User Topic: Is it normal to feel as if you're dreaming?
Member # 39669
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, August 26th (Monday)

It's like my mind refuses to believe all of this is/ has been happening?

Wants nothing to do with our daughter
No Contact

Posts: 75 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Newwhere
Member # 40141
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, August 26th (Monday)

That's the way I have been feeling this whole time (about 7 weeks) and it's just now really starting to hit me that this isn't a nightmare.

The 1st couple weeks I would wake up thinking it was all a dream, then when I realized it was real I could hardly breath. Now I am slowly accepting that this is my new reality and figure out where to go from here. Not easy and I am sorry you are here too

M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD4 and a newborn
D-Day 7/2013 he didn't want R and moved in with OW
Filing for D

Posts: 155 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
Member # 35874
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Oh yeah. I would bolt awake at all hours of the night thinking, this cannot be happening.

Those first few months I floated around like I was in a dream. I think it's how our brains deal with trauma.

Now, a year and a half plus later, I'm feeling great and so much happier...and yet I STILL wake up in the middle of the night and think...WTF? I think about our beautiful years together, when things were good and I trusted him and never, ever would have predicted this...I think about the births of our kids...and still just can't believe it happened the way it did.
I think maybe in some ways that feeling of it being a dream/nightmare never fully goes away???

Me BS (39)
Him WS (36)
2 DS
M: 9 years (together 13)
DD: 4/10/2012
(Separated since 12/11...affair began ??!!)


Posts: 322 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: USA
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Very normal. It's your mind trying to protect you from the pain of your reality.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9625 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 1:55 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Yes, I feel the same. When I think about our previous life together, I feel the same way. Us getting married, having our babies, getting the dog, etc. It all seems like it was a dream now.

BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 886 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 5:10 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Yes. I'm sure it's as Nature Girl said - a self-preservation mechanism built into our brains somehow. It's completely normal. For the first week, or so, I truly wondered if maybe, just maybe, I was going to wake up from a dream (nightmare). For the next couple of weeks, I still couldn't believe it was true (that my wife had cheated on me), but the "hope" that I would be waking from a dream started to fade.

You're lucky to have found SI this early in the process of discovering the betrayal. I found it a bit later, so I wasn't able to do sanity checks like the one you're doing with this post.

Sorry you're here. Good luck to you.

Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 944 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Yes...I think and feel it's a fog of it's own, an unreality, perhaps, that our mind finds in order to handle things as they come.

So much shock.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I was a functioning zombie for at least the first two months after the last D-Day. It is normal, but will slowly start to fade as the shock wears off and your brain starts to come to terms with your new reality. I went through the motions of daily life and dealing with the upheaval, but really could not tell you exactly what I did as it is all very hazy. Time really does help so hang in there!

BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet

Posts: 1082 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

((((ariabook)))) It is normal, or at least what passes for normal in these conditions. Hang in there.

You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams

Posts: 25249 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Totally normal. It is the brains way of helping you deal with the shock. Over the weeks ahead it will fade. Just hang in there!!!!

BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 316 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Topic Posts: 10