User Topic: Second thoughts about D?
Member # 39987
Frustrated  Posted: 9:36 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

I know I am still reeling from yesterdays events but I still feel so conflicted. I was reading all the information my lawyer shared with me about D in our state and child visitation guidelines. I got so overwhelmed thinking of all the crap I'm going to have to go through on top of all the poop I've already been through. Why couldn't he just get his crap together? This sucks! At one point I was actually questioning myself if what he has been doing was all that bad. Ugh!!!! Anyone else been here?

Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

I'm pretty sure most everyone goes there.

I know I posted a similar thread a few weeks/months into the process, and it was not the first such, nor the last.

You didn't make a rash decision to file. Don't make a rash decision to stop the process. You second-guess yourself because it's such a big thing.

But this is a case where you have to listen to your head, not your heart. Your head leads; your heart catches up.

Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5181 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)

IC, IC, IC. It takes a while to process it all. One step at a time.


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
Member # 35526
Default  Posted: 1:30 AM, August 29th (Thursday)

No matter the origin of the divorce, no matter how amicable or nasty the couple are - it is still a very very unpleasant process. You just can't get around that fact.

I just kept in mind that once the process is over then I would no longer be tied to this lying, deceiving, backstabbing, family-killing, worthless piece of adulterous shit.

Once I made the decision to file for divorce I knew that I NEEDED to get a divorce. She asked for reconciliation after that.

There had to be a consequence for what she did - and she got it.

I Divorced Her.

Posts: 363 | Registered: May 2012
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:27 AM, August 29th (Thursday)

Fear itself is often worse than that which you fear.

Fear is very common.

Part of the reason I landed in False R was fear of the unknown. Then I realised I feared the known much, much more.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 5