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User Topic: Sorry won't ever fix it
Too_Trusting
Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, August 26th (Monday)

Saw this today and felt like it perfectly sums up why sorry just isn't enough in infidelity:


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2482 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, August 26th (Monday)

This is perfect!

In my opinion when they say "for what it's worth" before the sorry just demeans it even more.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
AStar
Member
Member # 39971
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, August 26th (Monday)

I understand this perfectly. Sorry, remorse or being absolutely perfect H after an EA is not enough for me.
It can not be fixed - ever. Scars remain. So no thanks, I have difficulty even trying to fix something I didnt break.


Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
olwen
Member
Member # 39759
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, August 26th (Monday)

I saw this on facebook a few weeks ago and showed it to H as it expressed my feelings on the matter exactly.

He paused for a minute looking sad and said "that's so true, I get what you're saying - but isn't it my job to get the superglue and try to mend it as best I can?"

I was pretty touched by that but also saddened that we have to mend the broken plate in the first place.


Together 19yrs
me BS 36
him WS 41 (silent lucidity)
ea 1 facebook flirting with an ex 2011
ea/pa - co worker 6wks feb to apr2013 pa for 1 wk with sex one time
too much tt to count = latest tt 30/7/14

Posts: 804 | Registered: Jul 2013
Too_Trusting
Member
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, August 26th (Monday)

olwen, your WS has the right idea. I posted this because many WS (mine included ) reach for the "sorry card" and think that will make it better.

Once you have shattered someone's heart and trust into a million pieces, sorry doesn't mean a thing without that GLUE.


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2482 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
cancuncrushed
Member
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 26th (Monday)

This was probably silly, but it really came from my heart. I told my H to never, ever, apologize again. Ever. The word sorry, means nothing, and he seemed to be so free afterward. It makes me violent.


a trigger yesterday

Posts: 948 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, August 26th (Monday)

I feel the same way and my WH has said it a million different ways. I know that must be frustrating for him too.

I always thought I hated the vase idea because I didn't want there to be cracks

So I am trying to look at this like a bone that breaks. When it grows back, it grows back even stronger.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
RedRose
Member
Member # 39584
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, August 26th (Monday)

I love this quote!

Olwen, it sounds like your H really gets it!

It is really frustrating to hear "sorry" all the time but not have him really get it.


BW-35
WH - 35
2.5 year LTA

Posts: 160 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 8