SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Packed his stuff
Phoenix9572
Member
Member # 39987
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

This week has been so weird since I threw WH out on Tuesday. He has begun dismantaling our life together as if it was routine business. Very sad.
Tonight I boxed/bagged up all his remaining clothes and personal items. The hardest was boxing up his nightstand that had all the cards I had given to him over our 22 years together. Flipping through some, I found the cards I gave him from our 1st wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it has come to this.

So tonight I sit alone with our boys gone with him for their first "visit". The house is too quiet and too empty.


Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Southern Indiana
PurpleRose
Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

((Phoenix)). It will get better.


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3585 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

(((HUGS)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9674 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Iamhappytoday
Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 11:05 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

There aren't enough hugs I could give to help you.

I know how intensely this hurts. I once read a thought someone shared that expressed true support:

"I grieve with you"

(((Hugs)))

And just keep breathing and hang in there. The ebb and flow of the pain is rough. Be good to yourself.


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, September 1st (Sunday)

(((((Phoenix)))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25362 | Registered: Aug 2011
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, September 2nd (Monday)

(((Phoenix9572)))


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4780 | Registered: Feb 2008
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

Your destiny is not tied to his. This is his story, it doesn't have to be yours...not forever anyway.

I am in same boat. I am separted since 4 weeks ago and the stbx has my kids. I went out to lunch with a friend who let me talk it out. I reviewed the financials, took a break from being mommy all weekend. Waiting for them to come home soon and be all mommy-esque again. Feeling good today actually. This is starting to sink in. I will survive. It gets better. Get a massage. Enjoy your solitude.

So sorry. You have to deal with the pain, if you don't, it won't go away. You are innocent and you can sleep at night. He on the other hand is a huge arsehole.


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
FaithFool
Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

(((Phoenix)))

It is very painful, we've all experienced it and it's terribly hard.

I found tuning in to a jazz station playing instrumentals to be soothing. Kept it on when I went out so I didn't have to come home to silence.

Hope you can treat yourself to a hot bath and some stupid TV or something tonight.

It will get better. It just takes time and a lot of tears.

Big hugs.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17392 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
ThisHell
Member
Member # 37089
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

I am so sorry for your pain. I remember the first few weeks being, well, surreal. I will say...once I was able to remove his things and not look around at what was no longer there really helped me. The next step was slowly making things my own. Even just a new comforter on my bed and rearranging a few pieces of furniture helped as crazy as it seems. Its hard. It really is. But you will get through it and you will be stronger and healthier than ever.


Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

Posts: 288 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: NC
Topic Posts: 9