SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: DS's Quiet Patience
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

DS20 has not really said much about all the crap going on, but he finally did just say something to me that tells me his anger is still seething under the surface. POS is only communicating with DS and being ultra nice to him. DS is reciprocating. DS said he is not sure why his dad is only being nice to him. I told him I knew why and asked him if he wanted my opinion. He said yes. So I told him the truth, that POS was talking to him because POS thinks in his twisted mind that DS is "okay" with what he has done since he has not said anything about it and continues to be nice to his dad. DS said he figured as much. What POS does NOT know is that DS is only playing the patience game, much as I had to do to get POS to sign the dissolution papers, because he is trying to get some of the "toys" officially signed over to him in writing. DS knows POS will pull back on these "gifts" if he goes off on his dad. DS said POS has also been on some fishing expeditions for info, but he sees it for what it is and is not biting. DS said as soon as he gets what he needs from POS he will tell him what he REALLY thinks about his shitty behavior. I told DS I was sorry he was put in this position, but he was handling it well. He said he now understands exactly what I have been dealing with over the past few months in terms of biting his tongue with POS.

POS has NO idea that the only child still talking to him, his adored son, is only biding his time patiently before he unleashes his wrath. POS also mentioned to DS that he understood the girls were angry at him. Ya think? Possible understatement of the year, perhaps? He is still so in denial about the devastating effects his behavior has had on the M and the family, and even when DS goes off I don't think it will sink in. He will just write us all off and move on. Fine with me, but I am truly heartsick for the kids for having such an unfeeling, uncaring bastard for a father.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1120 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
gma56
Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

I think it's under rated how D/S and infidelity effects young adult kids.

Does DS have access to IC ? Altho I think him telling Dad exactly how he feels is a good thing for him.

Fine with me, but I am truly heartsick for the kids for having such an unfeeling, uncaring bastard for a father.
Many of us here feel the same way about the WS and the damage to the kids.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20375 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

Does DS have access to IC?

DS is in the military, and I have encouraged him to seek it out, but it is doubtful he will do so.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1120 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Topic Posts: 3