Topic: Reactions toward the AP?
Member # 33643
| Posted: 3:10 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
I recall when I was about 10 years old, my dad was cheating on my mom. My mom was not one to take things lightly so one day when my dad was parousing the town with OW, my mom, with me and my younger brother in tow in her tiny red Honda CRX spotted him in his truck with AP (my uncle's wife ) and followed them! I guess she was spotted because he proceeded to drive into a secluded area with hopes to hide. Well, we followed and sure enough when he put his truck in park, he jumped out and ran leaving OW there in the truck to fend for herself. OW did not realize my mom charging toward her and had no time to run! My mom dragged her out of that truck and proceeded to beat the crap out of OW
I know this is only in the dreams of most BS (myself included), and violence is NEVER the answer but how many of you actually did beat the AP? Mods, if this is not a topic that should be discussed, please feel free to remove.
Posts: 97 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: AZ
Member # 39652
| Posted: 4:05 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
Your mom rocks! Good for her. I'm sorry you're now going through the same thing...it's just so wrong.
I've never once risked breaking a nail on an OW. I have however entered into some email/facebook "fights" with them. Needless to say, their ignorance regarding the man they were sleeping with (the man who came home to me), allowed me to walk away winning the argument.
Not quite the satisfaction as a good smack to their ugly mug would have given me, but at least this route kept me out of jail.
Me: BGF (46), on the fence
Him: WBF (much younger than me), not sure he's the man he thinks he is.
I loved you for who I thought you were. Since he doesn't exist, who the hell am I'm sleeping with?
Posts: 329 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 30024
| Posted: 4:20 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
I have only read here a few situations where the BS got into a physical fight with the AP. Others keep it hush-hush, I think.
I do know one BH wound up in jail for assault. And, I have read here where one BW was physically attacked by the OW at a restaurant.
Yeah, I am not willing to run the risk of any legal retribution. However, I fantasize about OW showing up at my door and me throat punching it.
BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
Posts: 8687 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Member # 40488
| Posted: 4:33 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
Well I can tell you Not to bother no matter how much you wish you could. In my country the wife is in her right to beat the shit out of that bitch. But in this country built on suing and litigation don't even touch the OP. I noticed a double standard though. It seems to be ok if a man punches out another guy for cheating with his wife. But these OW are cowards and run to the police if you breathe on them.. So kudos to your mom...
Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore
Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 32214
| Posted: 4:37 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
I ran into her by accident. The first time I had seen her since DDay two years earlier. I just said, "Well, if it isn't the town whore." She got all up in my face, but I was just calm and said, "You fucked my husband for seven years. How else should I think of you?"
Unfortunately her daughter (19) was there and heard me, even though I was unaware of her presence. I felt bad about that, but maybe she should have thought twice about sleeping with someone else's husband. I can't imagine what she told her daughter.
I would fantasize about killing her, but I know I would never touch a hair on her head. Amazing how much I hate her though. I never knew I could hate someone this much. In face, she is probably the first person that I have truly hated.
Really great what our cheating spouses turn us into, isn't it.
Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.
Posts: 1143 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Member # 20547
| Posted: 6:31 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
No, she would call the cops on me in a heartbeat. She acts big, but OW is a coward.
However, my FWH, during a particularly heinous fight (in our driveway, after drinking, shortly into R), told me "Just hit me if you think it'll make you feel better."
An unmeasurable amount of time later some drunk riding home on his bike pulled me off of FWH. I was covered in his blood and he was almost unrecognizable. It took a few weeks for his face to go back to normal.
We had to go back to work the next week (we were on vacation), and even a week later my boss saw his face and threatened to call the cops on me. He told people a group of guys had jumped him outside the bar. It was humiliating.
My advice: don't hit people, and don't drink while new to betrayal or new to R.
[This message edited by Want2help at 6:31 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell
Posts: 1911 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Member # 40387
| Posted: 7:39 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
I never got to meet her but even tho he was distraught when telling me the tears ment nothing to me and I just keep pinching him in his face, ribs, back any where my hand hit. As for her he won't tell me who she is..... But I can't say what would happen if I were to meet her. But at the end of the day she lost cause he never left or picked her over me......... But on my side he wants to beat the holy crap out of the guy that was filling my emotional need and he knows who he is... So some times even tho it's bad letting out your pain physically can be more relieving then you think.😏
[This message edited by Lostly88 at 7:43 PM, September 5th (Thursday)]
Me_26 EA _ 1 1/2 years ago
Him_24 PA _ 1 year into relationship
Together 5 years
D-day_April 2013 (not sure what day)
May all the pain and sorrow be lifted by the rays of clarity and happiness warm out hearts. 💏
Posts: 10 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: California
|Oh the Irony|
Member # 12354
| Posted: 9:02 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
I did. She walked into the office which she shared with my ex at the exact moment that I discovered proof of their affair--after 18 months of horrible gaslighting. I went for her, body slammed her into a filing cabinet and slapped her. It was not premeditated. I understand crimes of passion. I was totally not in control. Luckily she got away before I did serious damage.
It actually shook me to the core that I lost control and attacked her.
Two gorgeous boys, 14 and 8.
D-day Sept. 15, 2006.
Me, BS 43
Him, WS 50
Her, OG (Guess she is 27 or 28 now! 19-21 at the time...)
Separated. Divorcing. Happily working on myself.
Posts: 725 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: thankful for truth
Member # 40358
| Posted: 9:12 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
I needed her for the actually truth since wh was TT me to death. In my fantasy world I've beat the crap out of her:)
Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
My life is shattered unsure about R
Posts: 129 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
Member # 38141
| Posted: 9:18 PM, September 5th (Thursday)|
I'd like to think I would look stunning, hold my head high, look her in the eye and say, "f - you".
Kudos to your mom!
ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.
Posts: 336 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 33643
| Posted: 9:22 AM, September 6th (Friday)|
Actually, I *did* have the chance to pounce on OW but I was just so shocked and stunned I could not move as she walked RIGHT PAST ME after I busted her and WSO walk out of the bathroom after their tryst. He was naked when they walked out, saw me, his eyes got so big he turned around and ran back into the restroom for an hour! He blames the alcohol and his lack of memory I still kick myself to this day for not doing what I should have done.
Anyway, My mother was a petite woman. She was 5 feet tall but was tough as nails! After that, she sort of gave up. Although they did seperate for about 5 years when I was in high school, they did re-unite she forgave dad and dad was very doting on her. Sadly though, she passed in 2007 but he was right there by her side. 100% reconciled.
Posts: 97 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: AZ
Member # 34086
| Posted: 9:48 AM, September 6th (Friday)|
I had a similar experience as a kid, but in reverse. My mom was the OW. We lived in some section 8 apartments, and my mom was having an A with the the maintenance man. One day there was a knock on the door, and when my mom opened the door his wife just burst through and pummeled my mom in front of me and my sister. I was seven. Her H finally arrived and pulled her off my mom - my mom just lay there crying with blood all over her face. The fact my wife risked having this happen to our son is something I will never understand. It's extremely traumatic to a child, and the second worst thing that's ever happened to me by someone else's choices.
I didn't confront my wife's AP - not because violence isn't the answer, but because I was pretty sure that I'd be the one who got his ass kicked. And I preferred to remain only cuckolded, he'd already had the pleasure of abusing my wife any way he wanted, I wasn't going to let him do it to me.
Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
Posts: 3063 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 10347
| Posted: 11:27 AM, September 6th (Friday)|
I do not think any of them are worth jail time, or any legal consequences, so it is best to limit your actions to telling them off, or something like that.
However, my H cheated on his first wife with the same whore that tried to break up our M. His XW told me that she "beat the shit" out of Whore. I only wish I could have seen that. Most of the time, I got along with his ex (and mother of his children) but there was one time they were in a court battle over money, and she threatened me, right there while I was sitting in the court room, to beat the living crap out of me. This event happened a long time before my H's A with the whore, so I don't doubt that his XW might have done something like that.
Posts: 5531 | Registered: Apr 2006
Member # 40219
| Posted: 1:51 PM, September 6th (Friday)|
In my head I have thought about how it might feel to punch or slap her. But I know it wouldn't do any good.
WS MisterP (36)
Together 13 1/2 Years
D Day 03 Aug 13 EA & PA
D Day #2 01 Sep 13 continued EA & PA with OW
Slowly making progress towards Reconciliation.
Posts: 164 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Colorado Springs
Member # 28571
| Posted: 2:04 PM, September 6th (Friday)|
I'd rather go through another dday than beat the OM down in front of my sons.
“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”
Posts: 6910 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Member # 28156
| Posted: 2:50 PM, September 6th (Friday)|
We faced each other very closely, accidently coming around the same corner. She panicked , and actually turned around and ran. I ran after her a few steps, mostly for the noise. She was terrified of me. Kept running and looking back. It was another clue, that said they were guilty. This was very early in investigating. ANd the day, I was convinced. I have not seen her since. I know where she eats. ANd I have eaten there.
a trigger yesterday
Posts: 804 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
|Topic Posts: 16|| |