SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
New Beginnings
User Topic: A love pentagon
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, August 29th (Thursday)

My co-worker teased me about me being in a love pentagon as compared to a love triangle.

In the last couple weeks, my life has become very frustrating.

EXH made it clear that he can't find anyone who compares to me and regrets losing me everyday.

EXSO said he would delete my contact information because he won't stop texting. Of course I still got a text last night.

EXSO friend who I leaned on while EXSO was scaring me with all of his anger filled texts and ones that made me think he was stalking me, says he accepts that I don't want to start something with him afterall because it is too difficult with EXSO being so hung up over the breakup and it just creates drama. (Plus, the guy borrowed $30 from me, total turnoff). But he keeps contacting me to do things as "friends".

And now I'm dating someone off OLD that I have really hit it off with. He is finally someone normal, but his divorce is stuff of the movies. Crazy stuff that before I was on SI I would think it was bizarre. He is dealing with a NPD ex and I think he's shocked how much I get it because of what I've learned on SI over the last 5 years. I realized that he really liked me after he told me because he mentioned that he didn't want me suprised in the future. Made me think he sees us going somewhere. He hid his profile on OLD (I did too, but just because of creep factor and I couldn't handle the people in my life plus the people on OLD that were creeping me out). I don't know where it's going, but right now, I'm intrigued by him.

[This message edited by tabitha95 at 11:59 AM, August 29th (Thursday)]


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
better4me
Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

so sorry you are being hit with a plague of locusts in the form of X's!

so happy that OLD guy seems normal and intriguing!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3209 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
ladies_first
Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Are you looking for quantity or quality?


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Quality. This is really not what I want. It is stressful and not fun.

I was a wife and mother and very content in my life. The d-day hit and nothing has been the same since.

I like the OLD guy, but I am so afraid of being played. I'm trying to just go with the flow, then I get texts from the other guys out of the blue that bug me. I have told EXSO to go NC several times. He drinks and then texts me. Sometimes it's all about the "i'll love you forever" and sometimes it's anger.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

You need to block EXSO. It's just confusing you.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7768 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Newlease
Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Block both of the Xs and go slow with OLD guy. Sounds like way too much drama - maybe you need some man-free time to just unwind.

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7740 | Registered: Aug 2005
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

I would like to block XSO. When you block someone on your phone, what happens on their end? Do they get told they are blocked or do they think the text went through?

I can't block EXH. We have two kids and we co-parent very well. He is the one with the confused feelings, not me. I don't trust him emotionally/romantically and that won't change. I trust him as my kid's father.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
purplejacket4
Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Not a pentagon. You are the hub of a wheel. These men are your spokes!


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Your xWH is suffering buyer''s remorse. He realizes that he made a bad choice. That''s not the same as being remorseful for his actions and how he destroyed your family. To get him to stand down, you are going to have to tell him that the door closed and it can''t be re-opened. That there is nothing he can do to regain your trust and make you desire a romantic relationship with him. Really, if it''s unwanted, you have to shut that shit down.

I agree, block the drunk texting EXSO. Drunk texting? Is he still in high school???

As for OLD guy. Just let him continue to show you who he is. Unless his divorce isn''t final and then you may want to re-think. Being in the midst of a crazy divorce might suck you into the drama and turn you into an escape from the craziness as opposed to choosing you because you''re the right fit for him (and you choosing him too of course).


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3122 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
tabitha95
Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

The OLD guy has been divorced longer than me. But he started the proceedings in 2007 and it took about 3 years to be over and there have been continued custody issues in court as of about a year ago.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

My only thought on new guy is just take it slow. Dating is layers - we reveal ourselves gradually - and at any point something could come up that is a dealbreaker. Or not. But be honest with yourself and take it slow.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 11