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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: DDay was 4 years ago today
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:05 AM, September 2nd (Monday)

So, DD was 4 years ago today. (By day, not date) XH and I had been really distant and fighting alot for the 2 weeks prior. The week before that, XH was talking about going back to the foreign country where we got M'd to renew our vows for our 5th anniversary.

I triggered hard the first year, less the second, less last year. However, it's still my own personal hellish holiday.

Our D was final 5 months ago a few days ago. I'm mostly o.k. with that.

Not quite sure what my point is. Maybe mourning the loss of my M as I knew it. Maybe trying to offer some hope to those of you who are much closer to it.

For the most part, am relatively happy. Miss the man that I thought XH was. Still have a rough time wrapping my head around who XH is vs. who I thought XH was.

I'm rambling; sorry, just came off a really rough shift.

Considering where I was 4 years ago vs. where I am today, I guess there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I read (the collective) y'all threads and think I'm so far behind, and so much further out. Despite all that, there is some small modicum of healing further down the road. Maybe that's where I'm going with this.

My brain is a wee bit fried. Hugs to all of y'all that need it.


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 756 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
tesla
Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, September 2nd (Monday)

(((vulcanized)))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
rainagain
Member
Member # 14917
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, September 2nd (Monday)

Hugs today for you


Now, faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you cannot see. Heb 11:1
I done been through the pain and the sorrow the struggle is nothing but love. Maino
Me: Divorced BS 49
DS22, DD19, DS17

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Massachusetts
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

((((Vulcanized))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25499 | Registered: Aug 2011
dmari
Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

Lovely and honest post Vulcanized. Sending you hugs and strength today!


Me (BS): 42 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Settled at mediation
Officially divorced ... SOON!

Posts: 2233 | Registered: Oct 2012
Melody3
Member
Member # 33591
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

Thank you for sharing.

I took have a difficult time with September 2nd. Mine was 3 years ago that my WH left us.


BS (me): 38
WH: 38
Separated: 9/2/2010
DDay: 10/2010 PA with OW. Married 13 yrs, Together 20
Two kids, 8 (daughter) & 4(son)
Divorced 12/2013
OW moves 10 min's away from kids and I with my Ex. 6/2014.

Posts: 788 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

My DD and the day he left us was 3 years ago on July 19th. That day will forever be etched in my mind.


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1575 | Registered: Aug 2010
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

(((vulcanized)))

Posts: 35376 | Registered: Mar 2011
Nature_Girl
Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

It's so hard. The path to healing is so long & hard. To you're credit, V, you're still on it. You haven't given up. You're still reaching out with compassion & kindness. I think you're doing okay!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9707 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
thisisterrible
Member
Member # 24727
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, September 2nd (Monday)

My 4 year DDay 'anniversary' was last month.

I'm SO much better than I was back then...but I'm not where I want to be.

I still think about the A daily.

I still have a lot of anger towards STBXH.

I'm still sad that the whole thing happened.

I haven't dated anyone.

I'm still not financially stable.

I'm not 'over it' yet - not even close. Sure, I'm a million times closer to being over it now than I was four years ago, but I'm disappointed in myself that I haven't emotionally and mentally healed.

((Vulcanized)) No words of wisdom, but hopefully you'll find it comforting to know you're not alone.


Me:BS Him:WH Two young kids
Married 12yrs - together 20
A started 2/09 - S 7/09 - he filed for D 12/09
I wanted to R and he didn't. He never stopped seeing the MOW, who filed for D 11/09. They've since broke up...for now.

Posts: 543 | Registered: Jul 2009
Vulcanized
Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, September 7th (Saturday)

Thanks for the kind words.

Was awake for at least 3 hours before I realized it was today.

Progress???


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 756 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Topic Posts: 11