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User Topic: Just a word of advice
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

You should never ask a woman if she's pregnant.

Not even if she's wearing a loose flowing shirt, or you think her face is "glowing."

Because maybe she's already feeling like a fucking heifer, and tracking her calories and sore from working out and just trying to get a damn drink of water in the breakroom. And that doesn't really help when she already felt like weeping when she got on the scale this morning.

If you're not SURE don't ASK.

And the answer is NO.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Some people are just dumbasses.

We used to have a receptionist that worked in my office who kept asking women that. Sometimes she would ask the same women repeatedly if they were. One day, one of those women (who'd given birth to twins the year before and had brought them in for a vist) said "No, I'm not pregnant. I gave birth a year ago as you can tell by the two children you see in front of you". The women then said "Oh, having a little trouble losing that baby weight are you?"

She wasn't the brightest bunny in the forest.


((((Jana))))


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13724 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Oh good lord I would HATE that woman.

I'm just . . . between her and the woman I posted about a while back who told me I was big-boned, I feel like hiding in my cubicle. I would NEVER ask a woman that unless she was either crowning or holding a positive pregnancy test.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

I've seen pics of you Jana. You are beautiful. Don't let anybody get you down.


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13724 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Thanks LH. I'm trying not to let it get to me. Especially since I would rather like to be pregnant, but know for a fact that I'm not.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

(((Jana)))

Posts: 34709 | Registered: Mar 2011
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Some people are ignorant and if you could slap the stupid out of them, I would be there to hold your earrings. But you can not . You are gorgeous!
(Jana)


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6545 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
metamorphisis
Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

My sister has had this happen twice. She has to wear these awful period costume dresses that make it appear that way. So a patron asked her at work and when she said No she wasn't, the lady replied "Well then suck it in honey!".

My sister is so shy and sweet and that hurt her so much. I am not shy, or particularly sweet and have no problem telling an asshat where to go. I sooooo wish I had been there.

Jana.. people do it to make themselves feel better I am sure.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44436 | Registered: Sep 2006
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

I have always had a belly. When you're a little girl it's cute but in HS I was constantly getting asked if I was pregnant. Even at my lowest, fittest weight I had a little tummy. I've gotten so used to people asking me if I'm pregnant I usually jump the gun and announce that I'm not.

That being said, it's complete idiocy that anyone would ask a woman that. I don't care if she's 9 months out and the trademark basketball shape is practically spelling out pregnant. You JUST. DO. NOT. EVER. ASSUME.

Jana, you're adorable. I wanna punch whomever this classless dousche is. People are just dumb sometimes.

(((JanaGreen)))


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17058 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
kernel
Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Oh Jana, screw her. Maybe the response is, "No, are you always this rude?"


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5058 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
peridot
Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

I've had this happen. Ever since I had my DD I've had a stomach and if I wear the right clothes it looks like I am pregnant.

When I was pregnant with my DD, per my doctor, my stomach had turned to muscle. It's been very hard to loose. I've lost some of my stomach but not much.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4751 | Registered: Feb 2008
Kajem
Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

My answer for any and all rude questions "why do you want to know?" That usually shuts them up- hopefully it makes them think the next time they want to show how stupid they are.

Hugs
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5014 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
click4it
Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, September 3rd (Tuesday)

Ugh sorry that happened. I've had it happen to me too and I guess it was karma.

I had assumed this lady at my school was pregnant and asked when she was due. She wasn't. I was mortified. I didn't think she was fat, nor ugly, just thought she was expecting.

Never ever again will I assume or even ask.

I have the hugest belly that makes me look like i'm at least 4 or 5 months pregnant if I don't try to hide it so I can imagine how many people think I'm expecting.


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
painpaingoaway
Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 6:34 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)

OMG Jana, what a stupid idiotic fucking bitch she was! I am so sorry.
Oh Jana, screw her. Maybe the response is, "No, are you always this rude?"
Love that!

You know I think you are gorgeous.

FTB!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)

I dont ever ask because really, its none of my business if she is or isnt.

I was all belly, and with DD I showed pretty much right away. I got...."Are you sure you are not having TWINS"...."When is your due date again, cause you look like you are ready to pop (at 5 months along)"....."Gosh, that's going to be a big baby. (both were 8 pounds)"....

I hated being pregnant to begin with. Being made to feel like a circus freak or a fat cow just made it all the better


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1717 | Registered: Sep 2012
TrulyReconciled
Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)

You should never ask a woman if she's pregnant.

You have to actually TELL people that???


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21040 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)

She told me that she thought my "face looked different."

Well, I had just gotten back from running in the 85 degree heat and million percent humidity, taken a hot shower, and not reapplied any make-up. So possibly I was "glowing"

I did have on a loose shirt, one that I wore when I was pregnant with my daughter. Not maternity but works as a mat shirt.

So I'm laughing it off today. I know she felt awful after saying it.

I had another coworker ask me this a long time ago, before I had my daughter. I was wearing a shirt that completely looked like a maternity shirt. At that time I really did laugh about it and it didn't make me feel bad at all - but I weighed almost 30 pounds less then, and I had just finished training for and running a half marathon. I was in the best shape of my life and that comment rolled off my back. So my response yesterday is completely about how I feel about myself, and not what she said. You know?

But yeah, I'd NEVER say that to someone unless I one thousand percent KNEW.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
dontknowwhyme
Member
Member # 21587
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, September 4th (Wednesday)

Some people are ignorant and if you could slap the stupid out of them, I would be there to hold your earrings.


BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
D-Day3:11-3-10
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.

Posts: 995 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
Weatherly
Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)

I had that happen once, I went home crying.

I get it, i'm not little. And, I have a fondness for high-waisted, long dresses, to hide my ridiculous hips...but, apparently, that then makes me look pregnant.

Luckily, it has only happened that once. But, I certainly learned my lesson and have never asked anyone else unless.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4485 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
TattoodChinaDoll
Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)

I was still working full time when I was pregnant with DD4. After she was born I went back during my leave to show off the baby. One of substitute teachers said, "Ohhhh. I didn't know you were pregnant. I thought that was your shape!" That one wasnt really offensive as much as it was weird because I was obviously pregnant. And I worked right up to the end. I left work on Friday, went into the hospital on Sunday night and she was born at 5 in the morning on Monday at 38 weeks...so yeah...no doubt I was pregnant. AND she was 9lbs 6ozs. It was all baby.

A coworker (I don't remember who I was pregnant with) asked me where I got my maternity clothes since I was the same size as her daughter who was also pregnant. The daughter came in one day and she was 6 feet tall (I'm 5'4" on a good day) and at least 100 pounds heavier than me! That one made my jaw drop.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 2, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

Posts: 1718 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

LOL (((Jana)))
I too have had someone ask me that, and my response nope just fat.
The second time someone asked me, I said well if I am there is gonna be some explaining to do since that factory was not only closed, but demolished. This was a Dr, so I really wanted him to feel like an ass, as he was a typical pompus a-hole.

He didnt make eye contact with me for about 6 months. LOL....Yah my kids are 14 and 16, and I am still working on loosing the baby weight.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8228 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
JanaGreen
Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, September 5th (Thursday)

Well . . . not to be mean but this lady weighs about the same as I do. She's also six inches shorter.

She apologized and felt really bad about it. She's very extroverted and doesn't have much of a filter. She's always the loudest one in any group and she'd give you the shirt off your back if you needed it. Meanwhile I'm more reserved and overthink things. So we're just really different.

She still shouldn't have said it, but she meant no harm. Still mortifying!


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Topic Posts: 22