SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Reconciliation
User Topic: Quote from "The noticer"
PrincessPeach06
Member
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)

It hit me so hard but is so true!

“If one makes a mistake, then an apology is usually sufficient to get things back on an even keel. However-and this is a big ‘however’- most people do not ever know why their apology did not seem to have any effect. It is simply that they did not make a mistake; they made a choice…and never understood the difference between the two.”
― Andy Andrews, The Noticer: Sometimes, All a Person Needs Is a Little Perspective.


Me (BS): 35
Him (fWS): 35
Married 16 years 6 kids ages 15-5
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

"Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey".


Posts: 297 | Registered: Jun 2013
OldCow18
Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)

YES. EXACTLY. I already sent this to WH. It's exactly what I've been trying to articulate.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (48) 10 years, together 15
D-Day 6.8.13
D-Day #2 9.6.13 Broken NC/TT
D-Day #3 10.23.13 "Full Disclosure"
WH having PA with MW coworker 3.13-6.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
sparklezombie
Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)

That is completely right. Hope WH comes to understand it.


BS: Me
WH: Husband
Married 11.5 years
2.5 false R's.
Status: Divorcing.
You can't pick up a turd by the clean end. Time to flush the toilet.

Posts: 221 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)

Just epic


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
In R
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth." -Carl Sagan

Posts: 2248 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
WhiteCarrera
Member
Member # 29126
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, September 4th (Wednesday)

That is really good! I can't tell you how many times my wife has referred to her affair as a mistake (ONS at work conference, followed by six weeks of talk and texting).

She's tired of me correcting her -- It was NOT a mistake! This really makes sense in light of the tone of her apologies. She expects apology/acceptance/move-on. It's not that easy.


If I want recovery, then I must allow for it to actually happen.
Is it possible that I actually do have all the truth now?

me - husband A46
her - wife A42
Married 17 years
D-Day August 2, 2009
3 kids 11, 13, and 15


Posts: 258 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 5