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Reconciliation
User Topic: the stage I am in now
ionlytalkedtoher
Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

For some time, I was encompassed by grief. This lasted for months. I know the 180 says to act detached and not gloomy around your spouse...but thats so hard. I was in a deep depression for many months. It wasn't my intention for the depression to be some sort of weapon, but in the end, my husband said he ended everything because of my depression. He said he woke up one day and realized that he crushed my soul. My soul was gone. He kept saying...and so that started his reconciliation.

But after a a month of moving forward I just don't care anymore. I am in a new phase, but I am not sure what. Maybe this is true detachment? I don't feel like making an effort anymore. I am not giving up but I just feel so tired and beaten up like I was in a battle.

I see posts of people like on facebook and blogs where they talk about how great their marriage is how great their husbands are and I just empty. I don't comment and just wonder why their marriage worked out so well.


Posts: 264 | Registered: Jul 2013
unfound
Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, August 29th (Thursday)

There can come a time when our brains, our souls, just have to shut down in a sort of self protective/need of rest phase. It all just gets too much, even depression is too much and we need nothingness, decompression, levelness with no up, no down, just being.

It sucks, but then again, it's kinda meh, so it doesn't even suck.. it just *is*.

Don't get stuck there though. The emotions are there, and will need to be addressed at some time when you're mentally able. If you find you're getting stuck there, then you might want to seek some kind of help to get out of it.


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14861 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, August 30th (Friday)

Sounds like the plain of lethal flatness. I think that is where I am at too. I'm just exhausted. I don't check and verify because I don't care. It's hard for me to be happy about anything lately.

I'm sorry (((ionlytalkedtoher)))


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
1ost0ne
Member
Member # 40202
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, August 30th (Friday)

I see posts of people like on facebook and blogs where they talk about how great their marriage is how great their husbands are ... just wonder why their marriage worked out so well.

Don't believe everything that you read/see is true. I thought I was living in one of those "American Dream" families. Great kids, cars, house, vacations, jobs, etc. Unbeknownst to everyone except the WW, she was hiding an A and skyping herself all over the internet.


“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou

Posts: 84 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 4