User Topic: Fucking Asshole
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

I have had a very busy/stressful week with school starting...bubbling up latent guilt feelings about being a working mom...blah, blah, blah. Whatever, I was handling it. Felt like I had a good balance with everything...

Found out a long time family friend passed away, so am planning on taking Teslet for an overnight this weekend so we can make the funeral. I text ex-shat that his son will be out of state overnight and our hotel information. (It's my weekend with Teslet.) He texts back, "Does he have to go, I had a fishing trip planned for this weekend." I tell him that it is my weekend. He texts back that he thought the calendar said that he had Teslet for three weekends and then said, "I see it's been changed, tho..."
I simply responded "The calendar has not been changed."
Fuck That Guy. I guess shit isn't going his way like he thought with the tax now he's going to try to start something?
I'm upset. And tired. And now I'm paranoid.
Fucking great.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

And how in fucking hell does he have time to go fishing (He' never fished in his life) when he's getting evicted/trying to close on a house/in debt up to his eyeballs.
Fucking douche and his douchebag piece of shit lying ways. If he was going fishing he would have told Teslet all about it and I would have been hearing all about it all week...becuase I heard about the Disneyworld trip back in...oh...feb. Also knew he was looking at houses some time ago as well because Teslet mentioned it.
I hate that fucker right now.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 39901
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

Did he know you were going to a funeral? He probably thinks its a "fun" trip and is trying to compete.

I'm sorry he's such a complete ass.

Posts: 138 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: NW
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, August 22nd (Thursday)

So sorry you have to deal with an ass on top of everything else

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1778 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, August 23rd (Friday)


Please stop listening to all the BULL coming out of his mouth!

((((tesla & teslet))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2615 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, August 23rd (Friday)

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Unbelievable. That is so fucking underhanded.

I was able to muster a little empathy for the sad clown when his BFFs mum passed away. Not too much - just enough to not make date swaps painful.

I cannot believe he is yanking your chain right now. I mean, I'm not surprised but I'm still shocked, IYKWIM?

WTF is it with these lost weekends?? You would think fucking up once would have him double/triple checking so he doesn't let telset down again.

Fuck.That.Guy. He is soulless and an imbecile.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, August 23rd (Friday)

WTF is wrong with his ability to use a Google calendar???? He is THAT incompetent??

I would only add to your title, "STUPID Fucking Asshole."

xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2336 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:30 AM, August 23rd (Friday)

Sparkles- I informed him that we would be attending a funeral...because, you know, maybe he was interested that his son would be learning about death this weekend.

Silly me.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:18 AM, August 23rd (Friday)

I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

Don't open any emails from him till AFTER you return. One of my kids friends had a grandparent pass away. The kids spent time learning and playing card games with this person. I would have taken them, XH refused to allow them to attend.

It sucked on a lot of levels for my kids, the friend did not have her BFFs attending her grandfathers funeral to support her.

If I had to do it over again, I would inform then step away from the email account.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5284 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, August 23rd (Friday)


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana

Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 15046
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, August 23rd (Friday)

I tell him that it is my weekend. He texts back that he thought the calendar said that he had Teslet for three weekends and then said, "I see it's been changed, tho..."

I simply responded "The calendar has not been changed."

It's gonna sound like a lot of extra work, and it is, but I suggest emailing a copy to him. So that you have a time stamped email, with attachment, showing a copy as of such-and-such date.

Keep it in Google calendar, but just email a copy, say every 3 months or so, for the coming 3 months.

It's what I do, and trust me, there is great pleasure if forwarding an old email to him with a "no, see, right here it shows you are a BLAZING DUMBASS"

Divorced: March 2006
Married to a wonderful, FAITHFUL man: October 2009

Posts: 742 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Midwest
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, August 23rd (Friday)


I'm so sorry for your loss.

Posts: 35933 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, August 23rd (Friday)

He's lucky that you even use the calendar....that he doesn't even use anyway. You are a better person than me.

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3416 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

tesla, my wish for you is that you find a way to not let his constant screw ups take you down so low.

Seriously, none of this is shocking. He's developed a pattern to show you who he is. It's obvious he can't manage his way out of a closet.

I would have ended it with "It's my weekend. My information to you was mere courtesy" and let it go at that.

Dayem, he rents a lot of space in your head.


Fidelity isn't a's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!

Posts: 21072 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Member # 33062
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with the poster above who said step away from the email until you return.
You did what you are required; told him you'd be leaving with your son.
He tries to pull a fishing trip? Fuck him. You're not alone in the calender reading disabled ex. I can even send it 10 times by email and he still has no idea when his weekend time is or even what weeknight after its been Tuesday night for years. Really idiots? I'm not sure how they get dressed in the morning to tell you the truth.
Ignore and take care of yourself and try to relax some; even though I know it's hard/impossible w school; kids; jobs; life; ex douchebags; etc. etc....
Sorry for your loss:(

Posts: 662 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

Thanks all.
I come here to get him out of my head. IRL I would not come off as an obsessive spaz like I do here when I post about him. It's a cathartic release and usually I can jet go on with my day. Example: didn't think about him once today (well, until I got on SI) and honestly most days are like that.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

Good place to vent.

He is an ass, and he's pissed that you are capable of making a hotel reservation on your own -and going without him. Think spoiled 13 year old. That's their maturity level.

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2217 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

He is a royal douche

“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, August 23rd (Friday)

He really sounds like he's on drugs. WTH? Weekend fishing trip when he doesn't fish on your weekend? He sounds completely and totally off his nut.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3621 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 1:23 AM, August 24th (Saturday)


You just keep doing what you've been doing. You are one of my SI Heros. I wish I had 1/100th of your class, strength and resolve.

You got this.

If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1037 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
Topic Posts: 20