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User Topic: Well, hot damn, he's doing it again, seven years later.
scarredforever
Member
Member # 23875
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I am so done. He is on POF, Plenty of Fish, for those of you who don't know.

I am just so done with this.


"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Mark Twain

Me-BS 52
Him-WS 53
Together 33 years

6-5-06 Day of Reckoning

"The acquired inability to escape"


Posts: 1056 | Registered: May 2009 | From: swfl
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I'm so sorry!!!!!


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Ouch...I'm sorry.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3833 | Registered: Dec 2011
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Im so sorry.

(((((scarredforever)))))


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Getting to Happy
Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

What a drag!! I am so sorry.

Have you done the dreaded confrontation yet?

UGH!


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
LA44
Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I am so sorry. And I don't blame you.

((scarredforever))


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2218 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
scarredforever
Member
Member # 23875
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

no confrontation yet, I am kind of thinking why bother?


"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Mark Twain

Me-BS 52
Him-WS 53
Together 33 years

6-5-06 Day of Reckoning

"The acquired inability to escape"


Posts: 1056 | Registered: May 2009 | From: swfl
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I agree...why bother?

Have him served. That will tell him all he needs to know.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7253 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Sadwife222
Member
Member # 40050
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I agree. Serve him at work without warning.


Me BW, Him WH
DD #1, caught 4/12/13
DD #2, tells me the whole truth, 5/21/13
DD #3, TT until 8/9/13 then full disclosure w/timeline
DD #4, 8/26/13, OW texts me more info, he tells me the whole truth
DD # 5, 9/11/13, he tells me the whole truth??

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jul 2013
Knowing
Member
Member # 37044
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Thinking of you. Sending you wishes for strength and clarity. I''m so sorry this is happening in your life right now.


Me: BW, Him: fWH
Together 12 years
My EA (?) 2005-2011
His STA/PA: D-day: 19/09/12
TT: 08/12/12

We are in R.


Posts: 697 | Registered: Oct 2012
Rebreather
Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Ugh! I am so sorry!!


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6347 | Registered: Jan 2011
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Suck. I'm sure that was a crushing moment.

I agree, have him served at work, and when he comes home he can find his shit in bags in the driveway. Oh yah, and change the locks.

I am so sorry....Sometimes you can't fix stupid.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8077 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Dammit.

(((((scarredforever)))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24746 | Registered: Aug 2011
Audrina
Member
Member # 31522
Sad  Posted: 2:10 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I am so sorry. :(
What are you going to do?


Me (betrayed): 35
Him:45


Posts: 266 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Canada
jjsr
Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I am sorry.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1608 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I am sorry


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
kansas1968
Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

How horrible. I just cannot understand how a person could put their spouse through this again after they have seen the devastation that an affair causes. It is just beyond my comprehention.

The first time I think they just don't have a clue about how much damage cheating causes, but they damned well do after that.

So, so, sorry you have wasted six years with someone who obviously has no feelings. Hugs and good luck with your future.

Keep posting. We are always here to listen.


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1302 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Audrina
Member
Member # 31522
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Thinking about you scarredforever.

This is my worst nightmare. I can't imagine how you are feeling.
But I know what I would do in your situation if it happened to me.

Honestly, I would send him packing. He doesn't deserve you. You are worth so much more.



Me (betrayed): 35
Him:45


Posts: 266 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Canada
scarredforever
Member
Member # 23875
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Thanks everyone. I am just in disbelief. Bleh. I do deserve so much more.


"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

Mark Twain

Me-BS 52
Him-WS 53
Together 33 years

6-5-06 Day of Reckoning

"The acquired inability to escape"


Posts: 1056 | Registered: May 2009 | From: swfl
1Faith
Member
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

So so sorry.

But you are right. you do deserve so much more.

Be strong and know that no matter what you will be okay.

It will be hard but you will be okay.

You have already walked through the belly of hell.

Head up, shoulders back. You've done nothing wrong.

PS. I had no idea what POF was...I truly hate the internet and texting. So easy for cowards to hide. Why can't they grow up already?


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1105 | Registered: Apr 2013
kickboxer
Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I'm horrified for you.

POF is where my WH found one of his ONS. He picked her out...he literally went shopping for an affair partner, and then desecrated our vows while I was home cooking his dinner and mothering our children...then I worked until midnight to help pay the bills (I work from home).

I can't go through this only to have it happen again in 6 years.

Why? WHY do they do this?


BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
pewpewpew
Member
Member # 38116
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Ugh.
I am so sorry.
THIS is my biggest fear.
May I ask how you handled the first offense? Counseling, etc?
Any idea how after 7 years of R you are back?!


ME: 30
WH: 35

Fool me once - Shame on you. Fool me twice - pack your shit and get out.


Posts: 308 | Registered: Jan 2013
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Time to throw him back. I''m so sorry.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4677 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 23