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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Is it normal to feel as if you're dreaming?
Ariabook
Member
Member # 39669
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, August 26th (Monday)

It's like my mind refuses to believe all of this is/ has been happening?



Separated
Wants nothing to do with our daughter
No Contact

Posts: 75 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Newwhere
pregnantandsad
Member
Member # 40141
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, August 26th (Monday)

That's the way I have been feeling this whole time (about 7 weeks) and it's just now really starting to hit me that this isn't a nightmare.

The 1st couple weeks I would wake up thinking it was all a dream, then when I realized it was real I could hardly breath. Now I am slowly accepting that this is my new reality and figure out where to go from here. Not easy and I am sorry you are here too


M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD4 and a newborn
D-Day 7/2013 he didn't want R and moved in with OW
Filing for D

Posts: 155 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
NWfleur
Member
Member # 35874
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Oh yeah. I would bolt awake at all hours of the night thinking, this cannot be happening.

Those first few months I floated around like I was in a dream. I think it's how our brains deal with trauma.

Now, a year and a half plus later, I'm feeling great and so much happier...and yet I STILL wake up in the middle of the night and think...WTF? I think about our beautiful years together, when things were good and I trusted him and never, ever would have predicted this...I think about the births of our kids...and still just can't believe it happened the way it did.
I think maybe in some ways that feeling of it being a dream/nightmare never fully goes away???


Me BS (39)
Him WS (36)
2 DS
M: 9 years (together 13)
DD: 4/10/2012
(Separated since 12/11...affair began ??!!)

Divorced!!!


Posts: 307 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: USA
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Very normal. It's your mind trying to protect you from the pain of your reality.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8792 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 1:55 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Yes, I feel the same. When I think about our previous life together, I feel the same way. Us getting married, having our babies, getting the dog, etc. It all seems like it was a dream now.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 722 | Registered: Mar 2013
nomistakeaboutit
Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 5:10 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Yes. I'm sure it's as Nature Girl said - a self-preservation mechanism built into our brains somehow. It's completely normal. For the first week, or so, I truly wondered if maybe, just maybe, I was going to wake up from a dream (nightmare). For the next couple of weeks, I still couldn't believe it was true (that my wife had cheated on me), but the "hope" that I would be waking from a dream started to fade.

You're lucky to have found SI this early in the process of discovering the betrayal. I found it a bit later, so I wasn't able to do sanity checks like the one you're doing with this post.

Sorry you're here. Good luck to you.


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 804 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
Ashland13
Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Yes...I think and feel it's a fog of it's own, an unreality, perhaps, that our mind finds in order to handle things as they come.

So much shock.


Ashland 13

The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge


Posts: 1965 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I was a functioning zombie for at least the first two months after the last D-Day. It is normal, but will slowly start to fade as the shock wears off and your brain starts to come to terms with your new reality. I went through the motions of daily life and dealing with the upheaval, but really could not tell you exactly what I did as it is all very hazy. Time really does help so hang in there!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs, started 1994? - never stopped
Kids - 22, 20, 17
M Dissolved 2013!!!

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare


Posts: 828 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

((((ariabook)))) It is normal, or at least what passes for normal in these conditions. Hang in there.


You can call me NIK

There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss.
But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.
- Michael J. Fox


Posts: 22712 | Registered: Aug 2011
mof2
Member
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Totally normal. It is the brains way of helping you deal with the shock. Over the weeks ahead it will fade. Just hang in there!!!!


BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our anniversary.

Posts: 275 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 10