmom...your story about your collie reminded me of my sisters little
mini doxie. Her ws came home, my sis confronted him about ow. He got loud, yelling and such. The dog was on the bed and ws had his ass facing the bed. The dog must have felt my sis was being threatened so she jumped towards her ws and latched onto his left butt cheek. So picture a man with a doxie hanging from his,ass as he's trying to reach behind him and pull her off...priceless
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5130 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

My cocker spaniel was the biggest source of comfort and love for me while h was gone.

Every night as I cried and just let out my primal screams, he was there.

I mean right there, face pressed against mine and I swear he was hugging me. He would keep his paws around my neck for hours.

He slept curled up against me every night.

He followed me everywhere even at 2am.

I could tell that my screams frightened him but he never left my lap.

Even now everytime I cry, he is there ready to comfort and love.

I love him more than I ever thought possible.

"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie


Posts: 1419 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I know cuddling with one of my cats helped me sleep many nights. When I was sleeping on the couch with the TV on to distract me, it was hard to feel bad when my Squirrely Girlie would claw her way inside my sweater to sit on my chest.

Not just my own pets, but there were many sleepless nights here back in the day where threads became suicide watch. It was always so much easier when the one we were watching had pets, a discussion of their cats or dogs, and who would look after them and how they needed their person was one of the most effective ways to get a person through those dark nights.

Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.

Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Member # 39734
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I love my dog. She is my baby girl. I got her when she was nothing but a tiny ball of fur at 10 weeks old. She is now almost 9 yrs old. She loves everyone and loves to cuddle up with me. But sometimes I find myself looking at her and thinking, "OW touched her too". I know she did, he brought her to our home our bed while I was out of town. My dog greets everyone with kisses. I don't love her any less, but damn that hurts.

Our cat on the other hand doesn't like people. She is a rescue and it took her 2 yrs to even come around us. When someone comes here she hides, even after being with us for 6 yrs. So she is "safe" for me. I know that OW didn't touch her, probably didn't even see her when she was here.

Just another thing taken away from me.

Married 8yrs
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
Him~no kids
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!

Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
Topic Posts: 20