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New Beginnings
User Topic: Seriously, what do I do with wedding pics?
TLhurting
Member
Member # 25156
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Is it okay to just keep them in a cupboard until I can deal? It was a happy day for me, and frankly, there are a lot of family pictures I'd love to keep. It's just that ExWH is in them.

It's been 2 years and he's actually marrying the OW in a few weeks ( ) and it feels like it's time.


Posts: 360 | Registered: Aug 2009
lostmommy
Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I saved mine so that in case J wants to look at them when he's older he can. We were happy once, and I want him to see that.

((((TL))))


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I kept mine..from both marriages.

I figure it was apart of my life - just can't erase it.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2176 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I took a few of me with my family but gave the rest to FT in one of his boxes.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20383 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Put them in boxes out of sight. Seal them with duct tape. Then its sealed, can't get to them easy and its "away".

It might be tempting to toss or burn them in light of his upcoming new marriage ...but later on you might wish you had kept them.

(((((hugs)))


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I still have them, they are in the albums in a box. I will mess with it if and when I decide I want to. Otherwise, I won't.

It's your call TLH.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
cmego
Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I don't know what happened to mine...I left them all at the house when I moved out. I've never asked what he did with them.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4180 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Crescita
Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I just pared mine down a bunch whenever I was in a good mind frame to do so. I couldn't bring myself to toss the lot as there are pictures of people I care about in the mix. I'm not even sure where they are at the moment but the idea of them no longer upsets me.

Posts: 3445 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Dreamboat
Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I avoid them like the plague.

When X moved out I put them with his other shit. Then my parent's passed away and my sister gave all that they had -- and it was A LOT. When she gave them to me I pushed them away and said I didn't want them and she pushed them back and said that DD may want them someday. So I carted them home and set them in a corner and 4 years later that is where they sit. And oh yeah, the wedding dress -- same exact story. ugh


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17679 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
forced2moveon
Member
Member # 12014
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I saved mine for my kids. I have them in a photo box high on a shelf in my closet along with my wedding/engagement rings. I'll give them to my boys when they're older.

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Southern California
wildbananas
Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I too saved mine for the banana bunch. They never see their father and don't really like him, like, at all, but maybe they'll want them someday.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15413 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I kept a picture of me dancing with my father and a picture of my parents together. I gave the X his parents, a few others that I don't remember and one of him & his groomsmen; I told him maybe he could have my brother airbrushed out of it


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20278 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I kept mine. Last year, the guy that I was dating asked to see them, so we went through them and made fun of my 80's hair and my wxh's mullet. It was cathartic.

I'm glad that I kept them because those are the last pictures that I have of my grandparents.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I have everything in a box somewhere. At the time, I put them away and figured I would deal with them later. Later hasn't arrived yet.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
I.will.survive
Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I couldn't imagine throwing wedding pictures away! So many friends and relatives that are captured there.

I have ZERO desire to look at them and they are boxed up for my son who may one day be curious. Plus, I'm sure relatives will have passed on by then and having these memories will be a good thing.

Besides, the man I married is in those pictures. Not the man I divorced.


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I put them all in the attic and there they will stay, unless one of my kids wants them.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
vivere
Member
Member # 34465
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

Besides, the man I married is in those pictures. Not the man I divorced.

Brilliant!


You are responsible for your own happiness :)

Posts: 316 | Registered: Jan 2012
jjct
Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

My vain hope was in those pictures.
My dope.
Everybody here is so ahead of me I hope.

I cut them out with fined knife, to hide
my past lost picture's pain,

and fear though I lost picture's hope,
it will repeat again.

Nothing I can do will change the past.


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, August 27th (Tuesday)

I gave them all to the sad clown except for one group photo (it was a small wedding of 10) should the girls ever want to see it. It's put away where I'll never accidentally come across it.

My only regret is giving him any of me on my own because the fucker put one up "proudly on display for all who come into my home to see" according to him.

Oh so creepy.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, August 28th (Wednesday)

Keep them. Put them away somewhere you don't have to see them all the time. Keep them because if you have kids, they may some day want them. You are the mommy and your XH is their daddy, regardless.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7278 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

I gave all the photos of "us" to my XH. Engagement, wedding, vacations, etc.. I only kept photos of friends and my family from those years.

There is one photo of me from my honeymoon I wish I had kept, but XH wasn't in it and I only wanted it as proof that at one point I was kinda thin. (I was a size 14 on my honeymoon)


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

I left them at the marital home with XWH. If he wants to burn them or throw them out, that's on him. I kept all of our other photo albums since I'm the one who took about 98% of the pictures and then organized and labeled them. My kids have plenty of pictures to look at in those albums of us as a family, enjoying ourselves (that is, if XWH ever really was).

The wedding pics? I felt like the whole day was a hoax since XWH obviously never meant to honor any of those vows, so I didn't feel strongly about keeping those for the kids.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
TLhurting
Member
Member # 25156
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

Thank you all for your advice and stories. I'm in a good place now, they're in a box in the back of a cupboard. Sometimes I see the box and I feel like I should DO something. But I really don't have to.

Posts: 360 | Registered: Aug 2009
Topic Posts: 23