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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Meeting with AP's BW
kg201
Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, August 30th (Friday)

So here I go to have coffee with the AP's BW. She already knows and kicked the jerk out of their house, so it isn't about making a Dday for her.

We'll see where the conversation goes. I think she wants to mine me for information, although I don't have much myself. We'll see if there is potential for mutual support or not. I have met her twice before our ddays so at least we should be able to find each other in the restaurant.

I'll report back afterwards.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 647 | Registered: Aug 2013
RyeBread
Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, August 30th (Friday)

Best of luck to you kg201.

Let us know if it was productive.

ETA: or if its not too.

[This message edited by RyeBread at 1:15 PM, August 30th (Friday)]


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
kg201
Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, August 30th (Friday)

It was a good meeting. We spent 2.5 hours talking about timeline and other things. Main takeaways:

1. The AP is more chickenshit than I gave him credit for.

2. According to the AP's wife, my WW was pushing the AP to separate from her the month leading up to Dday. Apparently he looked like shit, and the way she described him it sounded like he was having a nervous breakdown.

3. Apparently the AP told my wife the affair was over the night after I found out. Yet they still text and talk on the phone. He told his wife that my WW and he are just friends now and he is taking care of her health.

4. So #3 makes me wonder why my wife is so determined for a separation. My guesses are that a. She doesn't want to admit she put her eggs in the wrong basket (or as she put it "Kiss my ass" for the rest of her life). b. The AP is lying to his wife and the affair continues (although her description of his physical and emotional state makes me wonder if he is telling the truth). c. My wife needs space to figure out what the hell became of her life and her values.

So there it is. I am actually in a good space mentally. It was a good meeting. I love that the guy is such a nervous wreck (apparently the morning after I found out he had shut the windows in their house because he was afraid I was going to come over and tell her before he had a chance to. As if...Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so I can climb up and tell you 'bout an affair.)


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 647 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 3