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Just Found Out
User Topic: I got sneaky and nasty...
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, August 30th (Friday)

So....let me start by saying I have laid out my boundaries and moved into our spare room. I am also 180 hard. He was initially remorseful and wanted to know what He needed to do to get me to move back into our room and make things right. I laid it all out, TT, NC,IC and MC. He booked an IC same day and called her to say NC. I was hopeful but still hesitant. I don't actually know if he kept IC appoint he claims yes and did tell me some things IC said, such as this "friend is not a good idea". And proceeded to assure me he is NC. He has a habit of gas-lighting and just getting sneakier so you can understand my hesitation in believing. My WH is very angry about my initial snooping of his phone which is what gave me the proof of EA, so he always says to me if you check my phone and see this message it's such and such sending stupid stuff....meaning guys he works with. He doesn't let his phone out of his possession much so I don't have many opportunities and in fact haven't had access in at least 10 days.

Well....last night and this am phone was lying on counter so I checked it. You can all guess what I found. New chatty texts from OW asking things that if NC she wouldn't know like how the work party he was having at our house was going last eve. This AM she asked twice if he was stoping by today.

Soooo, here is where I got sneaky and kinda nasty. I took pictures of texts for evidence for later, and then deleted them all and any evidence of her conversation before he could see. He is not really tech savvy so when she gives him shit, he will swear he never got them, she is just tech savvy enough that she will tell him he is lying and try to prove to him. I know my WH he will not take kindly to being told he doesn't know what he is talking about, she does not know him well enough to know this....can we all say trouble in paradise. Things are gonna get ugly.

NEVER mess with a scorned wife who is still extremely pissed off and is determined to keep her marriage. especially one who knows her WS so well that she can honestly say at this point he is just being a big naive stubborn idiot! He will ask me if I know anything and I will innocently look at him and say " you know I don't touch your phone after you got so angry about me snooping ".

I love these bitch boots, love 180 and although I know it is sneaky and nasty, I love making trouble for him and OW

Sorry about the length of this post...but I had to share.


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
krazy8516
Member
Member # 40076
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Awesome!

You're very calm for someone who JFO your WH is lying to you still. Honestly, if my H was still being pissy about me "snooping" it would be over.

Keep us updated!


me: BW, 30
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day

married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m

"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."


Posts: 368 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Texas
RyeBread
Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Sounds like the NC and TT boundaries you layed down have just been crossed. How will you be addressing that with your WH?


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1019 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, August 30th (Friday)

I would of sent her a loving text to my wife that "accidentally" got sent to her. Then deleted it.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3743 | Registered: Dec 2011
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, August 30th (Friday)

I am calm...when I get really angry I get very calm and methodically plot my revenge. It takes allot to get me to this point but once I am there I am not someone you want to mess with. I never physically hurt anyone, I just like to mess with people's minds and reality, nothing illegal just harmless meddling that causes problems for you.

I will eventually address the violation of rules I set down...that is why I took pictures. I just want to mess with everyone for a bit and let things blow up a bit first. I need a little fun in my life right now. I am amassing evidence such as pictures of his truck at her place and now the texts. Confronting at each violation isn't working so I am playing hard ball. Will compile evidence let him play the loving husband and try to win me out of 180. Play with them both anonymously as much as I can and grin deep inside. When I am ready I will lay it all out and give him an ultimatum and if he argues the next stop is the lawyers office.

I thought about texting her but I know my WH he is a big stubborn naive idiot that at times is like a 2 yr old about this situation. If I text or call her I know he will just take it as a challenge and contact just to spite me. This is where we are in this right now. I don't want him to know I am messing with him or her.

I am 180 hard so he is getting a taste of being single. I won't do laundry or cook meals he wants. I don't run errands for him and left him to deal with the work party he had last night
( it was all guys and I would normally have made appetizers and extra food and got the yard all cleaned up for him...poor baby had to get everything ready himself). He complained and asked me why I was being like this, I told him...you get to put yourself first all the time especially thinking you deserve your new " friend", well guess what since the person in my life who is supposed to make me #1 has chosen to make someone else a priority, I have to take care of myself! Then I walked away!

These bitch boots fit great, I don't know if I will ever take them off!


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
k9lover1
Member
Member # 8531
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, August 30th (Friday)

He can't ask you about the texts because there is supposed to be NC.

[This message edited by k9lover1 at 1:04 PM, August 30th (Friday)]


D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late.

Posts: 8090 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: Wisconsin
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, August 30th (Friday)

I see nothing wrong with a little mind fucking while you get your evidence together.

Love it!

However..you saw the texts..broken NC..and they've clearly been meeting in person. So the affair is continuing. Those texts were more than enough evidence..no?

Unless you're pretty much done,and just want to fuck with them. In which case,you have my full support.

Im sorry he's being a complete POS. You deserve far better.

((((emotionalgirl))))


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7138 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
ajsmom
Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, August 30th (Friday)

IMO, you would have been much better off to have confronted him with the solid evidence you had, then brought down the hammer of the consequence of broken NC (if you have any) and go from there.

My guess? He tries to see her to see the texts that she sent.

Chances are, he'll just take things underground if he figures out you're messing with him.

Trust me, most of them do go underground.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, August 30th (Friday)

What will happen is WH will say
" someone" texted him and he didn't receive the texts. He won't tell me it was her, he will try to get me to help him figure out what is wrong with his phone. Trust me I have dealt with this man for 25 yrs. this is what will happen lol.

I am just not ready to confront and need more time to get life's ducks in a row sooooo although I am pretty much done and am living in our spare room. He is "playing" at being the devoted H. Doing stuff around the house, bringing flowers etc. I just say thanks and go on about my business.

I am just enjoying 180 and getting my ducks in a row....I can't walk away for quite awhile yet (personal reasons I can't explain). I want to amass a pile of evidence just for the dramatic display at the end, it will give e pleasure to lay it all out and watch his face. I just want to mind fuck with them both for awhile for my own fun and enjoyment!


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
hemademesingle
Member
Member # 21281
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, August 30th (Friday)

IMO, I would have confronted,

I think what you are doing has the potential to backfire

What happens if playing this little mind game, actually makes them bond even more, once the truth comes out,


Posts: 373 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Canada
Skan
Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, August 30th (Friday)

^^^ If the only reason that she''s staying right now is to settle personal and financial business, who cares if they bond tighter? Me, if I had made up my mind that enough was enough, I''d get some of my own back too, if the opportunity arose. But then, I never played a nice person on TV or anywhere else!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4585 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Word to the wise: Our
Plan A's seldom work out. If we don't have a Plan B in mind we're setting ourselves up for a very hard, face-first landing on the concrete. You are playing with fire. Hope you have a flame-proof suit.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9286 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
k94ever
Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Dear Em,

Be prepared for the OW to purchase a secret phone for your WS to use to contact her.

The affair isn't over.

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6453 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Well my anger got the better of me....she kept texting and as I have never spoken to or confronted her, I sent her a text back letting her know that she is a dirty little secret and how does that feel and many other things. I got kind of nasty. She responded just as nastily...it got kind of ugly. My WH does not know yet, he is asleep so will confront when he wakes up. This might blow up in my face completely, but right noe I just don't care. We live like room mates right now and have for awhilr and he is making no effort to consider my feelings in this. Unless he chooses to put me first and go NC I am done. I won't live wondering if she is always getting the secrets and the real conversations in our marriage.

Time to shit or get off the pot....


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
brokenblackbird
Member
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Unless he chooses to put me first and go NC I am done. I won't live wondering if she is always getting the secrets and the real conversations in our marriage.

Gently... She already is getting this. You know this. You have seen multiple text evidence and his truck in her parking lot.


Posts: 725 | Registered: Sep 2010
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 6:46 PM, August 30th (Friday)

First of all, thankyou all for your support and i apologize for the length of this post. I just feel the need to clear some things up. Sometimes in my crazy babbling I don't give all the facts. So here they are....aug 16 was the last time I found his truck outside her place. I confronted he ignored me. A day later he tells me he has spoken to his IC who told him that what I am saying is correct and that this friendship is not healthy for our marriage. He swore he was going NC and that he understood. I decided to 180 anyway and moved into our spare room on the Monday. He begged and cried asked what he needed to do to make it right. I stated my limits and boundaries also laid out what he needed to do to work towards R, but I stood my ground and stayed 180 hard core.

Although he has been the perfect spouse in respect to no cell after work( he turns it off) and has been home every night but one of which I investigated due to doubts and have proof of where he was and who he was with. So he has not seen her since the 16 th I have proof of that. I knew the asshat hadn't cut all contact but was just waiting in stealth for the proof.

Last night he had a big work BBQ at our house ( I did not help at all which really distressed him). His cell was sitting in the house ( it is usually locked in his truck, off, or glued to his hip). The texts start and they did not stop. It was very obvious from the content that he had been in recent contact by text or phone. I just made the instant choice to mind fuck with them to see what happened for better or worse ( I have come to terms with the fact that R may never happen and am ok with it. Just not walking away right now for my own reasons so figured what the hell...worst case, it drives him closer to her and I have my total answer). Kept deleting until the last text...which said "why haven't you gotten back to me? I need to know what our plans are and if we are going fishing tomorrow?" I lost it..we have family visiting in town and got invited to my in laws cottage to spend the weekend.

WH had asked if I could put things aside and take boat to the cottage with him to visit on sat. I agreed to be civil as we have not informed families what is going on. The invitation from family came at the beginning of week and WH asked me this yesterday..so obviously he had asked her before he remembered the invite and asked me. This just pushed every button and I lost it.

I sent her a text from his phone stating that he would be spending the weekend with his wife and that she needed to stop interfering in my marriage and trying to lure a married man and suggested she find a single boyfriend. The conversation got nasty on her part, I remained calm and stated the facts of her behaviour, she called me a bitch told me if I was taking him for granted that she would make sure he had comfort.

He was asleep through the whole thing. When he woke up I told him what I had done and showed him the texts. I have always maintained that my WH is a naive idiot who didn't get her intentions, she needed a friend and made him feel good so he thinks all is ok. The look on his face was priceless as he read the texts. Then....trickle truth started. The whole story, how she needs a friend and makes him feel needed. He swore NC but instead had just texted her and said the couldn't see each other in person for awhile and could still be text friends. How he thought I was crazy thinking she had bad intentions and he couldn't walk away from a female in need of a friend.

I told him...you have proof of her intentions, and she is obviously more important than our marriage. Asked why he would want to keep a friendship with someone who honestly says their intention is to make him her own. Told him to think hard and if he wants her to go ahead, he can't have us both. He cried , thanked me for exposing the issue and told me that as of that minute the friendship is over. I asked for NC text he refused stating that she won't believe it is from him would likely think it is me and that she is likely so angry that she won't text him anymore anyway.
I told him that I predict a text in a couple of days saying what a bitch I am and how she doesn't understand why he is with me...sympathizing and trying to maintain relationship. He will not accept a secret cell from her I know as that would be the ultimate proof she is up to no good and a bad person and he just does not believe that of her. He maintained until he saw my text conversation that she was just a friend and wouldn't hurt his marriage like that.

I told him that I don't believe that he will stay no contact at all and that once she starts texting he will automatically respond. Advised him to speak with his IC about the whole thing and see what his opinion is. He begged me to trust him and to put our marriage back where it was. I told him I am so far from trusting him I don't know if I can ever get it back.

Staying 180 hard...but will ease up a bit so I can spend weekend with family I love, then back to as it is right now. Don't know if we will ever reach a point of R and at this point I am ok either way. I love him, don't want to loose 25 yr marriage and am willing to work together to make it strong but it is all up to him. We are living like roommates right now anyway and I can't walk away right now for reasons I don't want to get into. If he chooses to put me first and fight for our marriage then great if not then his loss!

Still wearin my bitch boots....still angry, but a bit melancholy too. I am not feeling very hopeful at this point so just putting in time and making sure my ducks will all be in a row when it all comes crashing down as I am pretty sure it will at this point. I will be completely prepared. I am totally realistic in this situation.

Thanks all for letting me vent and set the facts straight. And thanks for all your kind and wise words.

[This message edited by emotionalgirl at 6:54 PM, August 30th (Friday)]


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Emotionalgirl....you are wearing bunny slippers. Not bitch boots.

Bitch boots would have made him send an NC text regardless of his protestations or crocodile tears.

EG, this guy does NOT have your back.

You keep 'lying in wait' for him to fuck up....then he does....and what are his consequences? You give him a stern *talking to*, he cries and acts as if what you are telling him is some kind of Holy Grail....and then he continues contact with her. Lather.Rinse.Repeat.

I have a feeling that he's not as naive and stubborn as you are saying that he is. He's playing you.

And food for thought....the 'stubborn' thing is bugging me. Are you saying that he's continuing to remain in contact with OW because he's stubborn??? Let me ask you something....does it sound like a good idea for a WS to dig their heels in over contact with an OW that is most likely going to cause the marriage to implode? If he is THAT invested in is stubborn 'power play', then you need to cut the line on him. He is not 'partner' material.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7696 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Gonna be....I can't walk out and cut the line right now for reasons I don't care to get into. My marriage is going to implode I know this and have pretty much resigned myself to it. What I mean by wearing bitch boots is I am not giving him anything in the way of trust or my time other than this situation and the exception this weekends with the family. No one can know that I have been this mans devoted slave for 25 yrs all he ever has to do is cut the grass once a week( we were quite old fashioned in that respect) all I asked for was love honesty and to be treated like a princess ( he used to do that) now I am doing nothing, I cook for me, do my laundry and take care of my responsibilities. He has taken to begging to get me to at least clean the house ( the kitchen and my bedroom/BR and the sitting room where I spend my time are clean, he is also begging that I return to our bedroom. I just ignore him. I do not speak with him about anything other than today's conversation and the discussion about the weekend. If you really new what my life was like prior to this, trust me you would know that from my perspective I am wearing bitch boots...even my IC and BF can't believe what a bitch I have become with this situation. There was no point in forcing a NC when I know from my conversation with this woman that she won't honour and he will break it. I am literally biding my time watching and waiting gathering evidence until I can walk away if it comes to that. I know that he will not sign D papers when and if I file because he is so sure he is doing nothing wrong and claims I am still the love of his life. I will need to be able to say that if I was the love of his life why did he let this woman become more important than our marriage. Thanks for listening!


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, August 30th (Friday)

You keep 'lying in wait' for him to fuck up....then he does....and what are his consequences? You give him a stern *talking to*, he cries and acts as if what you are telling him is some kind of Holy Grail....and then he continues contact with her. Lather.Rinse.Repeat.

Exactly. I lived this hellish Groundhog's Day over & over. I always bought into the tears & remorse. Got me every ding dong time. I was such a sucker.

Keep trying, Hon.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9286 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, August 30th (Friday)

I have been this mans devoted slave for 25 yrs all he ever has to do is cut the grass once a week( we were quite old fashioned in that respect) all I asked for was love honesty

Change the 25 to 20, and I've BTDT. (except that hmy stbx'x delegated his 'grass cutting' responsibility to our son.....so WH didn't even have to do THAT!)

There was no point in forcing a NC when I know from my conversation with this woman that she won't honour and he will break it. I am literally biding my time watching and waiting gathering evidence until I can walk away if it comes to that.

An NC text from your WH has nothing to do with OW. It is your WH's *start* to show you that he is serious about working on the marriage and re-committing to the partnership.

The biggest eye-opener for me throughout all of this was how stbx reacted when I stopped performing *my* duties and being a *yes, dear* wife. I KNOW what a huge step it is to stop *doing* in your marriage and I didn't mean to discount the steps that you've implemented already. I just know how much worse it can get.....

I know that he will not sign D papers when and if I file

Doesn't matter. He has no choice. You cannot be held hostage in a marriage against your will.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7696 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Gemini71
Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Hey, I understand. I have very supportive friends and family who can't understand why I don't just D my WH. Maybe I will D him eventually, but I'll come to that decision when I'm ready for it.

You're the only one who knows what's really right for you, and if messing with their text messages amuses you, go for it.

Good job taking pics of the messages for later use. I know how hard it is to think rationally when one discovers that the WH lied...again.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1539 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
5454real
Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Can I ask what your understanding of the 180 is?

IMO, it's a tool for you, not to get him to act in any certain way. Use it to clear your head, not to get him to come a'begging.

Please re-read it. Use it for you! This douchebag doesn't deserve the time of day from you yet.

Strength


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2549 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Thanks for the support everyone... I have been a major codependant for many years. My IC suggested a version of 180 that was easier for me to manage and deal with. I am not using this as a way to wake him up, nothing is going to wake him up. although i do feel the need to occassionally point out the error of his ways. I am using 180 as a way to no longer be a codependant slave to a WS who doesn't give a shit. It is really hard for me with my past history. I am actually much stronger than I was 3 weeks ago, I hired a personal trainer, started going for massages to deal with my tmj and going out in the evenings with friends.

Our whole marriage I was home to meet and greet after a 9 hr work day, with a meal on the table, never did anything to take care of just me and only went out with friends if he wasn't going to be home ( he didn't like to be home alone poor baby). I no longer wash his laundry, run his errands or do things for him. I also no longer initiate texts during the day or conversations when we are home Considering all of this I am seriously 180 for me and only me, mainly for my sanity and because my IC felt I was approaching a breakdown if I didn't look after my needs.

I am pretty sure this marriage is going to reach its end at some point, just not until I am ready...too many ducks out of alignment yet and like I said reasons I don't want to get into. If I can mess with their heads a bit for my amusement while getting my shit together....well...fun for me!

Thanks again everyone... Every comment makes me think and proces things a bit differently in my head


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
gonnabe2016
Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, August 30th (Friday)

too many ducks out of alignment yet and like I said reasons I don't want to get into. If I can mess with their heads a bit for my amusement while getting my shit together....well...fun for me

No.
Get your ducks in alignment.....and THEN start messing with them, if that is your desire.
You haven't said *why* you need to remain in your marriage right now, but if it's because of something really important (financial, health)......then the way you are handling things right now is playing with fire. Because what if your WH gets fed up, thows you out and cuts you off financially?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7696 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Okay. We're making great progress! You brought up the c-word. So, I have some books to suggest:

Codependent No More
The New Codependent

Melody Beattie

Boundaries in Marriage
Cloud & Townsend

And because being codependent isn't a spontaneous condition:
The Inner Child Workbook: What to do with your past when it won't go away
Cathryn Taylor

These books, IC and SI changed my life.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9286 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:25 PM, August 30th (Friday)

I wonder why you keep characterizing your husband as "naive." He isn't being haplessly led astray by a conniving OW. He is a willing participant in an ongoing betrayal, unwilling to even engage in the bare minimum of post d-day reparations.

His behavior is HIS to own. He may not be technically savvy, but he's no naif. It's time to at least hold HIM fully accountable in your own mind.

(Edited for spelling.)

[This message edited by solus sto at 12:43 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8326 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:51 AM, August 31st (Saturday)

Gonna & Solus, I wonder if eg's WH is playing the dumb card. Mine did that. He'd play absent-minded professor, therefore I'd project on him the innocence I wanted for him and make excuses for his behavior. Since I wasn't capable of fucking up that much AND appearing as remorseful / forgetful / wrongly accused / innocent as he did, then it must be true that he simply was mistaken, he just didn't know, he forgot, he didn't realize, he didn't mean to...

I had no idea that there are people out there who ARE that deceptive. Who can twist reality so well. I had no idea that *I* was capable of being fooled & played like that. Heck, I didn't want to admit that I had been fooled & played. THAT would have been yet another major blow to my ego, to finally admit that I had been used & fooled, that it was *I* who was the idiot, not STBX.

Maybe emotionalgirl is wrestling with the same demons. EG, what do you think?


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9286 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
hemademesingle
Member
Member # 21281
Default  Posted: 6:50 AM, August 31st (Saturday)

EG protect yourself emotionally, get yourself protected financially.

I understand the co-dependency issue's, mine couldn't be alone either, I know I hoped for many years that mine would some how become "normal",the reality was that he actually became worse as he aged,

Is your WH in counselling?

You know your WH, is he really as naive as you say,mine wore a lot of different faces,depended on the situation and people he was with, I used to call mine something but it wasn't the nice word naive,to me naive means innocence, the actions of mine were pure manipulation, or is it an act for you so that you take over and do things for him, the old "I don't know how to do laundry" when the reality is they ruin something, then say they just can't get it so you take over and do it all,

If your strong enough to play with their heads, and are having fun sitting back watching the fall out,and your gaining pleasure, and not causing yourself any extra stress or pain, then all I can say is they shouldn't have started playing a game with you if they didn't want you to play too,

I can't stress enough to protect your heart and your finances,

Keep up the good work with the IC, that's what helped me gain my strength and finally stand up for myself and say enough is enough


Posts: 373 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Canada
whattheh
Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, August 31st (Saturday)

Since your WH has said he is in NC then he should be willing to change his cell number. That will let her know with no more communication to her that there will be no more contact. He should be willing to delete any email accounts. And he should be totally transparent and let you "coown" his phone and email meaning full access.

He does sound like he is manipulating you in a huge way. Going forward maybe he can share the housework with you. He's obviosly got too much time on his hands...

He is conspiring with her against you so he does not have your back.

[This message edited by whattheh at 8:57 AM, August 31st (Saturday)]


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 482 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
realitybites
Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, August 31st (Saturday)

Yep. I mine is very good at playing the dumb/naive card. I fell for it our whole marriage. I would hear things like "But RB you do it so much better, you can do it faster, I am not very good at doing this can you help?" etc, etc, etc....and it worked right into my own "I can fix it" type of mentality.

So after 23 years I felt what a dumb ass I was married to and he was using me to be wife and mother at home while he was out being "fabulous" for other people. He needs me all right, just to make his life look good.

You are onto the very thing that is the cruxt of it all, the CoDep issue. Keep working on it. It will take a crowbar some days to get thru to you but each day you will have a "what the fuck!" moment and not believe you did everything you did to keep going a pretty shitty and one sided relationship.


Posts: 5610 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, August 31st (Saturday)

Hi everyone....trust me when I say my WH is naive. He is the guy who believes that the guy begging for cash in front off the liquor store really does want money for food and then gets mad when he gives him 20$ and he walks straight into the liquor store. He just believes that no one can be up to no good and that everyone has the best of intentions. He always says I am a pessimist...I argue back I am a realist. It was something I always loved about him, now it is what is hurting us the most...his belief that this woman wouldn't do anything to hurt our marriage, she wants to see him happy with me

He came to me late last night and offered to have his phone cut off, since he needs it for him to obtain work when he is on layoff I told him that he couldn't do that but that changing his phone number would go a long way toward showing me he was sincere also told him that prior to switch of number I was sending a NC text that I wrote and he could read and push send to the OW. He agreed . He is already seeing IC. But I am not willing to meet half way unless he continues to see IC and told him so. He really is not tech savvy....I set up all of his email and computer account and set all of his passwords so I have always had access. Most of the time he can't figure out how to get onto hotmail to check it and screws up something on the computer which I have to fix.

I am very fortunate to have full control of our money, WH sucks at money management and admits it. He has an account which I have access to and keep topped up with money and a credit card in his name, billing comes to me and I make sure it is paid from his pay check. I also have an enduring POA as when he travelled allot for work he often could not get to a bank or fax to sign Importent papers and I wanted to be protected if he got seriously hurt.

My IC has helped me realize my co-dep and given me books to read. I have pulled back a ton and she says I am doing really well when I tell her the steps I have taken.

Meanwhile....I am actually a stronger person in many ways that most realize, my life made me that way....and it is just so much fun to mind fuck with people sometimes that I can't help myself. In all likely hood I am heading for D so why not have fun along the way if I don't I may loose my mind!


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
movingforward13
Member
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

Your posts are very confusing. You keep saying you are headed to divorce but your actions show different.

In any event, I hope you are right and he is just naive. I am a BS with a WS that played dumb for as long as he could get away with it.
Now we are divorcing and I told him to talk to me like an adult if he wants any conversation from me and magically, he is on the road to adulthood. Not enough to save our marriage but enough that we can co-parent.

They get away with all that we allow them to. Keep us update on his progress.


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 636 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, September 1st (Sunday)

Soooo.....I had sent the nasty text and came out of it looking like the better person. He was distressed by her answers and behaviour, said it was over but refused to send NC text. I predicted to him that given 24 hrs she would be texting him saying I was a bitch and how sorry she felt for him having to live with me etc etc. he said she isn't like that, was always just a friend I can't believe she responded the way she did blah blah blah. I figured if he was defending her then this A would just continue. Although I really didn't want to walk away at this time for may personal reasons, I thought long and hard through that night. I had made up my mind to let the chips fall where they may and if he chose her side I had called my GF to see if I could stay with her for awhile...I just finally reached a wall.

We spent the day with family yesterday and I had his phone all day. Well, holy hell can I call em or what she starts texting about noon. I am a horrible bitch, why does he even want to be married to me. Why doesn't he just walk away, he says we have problems anyway. Isn't he happier being with her, they could have more than a friendship if he leaves his miserable wife.... And on and on. I showed him the texts when we finally got home. He was shocked!

I have always said he was naive...well he texts her back." How can you be like this, I thought you were my friend, I told you all my marital problems and I thought you wanted to help. " she texts back
"wow you are so naive why would I want to help a great catch like you stay with your wife? I thought we could be great together and if I sympathized enough, when you realized what a bitch she is and that your marriage sucked, I could be here to console and we could have a great relationship".

He lost it.... Texted her " how could you be such a manipulative bitch, I trusted you, thought you were my friend. Friends don't do shit like that". She texts back " yea well happily married men don't lie and sneak around on their wife for someone they say is just a friend. I was just taking advantage of what you were doing to get a great guy for my self...no harm no foul"

He proceeded to send her a very nasty reply that ended with loose my number, forget my name and don't ever try to make contact or talk to me again! He then deleted her number and all her info and all her texts.

He cried and begged me to forgive his stupidity. We talked until 3am and I think I finally have the whole truth. I asked some very hard questions regarding time lines etc and got some very hard answers. I explained that i don't trust him and wont for a long time and that I am going to continue sleeping in the spare room. I am also not going Back to being his 24 hr on call slave. There has to be some changes if he really wants to save this marriage and it is going to take allot of work to repair my hurts. This morning HE got up called our 24hr EFAP line and made an appointment for a MC.

Score one for a BS.....just maybe I might end up in R after all 😶 only time will tell.


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
million tears
Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

In your first post you mentioned that he was having an EA. I believe it's more than that by his actions (his truck at her house, planning to meet, etc) He can call it a friendship all he wants but it's not. It sounds like, even though he has promised to do everything right, he is still lying to you. Until you get the whole truth, you can't believe anything he says. They have ways of contact even if you have all passwords. Get a lawyer and at least see what your options are, even though you aren't ready to split.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1610 | Registered: Jun 2009
niaveone
Member
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

Sounds to me like it was a planned fight to make you think they weren't going to continue. You "called it", but sounds like he told her what you thought was going to happen and she delivered so he could "break it off with her".

The last post sounds very fishy and contrived to me. Be cautious.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 16 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 193 | Registered: Aug 2013
sinsof thefather
Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

The last post sounds very fishy and contrived to me. Be cautious


I felt the exact same thing. It sounded very scripted to me too. Be watchful that it wasn't a set up.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1837 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
sammie
Member
Member # 7785
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, September 2nd (Monday)

Yep. Count me as another one who immediately thought SET UP!

They are suckering you in while they get THEIR ducks in a row!

And I betchya ANYTHING he has a new and secret phone.


If someone loves you, it should feel like they love you.
Never give more of yourself than you are getting back.

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places." ~Ernest Hemingway


Posts: 5818 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: Australia
invictus
Member
Member # 21623
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, September 2nd (Monday)

Take a look at your relationship and think about where you will be in two weeks. Will it just be more of the same crap, or will it REALLY have changed?

Then think a year down the timeline; two, three...

Decide whether you really want to be this boy's "Mama" and policewoman, or whether you want a partner to walk beside you through life.

Get into some couples counseling. I hope you can work things out so that you have the best possible future, whether it is together or apart.

Make a list of what YOU want for YOUR future and see whether or not he really belongs in it.

All the best to you!


♥ One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz

Posts: 1862 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Texas
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

The last post sounds very fishy and contrived to me. Be cautious
Yes. This is my bet, too.

And given the truck in the driveway, I'm not buying "naive EA" either.

Being non-savvy with technology does not make one immune to infidelity.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8326 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
NeverAgain2013
Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

I'm with the last 5 or 6 posters.

That whole phoney baloney text 'fight' was a complete set up. It's a bit ridiculous that your husband got all incredulous that his 'friend' isn't Pollyanna of Sunnybrook Farm. I mean really, who do these two think they're kidding?

It's been nothing but lies and sneaking and cheating and they want you to suddenly believe they're only 'buddies' and he's 'shocked' at her manipulative, underhanded and diabolical plot to try to steal such a married 'catch?'

Lordy.

Seriously, these two are pathetic.

It's one thing to be 'naive' and believe the bum in front of the liquor store is really going to buy food with the $20 he gave him. It's quite another to sneak and lie and cheat and try to pretend he's innocent and to naive to know he was being led down the garden path by Curella Duville.

I ain't buying it.

Sorry, emotionalgirl.

Don't trust these two. They'll yank the rug right out from under your feet.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1566 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
MediumRare
Member
Member # 35128
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Hi emotionalgirl!
Wow, I haven't followed your situation lately but you are in soo much better position now than when you got here. You went from begging him to come back and taking his excuses to now moved into the spare room and working on the 180 + bitch boots. Good job!

Forgive the 2x4's from us BS's as you have come a very, very long way! Just us BS's learned over time that the more firm you are and the faster you can go total 180, the better. A WS will quickly wiggle a 1/4 inch into a mile giant chasm, so it's important to seal-up any loose seams in your 180!

Some things to think about-
* There is no reason why you do not OWN his phone the moment he walks in the door. Also, see if you can log into his plan to recover or log all texts since he is likely just deleting ones he gets during the day. TOTAL TRANSPARENCY = TOTAL TRANSPARENCY. Accept nothing less! THEN set a boundary if he continues to break NC, such as him moving out or tougher consequences to protect you.
* There shouldn't be any more "work BBQ's" or family outings for his rotten ass while he's still carrying on with his whore.
* Don't believe his innocent banter. He's getting something from this whore just as much as she is. She's pumping his ego and libido. I'd can guarantee there has been light PA, sorry to say.
* 180 also means stop giving a shit entirely for your WS. (My SGAS in my sig was my "Stop Giving a Shit" day). i.e. next time he breaks NC, tell him to go to his whore- she can have him! He's no longer welcome in the marital home!

Also, you might want to pick yourself up a copy "Not Just Friends" since this can help you try to understand his dynamic in this situation. It is like fairy tale/unicorns farting rainbows in these EA's. Hence why the 180 is most effective since sometimes the WS moves in with the AP and the first time they stink up the toilet or leave the seat up, the fantasy starts to shatter. A few farts, belches or sleeve-mouth wipes and before you know it, EA is over.

The other thing is- please focus on YOU! The best part of the 180 is what you are doing for YOU! I'd love to start hearing about new gym membership, or buying some new things for yourself, or reconnecting with "the girls" and going out for lunch/cocktails, etc. etc. Anything that brings you joy and illustrates you are rebuilding your life.. WITHOUT... HIM... IN.. IT. This is what also shocks a WS back into the game.

Take care and good luck!

[This message edited by MediumRare at 1:03 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)]


BS (ME): 44
WS(HER): 42
9 years
OM#1- 20-something loser, stole bunch of my things after she had sex with him in our bed (no condoms, STDs)
OM#2- 24 year old, unemployed loser, lives with mom & dad
DDay 1/2012
NC 3/20/2012
SGASDay 4/1/2012

Posts: 712 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: California
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Thanks for the replys everyone....especially you medium rare, the positive comments made me feel great. So here is a major update...it has been a very interesting few days.

My WH is in apparent repent mode. He has booked further IC for himself and He booked a MC session for us ( he did ask if I would go with him and I agreed) we have 24x7 access to counselling. when I demanded TT he agreed. I now have a text copy program on his phone he is not aware of, so all texts copy to me... And his phone is mine the minute he walks through the door. He MUST carry cell at all times and answer when I call or call me within 5 min if not during work hours. There is a tracker on his phone which he is not aware of. He never spent money other than extra liquor on OW And they never went anywhere but her apartment other than one day out fishing that I know about. I have access to all bank records and credit card records and he never carries cash. I also recieve his pay stub every thursday always have. She is on workman comp for a job that earns nothing much so she certainly won't be providing extra cell phones
( I have done a bit of investigating). I have also told him that I expect FD about all details, but I will let him tell me in the safe environment of MC. I have lots of questions and I expect honest truthful answers ( I unfortunately agree with medium rare that there had to be at least some light PA)

I have laid out my boundaries and limits, in writing and made him sign it. he makes contact even once, or answers a text from her, I am done! No extra chances no excuses, he has had his 3 strikes next time he is out. I have told him that if he contacts her again his shit will be packed and waiting and I will have contacted her myself to let her know he is moving in with her ( programed her number into my locked phone right in front of him) I have also presented him with a list of all of our belongings and their approx value and told him to figure out what he might want in the D should he F up (my BFF had to do this for their divorce mediator and he knows it). He turned quite green when I did that, lol😆

A week ago I hired a personal trainer and nutritionist for me, booked multiple massage appointments for my TMJ problem ( I used to go regularly but it seemed I never had the time...always too busy taking care of him) Have given him a list of things he is now responsible for around our house ( told him if he had enough time for his whore he obviously had too much time on his hands so he must have enough time to clean a f**king fish tank, walk the dog and vacume and sweep a floor once a week, the worst one for him I cancelled the poop clean up company and told him he is responsible for cleaning it up😃...I may add other shit once time passes. I have also arrange multiple outings just for me this month with my friends! I also informed him that I have had testing for STD's , which I did at my physical last week ( that had to have been one of my most humiliating moments asking my long term Dr. For those tests).

I am still sleeping in the spare room and I certainly don't do his laundry or other shit errands. Also told him he wants this marriage he needs to treat me like a queen and date me like he did 25 yrs ago ( the man has not made arrangements for us to go anywhere in 24 yrs...I always make the plans), I might then consider moving back to our bed and consider full R. If he meets my expectations.

I feel free and I feel great....he is spinning In circles and trying to find his bearings and figure out how to save this marriage. He has cried off and on all weekend and keeps saying he is sorry, he says he doesn't know if he could survive if I left him. I know it takes 2 to save a marriage but he needs to know that we have a new reality now, I will not be his permanent slave and R will take a huge amount of work on his part because he broke my trust, my heart and ripped my reality apart. If he thought he couldn't survive without me then he should have never put his time and energy into his relationship with OW.

So what do you think folks...think I laced those bitch boots up tight enough?


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
Nest2007
Member
Member # 39532
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Honey those bitch boots are laced up so tight you're cutting off circulation (in the best possible way!) You're amazing and if this doesn't wake him up, I don't know what else will! Good on you and stay strong.


BS 35
WS 31
DD, only child
DDay: 06/09/13
End of TT/Full Disclosure 07/08/13

Reconciling. A stronger marriage now.

Psalm 37. It rocks my world. So does 140. Big guy upstairs has got it all figured out.


Posts: 230 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Here and there...
alphakitte
Member
Member # 33438
Default  Posted: 9:55 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

" . . . the worst one for him I cancelled the poop clean up company and told him he is responsible for cleaning it up. . . I may add other shit once time passes."

Please tell me you see the humor in this comment.

hard to keep up with picking up the poop when someonekeeps adding shit.


------ Some people are emotional tadpoles. Even if they mature they are just a warty toad. Catt

Posts: 347 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: 3 klicks north of Ambiguous
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Thanks folks...alphakite, I can't stop giggling now. I am thinking of secretly taking what he cleans up and dumping it back over the yard just so he can get the full effect of continually cleaning up someone elses shit


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 369 | Registered: Aug 2013
blindsided03
Member
Member # 40302
Default  Posted: 1:55 AM, September 7th (Saturday)

Girl. You need to read this article called "Warning Signs You're Dating a Loser." I have said that about 8 times on this site, but you need it, too!! I know I did!! You can't let this Dbag do that. "He'll keep trying to get in touch with her to spite you???" Is that really worth your time and effort? He's not even sorry?? Do you want your little girl to grow up thinking that this is how all men treat women??? She will. You need to set a good example for her, be strong, and don't be a doormat!! This guy is a jerk and both of you deserve better. He's only mad you're snooping because he has something to hide.


BW
M6m
Dday(2)8/13
D12/13...he's a sociopath.

Posts: 62 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
Broken6
Member
Member # 40347
Default  Posted: 11:23 AM, September 7th (Saturday)

EG you are my hero. I read top to bottom, and you are an inspiration. I am trying 180, I say trying because I keep falling off. I am hurt and still asking him for answers. I need to start finding them for myself. I hope everything you have done for yourself has made you stronger. ....I also thought the poop cleanup comment was funny and it takes alto to help me laugh these days, so thank you for that. Wishing you success.


The grass isn't greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it.

Posts: 58 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 47