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User Topic: Ashley Madison
movingbackwards
Member
Member # 40612
Angry  Posted: 10:18 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Anyone else just totally have it out for the scumbags who facilitate affairs via this website? (I'm sure there are others as well)

I know that a WS is going to find a way to be a WS regardless, and no one forced my WH or anyone else to join this site. It just disgusts me that people are making money off of broken marriages.

My vent for the day.


You can crawl back home, say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long
Go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted!

Posts: 85 | Registered: Sep 2013
RyeBread
Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Agree 110%


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
TrulySad
Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I just looked at the description. Wow! What scum!!! How is this something a person would search out? I am so saddened by the lack of morals and integrity these days.


Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.


Posts: 452 | Registered: Jun 2013
simplydevastated
Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

It just disgusts me that people are making money off of broken marriages.

^^^This

I am so saddened by the lack of morals and integrity these days.

^^^And this.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Yep. I hated that site - I won't even say what I thought about people who would use it. Then I found out my wife was one of the people that made them #1.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3932 | Registered: Dec 2011
demos
Member
Member # 35660
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I blame Gore. He invented this internet thing.

Posts: 166 | Registered: May 2012
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

t/j - There was cheating before the internet. Without the internet though, SI wouldn't exist.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3932 | Registered: Dec 2011
Lovedyoumore
Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I hated the billboards. Just trash.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1473 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
LifeisCrazy
Member
Member # 38287
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I'm going to make a comment here that no one is going to like. Please recognize that I'm just playing Devil's Advocate and that I, in no way, advocate sites like these.

So, that being said...

You're unhappy in your marriage. Or your spouse cheated on you and you're looking for a little "action" on the side. Or whatever reason you come up with to justify stepping outside your marriage.

Where are you going to go? To a bar? Hope that someone at work gets your across-the-room stare?

No. Someone in this boat wants to find someone who wants the same as them. And... most importantly, wants someone with as much to lose as they do. People on AM, I would assume, have incentive to keep the secret. If you think about it, AM is the perfect synchronization for like-minded individuals.

Hence, a site for cheaters.

We ask ourselves how people can fail to see that affairs are due to the person's own brokenness. But that has to be recognized first - and far too often it either gets recognized too late or never gets recognized at all. People looking for an affair don't see problems in themselves - if they did we wouldn't see such high numbers of adultery.

Ashley Madison fills a need.

Unfortunately,


"Pain is temporary. Quitting is forever."

Posts: 158 | Registered: Jan 2013
notquiteoverit
Member
Member # 32919
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I agree with LifeisCrazy. There are many websites out there that are offensive, not just Ashley Madison. They are out to make money in our capitalitic society and see a niche to be filled. Blame the people who use Ashley Madison. The responsibility is 100% theirs.


Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

Posts: 575 | Registered: Jul 2011
PinkJeepLady
Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Totally disgusting that it even exists and sad that more people don't speak up publicly about how destructive infidelity is to ALL parties involved.
What happened to integrity and honor?
Your post is making me want to start a protest march right now. I guess it would be an online protest, blog of some sort. What ever happened to old fashioned sit ins? Man I am getting old! If anyone wants to start an anti-cheating movement, count me and my pink jeep in!


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 484 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
movingbackwards
Member
Member # 40612
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Lifeiscrazy, notquiteoverit - I know, I mentioned that of course the blame is on the people who use it. It just makes me wonder what kind of a person can be okay with making money off of such a twisted premise.

The full force of my anger is definitely on WH and the other people who use this website. But there's enough anger to go around, so the people who run AM get a little bit as well


You can crawl back home, say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long
Go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted!

Posts: 85 | Registered: Sep 2013
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Quote from Noel Biderman, who is the founder of AM:

In an interview with the "A Current Affair" program in Australia, he admitted that if he found out that his own wife was accessing his cheater's site, that "I would be devastated."

The guy is a hypocrite. If he was willing to let his wife go and have her jollies with random men on the internet then I wouldn't say that - but he understands he facilitates devastation.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3932 | Registered: Dec 2011
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I agree MB...We all know the ws is responsible for their actions and people have always found a way to cheat before internet, cell phones, beepers and so forth. You have a legitimate vent. Technology just makes it easier for the cheater and harder for us to catch them. I know my ws would have had an extremely difficult time cheating if it weren't for his cell phone...started A with texting. It's just disgusting that some POS had the idea of a site like AM.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 11:04 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5039 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Wth there are millions and millions of single females and males why can't they just leave the married ones alone and to make a website to make it okay that's $&@$ up

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
wifehad5
Moderator
Member # 15162
Red  Posted: 1:04 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

PM for you demos.


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 37181 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Of course it is the fault of the people who use AM, no one forces them to.

I feel the point of the post is, though, what kind of POS human being makes millions and millions of dollars off of other peoples misery? How can they sleep at night? He knows many get "busted" using AM, how can he feel no one is getting hurt? Many broken marriages, broken families, but he is fine as long as he gets his money, the greedy mofo. Sure, people are going to cheat, so why not make money off of it?

he admitted that if he found out that his own wife was accessing his cheater's site, that "I would be devastated."
Whether or not Mrs. Biderman uses AM to cheat or not I couldn't care less about. I just want her to cheat. If she used AM, well, that would be just icing on the cake, poetic justice. Mrs. Biderman deserves to be cheated on, too, as she profits from the evilness also. I know I couldn't be married to someone who was making money in this way.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 1:16 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9655 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I feel the point of the post is, though, what kind of POS human being makes millions and millions of dollars off of other peoples misery?

I don't get it either. Be a scumbag and get rewarded. Try to do the right thing and go broke


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197785 | Registered: May 2002
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I don't get it either. Be a scumbag and get rewarded. Try to do the right thing and go broke

(((DS & MH)))

Thank you for going broke for us.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17335 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

what kind of POS human being makes millions and millions of dollars off of other peoples misery

A capitalist.

It is a shame, and I hate the site, but it is genius in its simplicity; the same way as the Girls Gone Wild DVDs that made another douchebag a millionaire many times over.

The owner recognized a demand that has been around since the beginning of the institution of marriage, exploited it, and is now reaping his rewards.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 1:23 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1252 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Deeply Scared
Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

(((Jrazz)))

You may have to come out here and drink a delicious bottle of wine with me and to spread your glitter all around


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 197785 | Registered: May 2002
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

and is now reaping his rewards.
Yup, he is. Lost a few multi million dollar lawsuits brought against him. Spent over a year in jail and I believe is now facing another year in jail. YAY!

Thanks DS and MH. Right??? The world is really upside down, isn't it?


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9655 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

You may have to come out here and drink a delicious bottle of wine with me and to spread your glitter all around

It's a date!


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17335 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
surviving1963
Member
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Anything for a buck these days... My WH forgot to log out of his Ashley Madison account- BIG MISTAKE on his part! It caused me unspeakable pain. He said it was just a joke - haha! You have to set up a separate email and he paid $250.00 for a full membership. I printed out all 16 pages of his profile including the women he emailed, the transaction report showing what he paid...etc etc. So disgusting! Only trash would use that website. Where can I go to donate $$ to SI. A website so worthwhile!!


Me: 50
WH: 50 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married 33 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 118 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
Tred
Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

surviving - there is a Donation link on the top left of the web page.

I'm still expecting to meet a BS on this site whose H knows my wife from AM...


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3932 | Registered: Dec 2011
nowiknow23
Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Tred - I've had the same thoughts here. Pretty sure the timelines don't match up, or wasband could have been that guy.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25362 | Registered: Aug 2011
heartache101
Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I could never be a business owner in something so low as AM. I want to be proud of who I am and be a positive influence on society. This AM owner needs a new awakening and I hope Karma gives it to him 2 fold!


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3187 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
tushnurse
Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

AM is just one of many, but AM is pretty ballsy with their ads, on billboards, radio etc.

Shortly after Dday, they started running ads on some radio stations here, and I emailed each station and the parent company with a strongly worded letter in regard to boycotting the stations until the ads were pulled, I then forwarded the letter I wrote to all my friends, and family members and asked that they do the same thing to just put their names on it.
The ads ran their time on whatever contract they had paid for. But the good news is they have not had them since.
I know cheaters will find a way to cheat, but an ad that says life is short have an affair makes me want to hurt the creator.

Oh really that's a great use of your short time on this earth, to destroy lives, create agony, break trust, live in complete and total stress of being caught? just ew.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8509 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Where can I go to donate $$ to SI. A website so worthwhile!!

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/donations.asp


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17335 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Holly-Isis
Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Part of me keeps hoping the guy who started it gets cheated on.

And I also keep hoping that someone in an AoA state tries to drag them into a lawsuit...and wins.

Ashley Madison fills a need.

See. This may be semantics but I think this is a big problem. People these days don't know needs from wants and in pursuing the wants they feel are important, they begin to tell themselves what they're doing is ok because it's a need.

I need sex.
I need to be happy.
I need to get my way.
I need someone who listens...and agrees.

Needs are food, water, air...in some cases shelter. Depending on the social norms around you, you might need education in order to be able to earn funds for those other needs. Or need a healthy body to grow and build for your needs.

We want to be happy. We want people to admire us. We even want sex.

AM and any other similar site does not fill a need.Though I will (somewhat) contradict myself and say SI fills a need. Without it, I know some of us BSs would be dead because of the great pain and trying to wade through it alone, not having the coping skills. I can't think of a single A that filled a need where the WS or AP would've died if they did not commit adultery.

[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 3:47 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)]


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11186 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Yep, my H was on AFF, just like AM. My IC told me these sites are considered a gateway drug to sex addiction, and the dealer is in your pocket at all times (cell phone). So yeah, hubs chose to cheat, but I still hate those sites.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
MissMarple
New Member
Member # 39151
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I was blissfully unaware that such horrid cheater sites existed, until I found out that my WH had been using them. Craigslist was free, (well, the meet-ups weren't, ugh) but he PAID MONEY for his Ashley Madison and Adult Friend Finder accounts. So. Much. Rage.


BS (me) 29
WH 29
Married for 7 years
One son age 4
D-day 4-29-13
Multiple hookers on Craigslist!!!
Getting ready to file.

Posts: 33 | Registered: May 2013
Tearsoflove
Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

My husband never signed up for AM but he did sign up for a couple others. However, the other day I was in his email looking for a registration code for something we both use and he had spam from Ashley Madison. It essentially said he should have an affair with married women because they would keep the secret because they had as much to lose as he did. I laughed out loud. His second affair was with a married woman. Sure, she kept the secret. But she was conspicuous so her husband started snooping and found out.

For both affairs, my husband was traveling for work. I wouldn't have known about the affair with the single woman if he hadn't told me (unless she decided to contact me)and if his second affair hadn't been with a married woman, I might not have known about that one either. Her husband called me a month after he got home from his trip.

The whole Ashley Madison premise is idiotic. The fact is, you might have an affair and it stay a secret. But the more people involved, the less likely that is. A real secret is only known by the one person who has it. Anytime any other person knows your secrets, there is potential for them getting out.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4089 | Registered: Sep 2005
surviving1963
Member
Member # 40393
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

Made my donation to this worthy cause. I agree - this website is a need... It helps to keep me sane. Hugs to all of you going through the same "hell" as me.


Me: 50
WH: 50 pro cake-eater, NPD, SA
Married 33 years
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12 (EA, probably PA)porn,ashleymadison, etc, etc
4 sons, 3 daughters
8 grandkids
Divorcing - finally

Posts: 118 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Utah
Mauimom1
Member
Member # 35848
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I signed up for this site for free, no profile or pics. I'm hoping to recognize someone from my neck of the woods and expose them to their spouse. It's absolutely disgusting and pathetic.

Posts: 82 | Registered: Jun 2012
Tripletrouble
Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I signed up too, so I could sort the truth from the bullshit. I went out there once. Me:
All I could think was "these fucked up people walk amongst us???"
My H had his face on there. I wonder every day who saw it. It's horrifying.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

XWH found the Owife on there. I find it both sickening and sad that we live in such an era of rampant, selfish entitlement that a site like that would make any money.

But, like Holly-Isis said... we confuse our wants and needs. That's why people are in ridiculous amounts of credit card debt, have affairs, and behave in other ways that feel good in the moment but will have a nasty ripple effect on not just their lives but in the lives of their loved ones for years to come.

I can't tell you how many students I've had over the years who come from households where the parents clearly put themselves first and consider their children an afterthought. Instead of thinking in the long term-- how can I best raise my children so that they have a shot at a stable, productive adulthood-- they think about what they want in the moment and then get angry when the school system doesn't raise their child for them, and the kid has lots of problems. I even had a kid write an essay about how his dad cheated on his mom and left the family for his AP. That jerk probably has no idea how much he's devastated his son, and he probably didn't give his son two thoughts when he started engaging in the A. His son hates him now and will no longer talk to his dad.

But hey, you know-- life is short; have an affair. They should also add to that tagline "because it's ALL about what YOU want right now, and nothing else matters."


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3606 | Registered: Oct 2011
outtanowhere
Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, September 11th (Wednesday)

I believe site like this exploit the broken people who are drawn into the notion that having an affair will make their dreams come true.

I'm ready to join the protest. Add in Craigslist, Backpage, Sexbook, etc......too many to count!


BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 736 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 38