Something I do with the triggers is evaluate and then change the way my mind thinks when a trigger comes.
I'll try to give an example and not be my usual long winded self.
This past winter, I went to hear my father in concert. He neglected to tell me that the heart of the show was love songs. At the beginning, I sat drenched in tears and mascara, with hugs from strangers to comfort me. No one spoke as the music continued and my tears continued, no questions were asked, but I got mad at myself while I sat there.
I was mad because I realized that by giving in to a trigger, I was letting Perv ruin even more of my life than he already has. He's ruined the past already, for I can't get those days back, but to let him ruin the rest of my days is, in a way, my own choice. All of this came to mind as I sat and listened to the holiday and love songs.
So...a few songs later, something occurred to me. Why did life have to still be about that man? It finally dawned on me, how much of my life was about that man, who threw me away without even looking back up the hill when he drove off in the middle of the night.
So...two boxes of tissues and some hand squeezes later, I started to ask myself, what's the problem here? He's not here, nothing bad happened today, so get hold of yourself. I began to ask myself about the songs and to listen to the other parts, the instruments and not so much the words. During this time, I asked myself what other kinds of love are in the world? My daughter, my parents, siblings and so on...it was really hard and it didn't erase his image from my mind, but what it did was let me think of my love for other people. By the time the show was over, I was thinking of all the people who still love me and have done acts of kindness in his absence.
It really, really helped and I was able to only sniffle when I got to congratulate my father for his music.
There are some other anti-trigger ideas I've worked on if you want to "hear" them, for this is a daily journey for me.
One of the first things a counselor told me that you are already doing, is to recognize.Ashland 13
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge