New Beginnings
User Topic: Stress & Aaah
Member # 7767
Shutup  Posted: 11:10 AM, August 29th (Thursday)

Not to be confused with Shock and Awe.

Ok, so in getting my house ready for sale I have maxed out 2 credit cards and started a 3rd. I'm paying the minimums on them until the house sells and then I should be able to pay most of them off. Plus I will be sharing expenses with SO since I moved in with him so that will cut my expenses in half.

Still, I feel like I have a big weight hanging over me. I am an anxious person under normal circumstances and take meds, but this additional stress is starting to get to me.

Today SO calls me at work to tell me that the clutch needs to be replaced in my motorcycle. Now I LOVE that motorcycle and it's given me a lot of pleasure and therapy. So I tell him that we can just let it set until I sell the house and can afford to get it fixed.

But he said No - he is going to pay for it. $600. Plus he is paying all the bills at his house because I'm still paying the bills at my house.

I'm so used to being independent that this is causing me all kinds of stress. He said that we are a couple now and that we take care of each other. I just hate feeling like I'm not carrying my weight financially.

He's a good man - I love him very much but I don't want to take advantage of his generous nature. I will pay him back somehow - probably when the house sells.



Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7736 | Registered: Aug 2005
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, August 29th (Thursday)


Sending super house selling mojo.

Posts: 35791 | Registered: Mar 2011
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, August 29th (Thursday)

~~~~~ HOUSE SELLING MOJO ~~~~~~~

coming your way Newlease!!!!

me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."

Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

house selling mojo!


He said that we are a couple now and that we take care of each other.
He's right, you know. Leaning on someone doesn't mean you are weak and dependent...

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52

Posts: 3205 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

He sounds like a true gentleman who loves you.

Relax into receiving care from a good man. There are a thousand ways you 'pay him back' besides counting out the dollars and cents.

He is asking you to let him care for you, don't make it all about paying him back because that attitude creates a block to his care. You know he feels good taking care of you. Don't deny him that.

He loves you and accepting his love is NOT taking advantage or being a leach.

BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5856 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

House selling mojo!!!!!

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 1:40 AM, August 30th (Friday)

Mojo sent

"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1358 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, August 30th (Friday)

Thanks Innerlight. I just have so much trouble accepting this because every other relationship I've been in, including XWH, was all about keeping track. It was like there was an invisible score board where every favor, monetary or not, was tallied.

I love this man so I'm trying to relax into his care. But it is not easy and it does not come naturally to me.


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7736 | Registered: Aug 2005
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, August 30th (Friday)

Mojo mojo mojo!!!

You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams

Posts: 25687 | Registered: Aug 2011
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

Sending you selling house mojo!

Btw, I am a licensed realtor, have lots experiences, if you need any advice, pm me I would like to help! Even tho we might not in the same states/ country. Good luck!

M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 177 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
Member # 30591
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, September 1st (Sunday)


Mucho MOJO + MOJO + MOJO = house sold.
I would do the same for you is his shoes!

to love and be loved is more than money!

I allow him to show you his love in that way.

Allow yourself to be loved by someone who is trying to show you how much he cares for you.

relax and enjoy love!!!

It really feels good, doesn't it?

my two cents

[This message edited by missherlots at 9:51 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]

Pain and suffering is part of life, but I choose to feel love and compassion for all people excluding no one.

Posts: 96 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 19595
Cool  Posted: 10:07 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

When you love someone and they love you, you have each other's back. Graciously let him cover your back and the time will come he'll need you to cover's his for awhile. You've been on your own for a long time NL but now you don't have to do it all alone. I couldn't be happier for you finding each other !
House selling MOJO !!!

It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20382 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Topic Posts: 12