SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: ws to fws
confusedsad
New Member
Member # 39298
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, August 25th (Sunday)

When does a spouse turn from a wayward spouse to a former wayward spouse? I have seen people put that in their messages, but I don't know when that transformation happens.


Me- Betrayed - married 16 years
Him- 2 week affair with someone at work
9 kids
Trying to R

Posts: 35 | Registered: May 2013 | From: confusedsad
MrsDoubtfire
Member
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 2:48 AM, August 26th (Monday)

When you are 110% shown proof that their cheating behaviours are now in a former life. If there is still any chance of seeing anything remotely suspicious or if they continue to disrespect you or the M then they are still wayward in their thinking.


BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now becomeć

Posts: 1583 | Registered: Jul 2009
cantaccept
Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, August 26th (Monday)

I seem to have developed my own coding system.

He is being transparent, kind, in mc and ic. I believe that he is not a risk at this time for betrayal but I don't trust yet completely.

I always refer to him as "h", no capitalization, and the "a" is also not capitalized. I guess I think of the capital as a sign of respect, kind of like a name or God are always capitalized.

Silly but it's how I feel.

He will get the capital when I feel he has earned it and the "a" will never get it.


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divor


Posts: 1427 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
TxsT
Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, August 26th (Monday)

Confused...

For me it is a way to validate that I have turned the corner of being a BS and he has turned the corner of being a WS. We have worked long and hard and overcome this hell together. I acknowledge his pain along with my own, which is very hard from some BS's to do. To me a FWS means I no longer feel he will ever be that way again. He has discovered that he too made our marriage weak...something many WS's never admit to.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
Topic Posts: 4