User Topic: Divorce Care advice needed
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, September 7th (Saturday)

I'm going to start to go to a Divorce Care group next week. Does anyone have any advice that will help me get the most from this?
I am not religious but live in a very religious area. I hope that will not be an issue.

Divorced and beginning my new life.

2 Ddays and lots of TT

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 1:48 AM, September 7th (Saturday)

This is Christian based, but when I went - it wasn't all about that. I found it really good. I took my kids to DC4K too; they really liked it.

Go; you won't be scared away.

Posts: 14389 | Registered: Jun 2008
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, September 7th (Saturday)

It's a religion based program, but all the people I ran into were the types that cared more for helping people than for pushing their religion.

You can get the most from it by listening to what is said, and understanding what applies to you, and what doesn't. But really listen. Some very realistic stuff is buried by the religious message.

And some of it will not apply at all.

Take what you need, and leave the rest.

The videos are good, and lay the framework, but the discussion part is the best part.

Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5181 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, September 7th (Saturday)

I'm a Divorce Care leader and we get many non-religious folks through our doors. You watch a video and you can take or leave whatever is useful to you. Then there are small group discussions regarding the video or whatever is on people's minds. Your leaders may approach the healing process from God's perspective, but they will not push it on you. They'll meet you where you're at. In our group, we pray for each member at the end. You can refuse prayer of you like, but even our most non-religious never has.

Go for it. You may meet some friends and support you never imagined.

3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know."
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2524 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, September 7th (Saturday)

I go to one and am not Christian nor am I very religious. I'm not very open there about my personal beliefs, but they made it clear when I first attended that they are open to all. The information is very good, there is just a lot of scripture thrown in which I ignore. I feel like I've gotten a lot out of it. There are many people there dealing with infidelity so you will not be alone.

BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 918 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, September 7th (Saturday)

I'm also a Divorce Care leader, and I agree with what everyone else has said. Just like anything new, the hardest part is walking through the doors that first night. At the end of your course sessions you will look back at that first night and how scared you were, and you will be amazed at how far you've come.

Go and check it out. It's an excellent program.

Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 7824 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, September 7th (Saturday)

I did divorce care a few years ago. Really great program that got me thru some dark days :-)

Posts: 1401 | Registered: Jan 2010
Member # 36099
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, September 7th (Saturday)

Go for it. You may meet some friends and support you never imagined.

I attended a group just a year ago. I walked into that room a complete wreck. I was scared out of my mind not knowing what my future held. A few months later I knew I would be okay. Between SI and DC I have learned that I will be alright.

We have become a very close knit group of friends. We get together at least 3 times a month with somebody hosting a dinner monthly. I never would have imagined that in a years time I would have such a good group of friends all of whom understand and support and care about each other as we walk this journey of D.

Me- 53
WH- 57
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 2 SIL, 3 grandchildren

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, September 8th (Sunday)

I'm pretty sure divorce care saved my life.

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3391 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, September 8th (Sunday)

Thank you all so very much for your answers. You have made me much more comfortable and encouraged. I will be starting this week. I've gotten to a fairly good place at this point. I'm at acceptance. I'm letting go of things I can not control but at the same time acknowledging what I will accept in my life.
After what you have all said, I think this could be very helpful.

Divorced and beginning my new life.

2 Ddays and lots of TT

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
Topic Posts: 10