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New Beginnings
User Topic: Is this how it begins?
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

On a sunny, late Saturday afternoon in the checkout lane? With a cart full of groceries and school supplies? With two boys, seven and four years old, begging for candy?

She looked good, still in her workout clothes, looking like she came straight from the gym. Cart full of food fit for a family. She breaks the ice, noting that there is no divider for the orders. We make strong, yet nervous eye contact, she jokes about being able to relate to my situation with the kids. She mentions that she has three of her own, all under seven. I glance quickly, no wedding band. I ask if grocery shopping is a nice breather for her, she responds that they are with their dad for the weekend. I note that I, too, am a single parent. More eye contact while she bags her groceries. My heart pumping faster and faster, while I mindlessly place my groceries on the belt.

I know I can't blow this chance, I have to get her number, but time is running short as she swipes her credit card. I have never asked a woman out like this before, a complete stranger, in public, in front of the cashier and other customers. Ever. But I am not about to let this become a missed connection, one of those moments you regret the second it passes. I read a story the other day, it reminded me that the only moment you really have is NOW. So I just say it, "would it be ok if I called you sometime?" Whew, I said it. It was almost like I wasn't even in my own body.

She says yes! As she finishes putting her bags in her cart I grab my phone to program her number, hands shaking. She halfway apologizes for not looking good, that she just came from the gym, seemingly surprised that someone would ask her out in such condition (I find her to be beautiful). She is fumbling around in her purse, at first I think it is related to her transaction, then I realize she is nervously fumbling for a pen and paper. We are both nervous. She notices that I am going to program her number, she says the digits, then nervously repeats her name, and spelling. One more glance, a quick goodbye, and back to groceries and fighting boys...

I dated a bit over the summer, started to get a feeling for what I was and wasn't looking for. Just online dating. Nothing turned serious. I realized that it was most likely a woman with kids that I was looking for. In the past few weeks I had become very content with being single, focusing on being the best parent and man I could be. I had developed a pretty firm picture of what I was looking for in a woman, but I wasn't going to worry about it. I am moving to a new home in a few months (that will be a different NB post). School starts for the kids in a week. Enough to think about. And then this...

So, I have never been in this situation before. How soon do I call/text? Is it different rules for busy single parents? The whole three day rule, etc.?

Thank you if you read this far. I know it is lengthy, but I enjoy writing and painting a picture with words. Also, I have been through enough that you never know what tomorrow will bring, so just enjoy this moment for what it is. Even if I never speak with this woman again...

[This message edited by traildad at 5:13 PM, August 24th (Saturday)]


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

So sweet and swoon worthy! So brave!

Call her tomorrow, late afternoon.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3091 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

I agree with cayc. And good luck!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5138 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

Swooning here. You're giving me hope that it could happen.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7653 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

She looked good, still in her workout clothes, looking like she came straight from the gym.

I wish I looked good after the gym. Mostly I look sweaty.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49480 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

I wish I looked good after the gym. Mostly I look sweaty.

Maybe I am not like most guys, but I think women look better the more natural they are. Sweaty, ponytail, sweatshirts, no makeup, etc. I know many guys that feel the same way.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
Chrysalis123
Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

Oh my goodness.....your post made me smile.

And gave me hope....


Don’t get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well. 

Posts: 2677 | Registered: Jan 2010
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

Oh...I hope for a story like this one day ...except I never think a man would approach while I have my kids.

I'd send a text tomorrow asking when a good time to call might be.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
monarchwings
Member
Member # 39891
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

I dont know but I sure hope so because its a great story. Good luck I truly hope the conversation goes well for you both.

Posts: 96 | Registered: Jul 2013
soveryweary
Member
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

Loved reading this trail dad.
Please keep us posted.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 626 | Registered: May 2011
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, August 24th (Saturday)

This is the post of the weekend for me - great story traildad - definitely agree with cayc - call her tomorrow afternoon. If custody arrangement is typical, that will be before her kids get home.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:14 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Awesome! And I think it's very considerate to text to ask when would be a good time to call, especially since she has young'uns of her own.

Good luck!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:59 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

This made me smile.

Although 3+3 <7 kinda scares me witless...


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5559 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:08 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

I'ma agree w/ just call her tomorrow. All the 'rules' of calling, etc. are sorta hokey, in my book. Good Luck!!!


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 752 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
ButterflyGirl
Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 5:19 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Who the heck came up with a 3-day rule?? By that time, I've lost all my giddiness and will figure it's time for me to forget the guy as he obvious wasn't very interested.

I do think there's a fine line between overly desperate and too aloof, so just do what feels natural. A quick text tomorrow asking when a good time to chat is sounds perfect.

And it's definitely swoon worthy. So instead of worrying about online dating, speed dating, or blind dates from my friends, I can just do my thing? Head to the gym, grab some healthy groceries on the way home, and possibly meet a great guy? Awww, now THAT'S how it's supposed to be

Good luck!!


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
newnormal
Member
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Squeeeee!

Your my hero for thinking and acting on the fly. And role model - next time I'm at the grocery store its heads up and be aware of the surrounding people.


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
risingfromashes
Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Wow! Call her! What a great post. Gives me hope that I don't have to resort to OLD when the time comes to start dating again.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1634 | Registered: Mar 2004
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Call her! 3 day rule? Forget it. Give it 24 hours and then call her, maybe too late to still go out but early enough to show that you have an interest.

As a woman and a hopeless romantic I have to say, I always dreamed of something like this. A chance encounter where you can feel the chemistry and where there is that potential of something wonderful. Go for it!


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1255 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
movingforward13
Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Please don't wait three days. Awesome story, I hope this is how it begins!


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 638 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
pjkmkjm23
Member
Member # 35778
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Maybe I am not like most guys, but I think women look better the more natural they are. Sweaty, ponytail, sweatshirts, no makeup, etc. I know many guys that feel the same way.

Go Traildad!!!

(I'm also like you...I way more prefer relaxed and natural! I actually think women in somewhat loose fitting track pants are incredibly sexy too!! lol....tmi?!)


Posts: 305 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Canada
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Great story Traildad. You just never know when you will meet someone and what the circumstances will be. So happy you took the chance. Good luck!


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
traicionada
Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Aww! Moment


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3300 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, August 25th (Sunday)

Def call her before her children come home!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2129 | Registered: Jan 2012
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Seen the commercial where the cute guy picks up the girl who needs gas for her truck? He hesitates and doesn't ask for her number but finds it written in the dust on the trunk of his car. He is on the phone before the commercial ends.

Call. If you are interested, call.

And cool story!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Thanks everyone. Quick update. I waited until I had a few quiet moments away from the kids and called her this afternoon. It went straight to voice mail without ringing. I left a very brief message indicating I hoped we could connect soon, hoping her weekend was enjoyable, and my phone number. More to come...


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
Survivor3512
Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Great post! I hope you hear back from her soon. :)


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

I love this story! However it turns out (and I get a feeling that it's going to be good)it's a great "how we met" story, it gives people hope that you CAN really meet someone cool IRL, doing the everyday normal things that responsible people do, it's so real that both of you were a little nervous, it's wonderfully brave for you to reach out and for her to be open to it, it was perfect that you called within a short time and it's even good that it went to voice mail.

Now my imagination is running away with me.

I like to imagine that she was busy doing the things that moms do when they have a free weekend and had been checking her phone every 5 minutes to see if you had called. The call probably came in between her quick checks and I bet that she is dancing around smiling from ear to ear that you actually called. She's probably stressing about how to contact you back--wondering if she should call or text, what she should or shouldn't say, and has butterflies in her stomach. You know that time when something happens in your life and it's just the beginning and you have everything ahead of you and you think, "gee, I wonder if I'll remember this day, just like it happened, however many years from now?"

I just think it everything about it is way coooooool.

And pardon my overactive imagination

[This message edited by meaniemouse at 3:21 PM, August 25th (Sunday)]


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2113 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

I love the imagination meanie...

She called back about an hour after I left her a message. We were eating dinner so I couldn''''t answer. Been busy with evening routine ever since. Do you think at this point it would be appropriate to send her a quick text asking if there is a convenient time to call? I am sure she is in the midst of bedtime routines as well.

Thanks everyone for the kind words and advice...

[This message edited by traildad at 9:43 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Yes, entirely appropriate. Go for it!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5138 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Send the text!!!!!


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
brokensmile322
Member
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Gosh, I've followed your story, Traildad!

Swooning as well...

Best of luck to you....

Yes text! EEEEK!


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1476 | Registered: Jun 2012
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

...and we just talked on the phone for 80 minutes! Turns out we live two blocks away from each other (for now, I''m moving). We were both pretty nervous (I get quiet when I''m nervous, I think she talks lol)

We have a date scheduled for our next coinciding day without children...in three weeks


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

We have a date scheduled for our next coinciding day without children...in three weeks
That sounds like single parent's schedules. But YAY !!!
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20373 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Yay! I'm so happy for you.

Posts: 35224 | Registered: Mar 2011
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Well done, traildad.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25376 | Registered: Aug 2011
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Awwwww I'm so glad to see the update traildad! I came on SI tonight primarily to check this thread! I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this story.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

And this IS how it begins. Not in a bar, not on an OLD, simply in a grocery check out line. No expectations, no false visions!!!

Go brother!!!


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2842 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

Well played, my friend.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
PanicAttack53
Member
Member # 34195
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, August 26th (Monday)

This made my day and is so awesome to hear td!!! Here's wishing you all the best my friend!


Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 60 | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Posts: 868 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Midwest
Griefstricken25
Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, August 26th (Monday)

This is amazing! Go traildad!

*Mental note - buy some loose fitting sweatpants to wear to the grocery store next time.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2518 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
hexed
Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, August 26th (Monday)

traildad - you're fantastic! this is great even if nothing comes of it. this would be one of my favorite ways to meet someone. simple, fun, genuine...can't beat that!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, August 26th (Monday)

Woohoo! Good job.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7653 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
nutmegkitty
Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, August 26th (Monday)

what a great, great story!

So happy for you traildad!


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, August 26th (Monday)

Thanks everyone. I really hesitated to share all the details of something like this when so many are going through such pain in the JFO, General, and DS forums. Then I realized we sometimes hold back the positive things that happen in our lives. Almost like we are ashamed to have good things happen, or we let fear control us, and we become afraid that the good times won''t last. This leads to us being exposed to more negative than positive news, and that''s just depressing. So I offer my story in great detail to give hope to those that are hurting, and to let others know that it''s ok to celebrate our happiness. I have been through great pain, I confronted it, let myself feel it, and heal through it. Now I am letting myself really feel the opposite, the joy side. I will continue to share this story as it unfolds for those that are interested.

The chain of events that led me being in that checkout lane are beyond comprehension. I am going to enjoy this ride no matter where it leads.

On a different, yet slightly related note. Finding a stable place to live has proven to be a challenge for me and the kids since the D. We left the marital home a year ago and sold it, we couldn''t afford to stay there. We moved to a condo near my parents, but 25 minutes from the kids'' school and their friends, etc. The drive has been taxing on all of us, as has been living in a tny condo, where the kids all share a little bedroom. No friends around either. So I''ve really been hoping for a solution to present itself to remedy this. Last weekend an old neighbor down the street from my marital home contacts me out of nowhere and asks if I would like to rent his home for the next 2-3 years! A beautiful home on the same block as all of my kids'' friends, just 10 min from school! For nearly the same price as my condo! The only catch, he needed me to sign a two year lease almost immediately, as he was purchasing another home. So I took it. Ill be moving back to my old neighborhood in the next month.

The irony is I just met someone wonderful two blocks away, and I am moving 15 min away in a month. These events have unfolded like this for a reason, exactly how they will all play out is anyone''s guess, but I''m gonna enjoy watching it happen.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
HURTAGAIN1981
Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, August 26th (Monday)

I have really really enjoyed reading this thread so PLEASE keep us updated!

Don't feel guilty for one second about posting something positive, it really helps to hear that things can turn around and that things really do get better. It sounds like you have been through hell, you survived, and came out the other side so you deserve all the happiness in the world! I think I may be a little further along than a lot of people in the JFO so that is why I come here to NB, and I am also just starting to date again so this post gives me hope :)

It seems that things are finally coming together for you and that is great news about the house. 15 minutes away is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I hope things continue to go your way


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
asurvivor
Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 11:02 AM, August 26th (Monday)

Good for you Traildad...You appear to be a good and sincere man (yes there are some out there) and I hope it all works out for you. I have a feeling it will.


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 565 | Registered: Jun 2011
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, August 26th (Monday)

This is great news all around Traildad. Keep updating us.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, August 26th (Monday)

Don't you dare hold back on updates!

One of the things that helped me most post d-day was hopping over to NB and seeing happiness didn't end after S/D.

I'm sure there are a lot of people that will be lurking on this one, cheering you on, and taking vicarious pleasure. Don't deprive the lurkers of their joy!


Posts: 3388 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, August 26th (Monday)

Ill be sure to update this thread throughout the journey :)

Now on to bridging the gap for 2.5 weeks until the date. How often to text/call? Keep things fresh and front of mind without overdoing it.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
HURTAGAIN1981
Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, August 26th (Monday)

I hope you're right asurvivor. I haven't met one yet :p

traildad, those 2.5 weeks will fly by. I am not sure how often you should text. I think just do what feels normal to you. Maybe start out with a text tomorrow and see how she responds to it and whether it's easy for the two of you to keep the conversation going?


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, August 26th (Monday)

Awww, good luck! Your story made me smile.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6740 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
She11ybeanz
Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, August 26th (Monday)

Oh man! I wish a guy would do this to me in public! I can't tell you how many times I would run into a cutie pie in the grocery store and (being the woman) was too damn nervous to say anything and of course the guy not say anything and the moment passes.....

GOOD LUCK!!! Keep us posted!!! Definitely don't wait too long! Coming from dealing with a poofer....women who are truly interested will be delighted to hear from you the sooner the better! (maybe not from your car after you pack the groceries...but in the next day or so! )


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2722 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, August 26th (Monday)

I think a 15 minute gap between you could be the blessing. Too close and you have no privacy? It would be a little much for me, but a fifteen minute drive or the 10 minute spot in between is just enough to build anticipation before you meet.

As for your communication question: Do you text? Does she? Is daily banter something you do with friends? I think it is fine to keep communication low key until you actually meet up. But you have already "met" and know if the "potential for chemistry" is there.... so investing in some verbal build up before the date might be fun!!

You had no trouble with an hour plus conversation. When do you want to talk to her again?

So happy you did share. It is fun to celebrate with others!!

And congrats on the move to a house that seems to negate the drawbacks of the condo!!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, August 26th (Monday)

I think a 15 minute gap between you could be the blessing.

I''m feeling this too, being within walking distance creates a lot of pressure for sure.

Two independently amazing events occurred in my life in the same week, at first both seeming to be in contradiction with each other, but perhaps less so than first appears.

As for communication, we exchanged a few texts today, low key, it felt natural after a nice conversation last night. No communication would''ve seemed off. We both have expressed interest in speaking again soon. I can see a phone call in 3-4 days.

I love the input everyone, truly amazing.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 6:21 PM, August 26th (Monday)

Sweet story! I don't think 15 minutes is too long of a trip - seems just about right for the sake of privacy.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5138 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Trust me traildad--there are some of us who are literally dying to hear a positive story. It doesn't have to be my story to make me smile--it's enough for me to know that at least someone who has been through what we have is again!

That's great news about your new place. 15 minutes is a perfect transition time. Long enough to let go of what you were busy doing before but not long enough to get too nervous about what you're on your way to.

I so love when the good karma bus swings by our SI friends. Please, please keep us updated. I am loving this story!


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2113 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:43 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Oh, it just gives the rest of us hope! I would much prefer to meet someone "the old fashioned way" rather than OLD. It just doesn't seem...practical? I think when I'm out with my kids, I have the "back off" vibe on. When I'm alone, I'm generally studying. I have had guys approach me when I'm studying...every single one has had a wedding back on.

So...keep posting!

How about schedule a phone call? I've had guys do that. A text saying, "Would you have time to talk on XXX around 8pm?" Then, I don't expect texting in between, it pulls the pressure off of both of us.

I think having some space between the person I'm dating is good. There are a few single Dads in my 'hood...and I avoid them like the plague.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

Conversation #2 - over 2 hours! First date still 2 weeks out, but the build up is gonna be strong. Getting a feeling about this one...


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

I love this thread so much... I'm a huge believer in things working out the way they're supposed to. And I too think 15 minutes is perfect.

Happy for you.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
trebleclef
Member
Member # 33488
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

We're cheering from the sidelines.


True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Alberta
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

This is awesome. You put me in a good mood with your good news! Definitely keep us updated. I'm so glad you went for it and didn't let her leave without getting her number.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 897 | Registered: Mar 2013
heartbroken_kk
Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, September 1st (Sunday)

so awesome. Thanks for sharing!


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1186 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 5:46 AM, September 2nd (Monday)

I keep coming back and reading this thread. Gives me goosebumps and a smile.

Thank you for sharing this with us.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

If you find yourself in the early stages of dating someone new, I can not recommend enough taking the time to appreciate what it is you are experiencing. It truly is the opposite of all the hurt of infidelity. Step back each day and admire observe the process, really live in the moment. Look at it from the perspective of the future, if you go on to marry this person, don''t you want to remember these moments and feelings, vividly. You have that opportunity. Do not worry, just live and experience.

I am happily observing one phone call, turning into occasional texts, into a long, deep phone call, into more frequent texts and sharing of our days. More importantly, I am enjoying the shift from nervously getting to know more about someone (when you know nothing) to wanting to be a part of each other''s day. Today there was an ever so slight shift, sharing of good news, a goodnight text. That tone that says, we aren''t just friends...


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, September 2nd (Monday)


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25376 | Registered: Aug 2011
fallingquickly
Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 3:59 AM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

traildad,

I just read the entire thread and smiled so much my jaw hurts. Please keep with the updates. I love hearing that there is happiness possible ahead.

Congratulations on the wonderful luck of renting in your old neighborhood. How wonderful for your children! And it says something about you that your old neighbor wants you in his house. I'm so glad that things are looking so good for you all.

FQ


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
AussieMum
Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

This thread makes me smile!

So happy for you traildad


Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, September 5th (Thursday)

A little over a week until the much anticipated first date. We talked on the phone again last night for another hour and a half. I find it very refreshing that she has her life together and clearly isn''t looking for a guy to come along and save the day. She is thriving as a single, working mom of three young kids. She also, despite all she has going on, keeps her word, calls when she says she will, and is clearly making it a priority for us to talk every few days.

A common theme I have seen in NB threads relates to someone not making time for a SO, and what that means. Now, I have seen both angles, and I can honestly say that if someone wants to make time, they will. I dated someone for a few weeks over the summer, I never seemed to have time to talk with or see her. Finally, I came to the realization it was because I just wasn''t that into her. It wasn''t intentional, I wasn''t trying to mislead her, but somewhere subconsciously I didn''t feel she was worth sacrificing sleep, time with friends, etc. As soon as I realized that, I ended it.

Now, here we are, both single, working parents, each with three children seven and under - and we have found time to have regular conversations. It can happen.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

Swooning over your updates trail dad!


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

Smiling from ear to ear ..


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

Still loving this story and anxiously awaiting follow-ups. In the meantime--good for you traildad. GOOD for you!


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2113 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Thanks everyone for the positive responses to sharing my story!

I am leaving in just over an hour to pick her up for our first date...I've been on a couple of first dates since my D, but this one has a different feel.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
Broken hearted61
Member
Member # 34931
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Hope you have a fantastic time and a new beginning in your life.


BGF (50) me
WBF (50) him
DD#1 02/23/2012

TT 03/19/2012
Working on R (03/21/2012)
It's over: 5/5/12


Posts: 223 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Be sure to come back with an update afterward!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, September 13th (Friday)

So...... this update. Does traildad have a curfew tonight???


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Someone please pass the popcorn?

Will check back later.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I hope it's a really late date, he deserves a fun evening!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2129 | Registered: Jan 2012
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:01 PM, September 13th (Friday)

All night party waiting up for traildad!! whoo hoo!!

(passes K the popcorn)

Can anyone else imagine the day traildad tries to explain "US" and this thread to his lady friend??


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, September 13th (Friday)

All night party waiting up for traildad!! whoo hoo!!
(passes K the popcorn)

Can anyone else imagine the day traildad tries to explain "US" and this thread to his lady friend??

Passes the popcorn back to CG, we can figure out a name for this group waiting for the update . I call y'all my Internet friends. If they don't get it or feel threatened by it -NEXT!!! My Internet friends are too dang important to my health and well being.

Do we have anything to drink, popcorns making me thirsty !

I hope trail dad is having fun.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Living vicariously through traildad is the best fun for tonight!

Internet friends are one thing. But the internet ladies chatting away on his thread, passing imaginary popcorn and wine back and forth while keeping tabs on how LATE it gets while he is on his date.... Yeah, that borders on the "voices in my head tell me I am not crazy" vein.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, September 13th (Friday)

And he probably won't update till Sunday.

Yep living vicariously thru traildad .

Anyone else starting to notice guys in the supermarket?


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
burnt_toast
Member
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Awesome, just awesome.


It is what it is.

Posts: 4699 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I'll take some wine and popcorn too.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
heartbroken_kk
Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Beer and corn nuts here. Traildad, he's out there. I live vicariously!


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1186 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Elaine2012
Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, September 13th (Friday)

My first thought when I saw this at the top of the thread was, "oh good". I've been wondering when date night was. I was just wanting a snack popcorn sounds great.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
Elaine2012
Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, September 13th (Friday)

sorry double post

[This message edited by Elaine2012 at 10:44 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Just got home, update to come in a few minutes


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
timeforchange
Member
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Strumming my fingers on the kitchen table impatiently..... Refresh refresh!

Am sincerely hoping you had a great time and are intrigued enough to want to see her again


Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:40 PM, September 13th (Friday)

^^^^^^^^ ditto!


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, September 13th (Friday)

From the supermarket checkout lane...to long goodnight kiss(es)!

After nearly three weeks of build up, several long conversations, and a few flirty texts, date night finally arrived!

In my old-fashioned style, I had picked up the phone and formally asked her if I could pick her up for our date, she said yes. So, at 7pm tonight I drove two blocks, walked nervously to her door and knocked. She invited me in for a moment, she looked beautiful in a patterned skirt and top with denim jacket. We talked for a few in her kitchen, then left for a small, out of the way Italian restaurant with a quiet, romantic atmosphere.

We talked for an hour before even remembering to order our dinner. The conversation came easy. We each ordered some red wine, and just talked. About life, kids, dreams, bucket lists, etc. After the meal we each enjoyed an after dinner drink. We didn't want to end the night there. So we headed a block down to the local Irish Pub, where we sat at the bar, ordered some red wine, and talked for another two hours. We even chatted with the bartender a bit, who just happens to be getting married in a few months and found our story very romantic.

After a cold walk to the car, we enjoyed a nice long conversation as we sat stopped by a train for fifteen minutes. She was throwing some "kiss me" hints as we sat, but the conversation didn't feel right, so I waited. We pulled into her driveway, where we sat in the old minivan and talked for another 30 minutes. There was to be no walking her to the door tonight as she was entering through her garage. So I simply asked her if it would be ok to kiss her right there, and we shared a short peck, followed by two longer, slower kisses. (I rushed the delivery a bit :) But she didn't get out of the car, but rather we talked some more. We set up our next date, a night-time flashlight corn maze and bonfire. We shared two more slow kisses before we finally parted ways for the evening. Sigh.

So I got home, and realized I had never told her that she looked nice. So, I sent her a quick goodnight text telling her I had a great time, and that she looked really nice tonight. She replied that she had a great time too.

There were a lot of laughs shared...and I had quite a few more when I got home and saw this thread

Thanks everyone for sticking with my story, goodnight!


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

Sleep well . You've put a smile on my face tonight . Thanks for the update.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:50 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

Awesome, traildad. Happy for you.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15396 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:53 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

Sounds just... perfect. So glad you enjoyed your evening, traildad.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25376 | Registered: Aug 2011
Griefstricken25
Member
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 1:17 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

Oh MAN, traildad! So living vicariously, and so happy for you!


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2518 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 1:26 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

that's awesome


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1335 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Too_Trusting
Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

I just read this whole thread, and for once, I'm glad I came to the party late! I got to read from check-out line to date in one setting!

This is such a wonderfully sweet thread. To someone that has completely sworn off dating, it is refreshing to live vicariously through traildad.

Soooooo, when is the corn maze and bonfire date???


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2468 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

What a beautiful way to start my morning!!

Congrats, traildad. Enjoy this time. And share often!!

Glad we got to be a part of your joy.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5824 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
foxglove
Member
Member # 21791
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

Nice!

Second date?


Me (BS)47
XH (WS)53
Married 21 years
Divorced 2/19/07
Two sons 21 and 23 in college

Posts: 1453 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Northern Michigan
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

That second date sounds like fun!!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

Yeay! Score one for the good guys!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3585 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

So happy for you!

Posts: 35224 | Registered: Mar 2011
WhoIsThisWoman
Member
Member # 27424
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

What a great story. So happy for you... Going to pay more attention to when I'm out at the grocery store...

Best of luck!


Me: 40 yo
STBXWW: 41 yo
Married 15 years, 4 kids.
EA in '07
PA in '09 (same OM)

Posts: 248 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: PA, USA
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

GREAT first date!!! Can't wait to hear about the next one - that sounds really cool!


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

So loved reading this. Can't wait for the next update! Thanks for helping keep hope alive!


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2113 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

Thanks everyone.

Definitely keep your eyes open in the grocery store

More importantly, act in the moment, don't wait. The only moment you really have is NOW. Don't let fear every hold you back.

Just a few days before i met this wonderful woman in the grocery store I had read this article (someone may have posted in the NB here, I can't remember how I found it, if it was you, Thank You!):

http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2013/08/the-loveliest-short-story-you-will-read-today-was-published-on-craigslist/278533/

As I was in the checkout lane, and had made eye contact, I thought immediately about this article, and how I would feel if I let this moment pass without saying something. So I acted, and I am so glad I did

[This message edited by traildad at 9:56 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
timeforchange
Member
Member # 27454
Default  Posted: 12:09 AM, September 15th (Sunday)

Love your story and hope it brings hope to people still in the early stages of their journey into a new life after infidelity.


Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”


Posts: 726 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Expats in Europe
Iamhappytoday
Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 1:01 AM, September 15th (Sunday)

I just had the biggest bummer of a night, then read this, and all feels right in the world!

It seriously corrected my night!

I just wish you the best. Good for you for taking a chance.
This gives me hope. Wishing you continued happiness!


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

Well...we just spontaneously had our second date!! We were texting back and forth and realized that each of us was meddling around the house awaiting the arrival of our children...with three hours to spare. So I walked two blocks and we had some wine, watched some football, talked, and made out for a bit

Just an everyday Sunday afternoon


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

Fun. Keep the stories coming.


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2113 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

Great story traildad. So refreshing to read something like this.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3810 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

That's great Traildad. As someone involved in an LDR, I would love the opportunity to do something spontaneous like that with my special someone. Glad you two are clicking so well together.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
burnt_toast
Member
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

swoon


It is what it is.

Posts: 4699 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
clralb
Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

I have a big grin on my face reading your story!

Being a native Michigander, this time of the year is great for dates! Not too hot, yet not too cold yet. I miss this time of year there.

Wishing you the best


"To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear."
Buddha

Posts: 681 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
veelop5
Member
Member # 11089
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, September 16th (Monday)

This story made my eyes swell up with tears of joy for you...You give so many of us hope....enjoy the ride...she sounds lovely!!!!


ME-38
XH-40
3 beautiful boys (20,19 & 15)
Update: Moved in to my own apartment 8/7/2012
Divorce final 3/27/2013

Posts: 1085 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Pennsylvania
Too_Trusting
Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

^^bumping for an update, Traildad


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2468 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
hitbyatruck
Member
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

I don't really ever read too much down here in this forum but I have the time tonight....and I am so glad I did. I love a great true story. So happy I came late to the thread and was able to read it all at once.

Very happy for you and HER! How flattering. To be asked out in the grocery store after being at the gym, AWESOME!


Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3280 | Registered: Apr 2009
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

My favorite thread currently


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)

Good afternoon! I'm back for a quick update. Would have been sooner, but...

we had a wonderful third date on Friday night. A fun dinner being introduced to sushi by a very helpful waitstaff, attempting to use chopsticks. Shared some wine afterward, and had some deep talks about where we are in life, and how we felt about this 'relationship' (meaning we agreed this was now a relationship), it was a very intimate talk, a very intimate evening

She is a really wonderful woman. She didn't choose her D (not infidelity related), but has pulled herself up and has hit her stride in life, she is very happy being who she is, with or without someone. We have found ourselves meeting at a time where we are both cruising along comfortably with our own lives. Both in very healthy places, not expecting this to happen, not looking for this to happen. I think that makes it all the more exciting. Neither of us 'need' to be with someone, but we want to be with each other. We are bringing our healthiest selves into this, and our guard is slowly dropping.

Then last night she came over...and we talked for hours...just talked, could have talked all night, but we have responsibilities, a lot of them. Looking forward to when we can see each other again.

I am so glad that four weeks ago today I recognized a moment that truly could be life changing. I am savoring the joy of this moment, no matter where this road leads. Thanks for following along.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25376 | Registered: Aug 2011
fraeuken
Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)

Your story gives so much hope.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1255 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)

So happy that good things do happen, keep us updated


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
thebighurt
Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)

This is a great thread, traildad! I haven't been around in a while, but glad I dropped in last night and saw this. Had to check again when I saw there were more posts.

And to think, this started with a first date on Friday the 13th!! Glad you're not superstitious!


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2331 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
mchercheur
Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)

I am so happy for you, Traildad


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1391 | Registered: Dec 2012
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:57 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)

I just love this and am so excited for you both!


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)

Just so you know traildad, I make SI my last stop before I go to bed on Sunday, just hoping for a update from you. Thanks for not disappointing me but thanks more for giving all of us hope. After reading so many sad stories (and that's not even counting my own!) it's refreshing to see a nice guy finishing first. Well done, sir! Lucky you and lucky her!

**edited to fix "forgiving" to "for giving"--a Freudian slip, perhaps

[This message edited by meaniemouse at 11:39 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)]


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2113 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
Too_Trusting
Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

What a wonderful update. Thanks for sharing and taking us along on your journey.


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2468 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 4:20 AM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Any updates?


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, October 12th (Saturday)


We have been on several more dates, with plans to spend most of this afternoon and evening together. A concert planned for next month. More fun and laughter with each date. A little apprehension from each of us as perhaps we didn't quite expect this, and were both pretty darn happy being single. Letting things develop naturally.

Oh, one other thing...I slipped and told her about this thread...and she has read the entire thing, and loved it!!!


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, October 12th (Saturday)

Oh, one other thing...I slipped and told her about this thread...and she has read the entire thing, and loved it!!!

Slipped? Really?

You just wanted to introduce you closest 40,000 friends to her.

This such a great thread Traildad. I'm so happy for you and your SO.

[This message edited by gahurts at 8:33 AM, October 12th (Saturday)]


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
torn2bits
Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, October 12th (Saturday)

Ok traildad, soooo happy for you both.

Carp diem!!!!

We know you are both well. This is really all we need to know.

On with your great adventure!

Cheers!


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 3:11 AM, October 18th (Friday)

I wondered how she would feel about this thread!!!

Sounds like you have a really awesome woman!

Congrats!


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2129 | Registered: Jan 2012
Elaine2012
Member
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, October 19th (Saturday)

Nice to see an update! I've checked back a few times wondering.


Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 285 | Registered: Jul 2012
IndianDreams
New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

I've only just come across this thread tonight and have read the whole thing in one go, all 7 pages, with a great big grin on my face and even a tear in my eye at points.
I don't know you TrailDad but like all of us here you deserve your happy ending - relish every second of it


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, October 20th (Sunday)

It's nice to share.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
meaniemouse
Member
Member # 10798
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)

Reading this just makes me wanna go


Act as if what you do matters. It does. William James

Posts: 2113 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Midwest
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

I started to write about the dates (there have been many!), the fun we''ve been having (a lot), and even the "big" steps we''ve taken. That would''ve been fun to share, and I will. But it really isn''t about all of that. It''s about moments. The moment I watched her walk on stage to perform in a community theatre play, that feeling of pride. The moment when she shared and celebrated a new beginning for me in a new house. That moment I realized I was going to miss her as I walked out the door, not to see her for 12 days. The moment she looked amazing in a ball cap and jeans cooking dinner. There have been many moments, all starting in the grocery store checkout lane. The beauty being that my life experience has taught me to savor these moments without fear or apprehension. I wrote a post about fear over a year ago. That was about fear of negative events. I didn''t realize that the greatest threat to joy was fear, that fear can keep us from fully enjoying those moments. Letting go of that fear is powerful, exciting, and joyful. I like her very much, and I am enjoying each step of this journey as it unfolds naturally. Thanks everyone for following along.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
thyme2go
Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

Good for you. Enjoy what you have while you have it and certainly don't ever take it for granted. My NB has not gone so well.


-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9177 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

I agree…fear stops us from just saying, "screw it, I'm going for it!" and seeing if we find joy behind the fear.

So glad it is continuing to go well for you. You give many of us hope


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:39 PM, November 14th (Thursday)

I don't know how I missed this thread way back in September. Glad I found it now. So very happy for you Traildad. Love the lesson about savoring life's moments--I agree 100%--the moments are where life happens.

Smiling for you tonight! (Smiling and thinking YIPPPEEE for both of them!!!)


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3130 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 3:02 AM, November 15th (Friday)

Thanks for the updates, it is wonderful to hear the happy story.


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Happy Thanksgiving! On Friday I will meet her three children, and she will meet my three children, and they will meet each other. Her and I with six children ages 4-8 visiting a museum and having lunch! What an amazing journey! :)


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Enjoy your day, traildad.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25376 | Registered: Aug 2011
Brandon808
Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, November 27th (Wednesday)

Throw in a housekeeper named Alice and you''ve got the Brady Bunch

Seriously though, Happy Thanksgiving and much luck to you both.

[This message edited by Brandon808 at 10:54 PM, November 27th, 2013 (Wednesday)]


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3810 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 12:31 AM, November 28th (Thursday)

How exciting traildad! Hope it all goes well.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, November 28th (Thursday)

Every time I see this thread at the top of this section-it brings a smile. Thank you Traildad and Lady Friend for sharing your new beginning with us.

Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy your time together at the museum.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, November 28th (Thursday)

Happy Thanksgiving Traildad to you and your lady. I hope it is a fun day and all the kids get along well.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
HobbesTheTiger
Member
Member # 41477
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, November 28th (Thursday)

Hi. I've been lurking here for some time and this thread is one of the most heart-warming I've read. and I'm really happy for you guys!

However, I wonder if it's too soon for kids to get involved? You have been seeing each other for "only" 3-4 months, and I've heard people/psychologists recommend waiting 6-12 months...

Happy holidays and good luck in any case!:)


BxBf, 26
Lots of FOO&other issues, working it through therapy
Legal profession

Posts: 171 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Continental Europe
IrishLass518
Member
Member # 34373
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, November 29th (Friday)

Hoping that your outing was a good one for everyone :)


Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

Posts: 1755 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: WA
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, November 29th (Friday)

We've certainly heard every Brady Bunch reference you can think of! :) Today was a good day! A nice, casual meet-up at a museum to visit with Santa and have some lunch. It was a nice, low-pressure way to meet each others' kids and break the ice. Everyone had a good time. We have a beautiful picture of all six children standing in front of a Christmas tree. A very cool day. Wonderful to see her in her main role as a mother. She's fantastic.

The kids do not know her and I are dating, although the more insightful ones may suspect it. If asked directly we would tell the truth, but for now we treated this outing as if we were friends only. We will keep things casual like this for now, and let things develop naturally.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
Blackhair
Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 4:29 AM, December 1st (Sunday)

Thanks for the update, we all love it hear the happy stories!


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

I took a chance in the checkout lane ... and here I am almost five months later, I couldn't be happier. Our kids have met and know we are dating. We had a fantastic holiday season together. My life changed completely because of that one chance encounter. Before I met her I would've laughed if you told me I could possibly fall in love again anytime soon. Now, here I am, falling for her more and more each day.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, January 11th (Saturday)

So glad things are going well for you guys, traildad. Thanks for the update!


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25376 | Registered: Aug 2011
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 1:06 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Nice update. Hope your happiness continues


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1335 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:27 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Because of you…I look around at the checkout line at the grocery store

Glad to hear all is going well!


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
ImEnoughForMe
Member
Member # 41869
Default  Posted: 7:00 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

I'm so glad you posted an update and things are going wonderful for you two. I was just thinking of your story and wondering how things were going.

What you have shared with us gives us hope.

Thank you.


Do the best you can do until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. - Maya Angelou

Posts: 73 | Registered: Jan 2014
Too_Trusting
Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, January 12th (Sunday)

Thanks for the update! I was just wondering about you and this wonderful journey, so I guess you got my ESP message!


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2468 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
traildad
Member
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Six months ago yesterday I took a chance. I had no idea it would lead to all of this. I am incredibly thankful for this wonderful woman in my life. :)


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
lovehatelove
Member
Member # 42541
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Ohhhhh my....

traildad you made me get teary eyed....

what an amazing story... and everything seems to be going well!!

I'm very happy for you!!

(and hopeful that I too will meet someone if I choose the divorce route...)


DDay ~ 2/23/13

Posts: 163 | Registered: Feb 2014
gahurts
Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:38 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Thrilled to see you posted an update. Very happy for you both and glad it is still working out and hope it continues.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3416 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
SoHappyNow
Member
Member # 8923
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Glad to see your update! Sometimes life tosses us someone wonderful and says "Here....catch!". It did for me and seems like it did for you, too.


In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus

***Used to be hit-by-a-train***
Remarried 2/14/14


Posts: 2290 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: USA
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)

This. Is. Awesome.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4144 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
PhoenixRising88
Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

I don't know what else to say except...

AWWWWWWW.....

and...

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!..........

And - I am so very very happy for you Traildad, and thanks so much for sharing your story, gives me hope of finding that someone special someday....


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 426 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)

Great update.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4527 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
whatdoto
Member
Member # 28555
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)

I just read this thread. I am so happy for you both! I think I'm going to start breaking up my grocery shopping into several trips each week. Maybe I'll get lucky? The OLD thing is not for me. It's exhausting and too many games.

Now, let me make up my grocery list and head into a bigger town with better grocery stores. Living in a small town, there isn't much pickins here! LOL

Traildad, again, happy for you!


"If your ideal image of yourself is in the future, it's going to stay there".

Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Texas
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)

I love this thread!! Thanks for the update!


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5099 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 165