Wayward Side
User Topic: Long Term Goals
Member # 36345
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, September 8th (Sunday)

I was wondering if any of you WS have any long term goals you wish accomplish say in the next 5 years? And for BS's, what do you think about your WS's having long term goals for your relationship? How do you feel about future goals?

My husband has said that he doesn't think that far ahead anymore since my A, but is happy to hear that I have some long term goals for us and our relationship.

I ended up having my A 5 months after we got married. So I totally screwed up our marriage in that way. My husband has told me that when I feel like things are right and good between us that he wants me to propose to him.

So my goal is to figure out something nice and propose to him. Not any time soon but within the next 3 1/2 years roughly. Our son by that time will be around 3 years old and able to listen better and our daughter will also be older. I want to propose to him and plan a small wedding and remarry my best friend. This time to do it right and not screw things up.

There isn't really a point to this, I just wanted to share and hear other opinions.

BH (him): 28 ~ FWW (me): 27
Together 9 years
2 kids
D-Day: April 19, 2012

Posts: 167 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 40133
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, September 8th (Sunday)

BS here. My WH has said his 5 year goals include continuing to work on him, raise happy and healthy kids, help get our (currently) 12 year old daughter prepared for college, and work on our marriage by being mutually loving and respectful (which he hasn't been in our 6 1/2 years together).

Here is what I think about the long term goals: I'm glad my WH has set specific goals for himself, but when we got married 4 1/2 years ago, we both had a lot of goals that resulted in being happy and growing old together. Obviously, that didn't work out for either one of us. I am literally taking things one day at a time. I no longer set long term goals for us because I am just *waiting* for something else to happen at this point. My mind is so full of fear that I cannot allow myself to look too far ahead.

Me: 31
WH (1DumbHusband): 35
Married 5 years, together 7 years.
D-Day: June 17th, 2013
TTs that came out as late as January 2014

"One is not tempted by that he does not want."

Posts: 136 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Dallas, TX
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, September 8th (Sunday)

I was wondering if any of you WS have any long term goals you wish accomplish say in the next 5 years?

1. Get remarried
2. Have a baby
3. Write a book

I had my first D-day (texting) before we were even married and started the full-blown A w/same OM 2 years into M.

Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried. Reconciliation is a process and I still struggle.

Posts: 2221 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
Topic Posts: 3