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Reconciliation
User Topic: Feeling very sad recently
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 4:31 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

So I've officially been in affair season since May of this year. However it's been June onwards that I've been slipping and slipping....and slipping into sadness.

Friday is my dday of domestic violence which over the past week has been really awful. On Friday we were supposed to spend the day together, he really honestly tried to move things around (as it's not so easy for him to get a day off). But as of two days it became obvious that this will not come to fruition.

This has really upset me and today we spent a bit of the day together. He decided to take me to my grandad's grave. I mean I hadn't been there for a year, I don't drive so you know it isn't as if I could get there myself. And it's not like I could say no without feeling guilty.

But when I was there, I just felt or realised I don't know. Like a real failure. I have no family really. This was compounded by the fact that when I spoke to WH later that he said it was a key factor in never really considering leaving me. It's like he feels he has the obligation. He understands the why of how he felt that way was honestly ridiculous (career and the such). But that's not the point is it>?

But since then it's really dawn on me that I have no family. I don't have a mother or father, brother or sister, auntie or uncle, grandmother or grandfather to lean on, to offer support, to say they love me, to live with if money was fucked. I mean I do, but they are all rich violent and alcoholic. And no I do not want any relationship with them, because it would escelate out of control.

I have nothing.

There's really no point to this post, I get it but I felt like venting. So thankyou

[This message edited by lauren123 at 4:34 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)]


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
nekorb
Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 5:05 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

(((Hugs)))

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I don't have family close to me too support me through the A, but my friends have been fantastic!

Sometimes family isn't defined by blood, you know? Do you have friends that would help you if you needed it?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 5:11 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

unfortunately not really. I have quite a few friends. But they aren't close or anything like that. I guess it's lonely being me


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
Feelsmall
New Member
Member # 40413
Default  Posted: 5:38 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

It's really not easy for you, dear.

But you are not alone, you have us, just come and talk about your feelings, it would be great help.


Me BH 31
WW 29
DD 07.2013
DS 2
Working on R

Posts: 12 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: somewhere in hell
Topic Posts: 4