SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: The Decree
hopeandchange
Member
Member # 33287
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

Stbxww sent me her lawyer' draft divorce decree by mistake - it was supposed to be the initial filing paperwork

Fine, I told stbxww that I had some items where I needed legal counsel when she realized she sent the wrong do incumbent, she immediately told me it was a mistake

I am trying to be fair, ensuring she has an attorney and advice but this mistake gaveled the same sense of secrecy from her LTA and it has me on edge. Argh!

H&c


BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
Divorced!
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

Posts: 405 | Registered: Sep 2011
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, August 31st (Saturday)

I have zero experience with this, but I would personally sock away any additional information that came my way from another lawyer. The only reason she needs an atty's advice is to protect herself from YOU, right? So you can do the right thing and ask for what's fair at that point. I wouldn't help much past that, I think.

I'm sorry that the discovery of information is a trigger. This is hard all the way around, huh?

(((hopeandchange)))


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16446 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

I am trying to be fair, ensuring she has an attorney and advice
Gently, it's HER job to watch out for her own interests. Your job is to watch out for yours. (((h&c)))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24437 | Registered: Aug 2011
Heal&Deal
Member
Member # 30910
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

My XH was so caught up in his own nonsense, he did not secure adequate representation. Worked out great. DS's interests were front and center, and ultimately I got everything I asked for.

My job is to protect DS and myself. For me that includes being fair, so that someday I can answer DS's questions honestly and openly. However, it does not include thinking for or protecting XH, which more often than not, is at odds with protecting DS and my emotional and financial wellbeing.

I would encourage you to step away from sheltering/protecting your STBXWW. Your needs are important. Focus your energy there.


Posts: 905 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: USA
hopeandchange
Member
Member # 33287
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

heal&deal.. your advice hit the spot. Thanks! I will start focusing on protecting myself as I already had focused on protecting my kids.

h&c


BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
Divorced!
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

Posts: 405 | Registered: Sep 2011
Topic Posts: 5