SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
General
User Topic: His Gmail account was up. Please ease my mind.
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

I have the password to his email account, so he knows I can check it. I rarely go on it. Today it was already up on my computer. I looked it over a little. Then I noticed on the chat where he is supposed to have it say he is Invisible, instead it says this: Oops! You are not invisible because you're logged into Google Talk from another client, device, or location that doesn't support invisibility.

I don't know that much about computers and of course my messed up brain is thinking is he chatting with someone else on something else.

Does anyone know why it would say this? What does it mean? Should I be concerned?

I looked some stuff up on line about it and really found nothing.

Also if he is chatting on his phone on this gmail account, will the chat history show up from his phone on the account on the computer too?

By the way, about a half an hour later it went back to you are invisible.


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

Looks like a duck to me, jules.

I would go into investigative mode instead of confronting right away. If there is something shady going on, he will lie and delete. Nab that phone when he goes to bed and dig around.

(((julesinpain)))


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17260 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
aesir
Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

If he was chatting, the chat would also come up on the computer as well as the device he was using. As an example, when chats come in, they go to my computer and phone simultaneously.

It may have been something as simple as logging in to check email from his phone.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Simple
Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

If you're not sure you're in true R yet, then yea please investigate some more before you confront. It could be nothing, it could be everything...

When I am in real R and this happened, I told him how I was feeling and took his phone, his computer and sat down with him looking at what I am looking at. Then I told him I'm not ready for him to have chat accounts and they aren't allowed for a couple of years.

Hope that helps.

[This message edited by Simple at 4:15 PM, September 12th (Thursday)]


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
Lolati11
Member
Member # 34915
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

If he chats from his phone or sends emails you will see it in his account as long as that he doesn't clean the chat or delete the emails .Visibility is just based on if he wants his frinds to know he is online or not same thing like FB .I hope this help I would keep an eye on things and just lay low .Have you tried installing mobile spy?


Me:34
Him: 51
OW: a monster that I called friend before
D-Day:June 20,2011


You made a fool out of me and she made a fool out of you


Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2012
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

aesir: Logging into his account with his phone wouldn't change his chat visibility if he has it set to invisible. Plus, he is always logged into his account on his phone that I know of.

It just seems weird! Wondering if there is a secret way to chat with someone on his phone, but it doesn't show up in the gmail account. It seems it would show up. I know they have a lot of cheating apps these days :(. I guess I will look more into it.


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
DecimatedHeart
Member
Member # 37657
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

Mine has said that for months, and I can't figure out why. It's not my phone and it's not my tablet. So why does that message keep showing up on my computer? I'm usually pretty tech-savvy, but I think in this case it's just something glitching. I wouldn't automatically assume the worst.


Me, BS 41
Him WH 42 - LTA, EA/PA
Together 24 years
DD13 - the love of my life
DDay#1 11/10/2012
DDay#4 4/5/2013 (NC broken AGAIN)
A supposedly over 6/14/2013

All my posts are edited - I hate typos. :)


Posts: 129 | Registered: Nov 2012
TrulySad
Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

I'd ask him....very simply say "you left your gmail account open, but it was confusing because it made it seem like you were using the chat feature from another location. It's back to normal now, so I'd like to have us play with your phone to see if we can duplicate the same message. I just want to see why it's doing that, and get some peace of mind".

If he gets defensive, he has something to hide. I truly hope it's nothing though....


Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.


Posts: 451 | Registered: Jun 2013
inconnu
Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, September 12th (Thursday)

Google Talk has become Google Hangouts on phones. You can't be invisible on Hangouts (there is not a setting to allow you to do that).

If his usual setting on the computer is to be Invisible, but he's got gmail on his phone, that's why you're seeing the message.

Oh, and having the computer set to Invisible for chat means that he doesn't show up to his gmail contacts as available to chat.

[This message edited by inconnu at 8:10 PM, September 12th (Thursday)]


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12146 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
hobbeskat
Member
Member # 38805
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, September 13th (Friday)

^This, and it would show up on his email as well. I know in my case, Google Hangouts sometimes loads automatically and logs me in, I never realise it does until I get a message.

Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2013
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I feel there is something more to this, then it being nothing. I was an idiot and asked him about it last night, for some reason thinking he wouldn't lie to me about it.

I signed up on ebuddy myself and discovered my account said the same thing after I sign on. When I logged back out, it went back to "you are invisible" I used my email account to sign up on ebuddy. The chat did not show up on my history in my email.

So now thinking he was on another IM third client account. Not sure which one.

I asked him about what he thought it might be last night. He was very calm and actually the first words he said to me were, why would I have that if you think I have another phone? I thought that was a weird first answer to it. Especially since I have not mentioned another phone to him in a very long time. He was calm the whole time, but really wanted nothing to do with helping me figure out what it might be. Handed me his phone and told me to go ahead and look through it.

I don't know what to think anymore! I am just so tired of not living my life and this being my life :(


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, September 13th (Friday)

He was very calm and actually the first words he said to me were, why would I have that if you think I have another phone? I thought that was a weird first answer to it. Especially since I have not mentioned another phone to him in a very long time


Ugh. I'm sorry to be the conspiracy theorist, but I remember eating dinner with Crazz during his A, and he dropped his fork and looked up at me and said, out of the blue, "There's nobody else, but I think that we need to spend some time apart."

I was like, "Of COURSE there's nobody else! Why would you even say that? You're so TrUsTwOrThY!"

If he brought up having a second phone without you having mentioned it in regards to this recent chat thing, I'd be tearing his garage/car/office apart as soon as he falls asleep.

It could be nothing - truly, but my gut is screaming and I'm all the way over here.

(((jules)))

[This message edited by Jrazz at 1:17 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17260 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Thank you Jrazz! I was kind of thinking the same thing. Just was a weird reaction to what I asked him.

Might have to dig a little deeper. I have an idea that I just might do.

I need to know so I can move on one way or the other. So sick of being sick from all of this!! It is so draining and exhausting and a bad chapter in my life that needs to be put to rest!


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 6:08 PM, September 13th (Friday)

WH has two Gmail accounts, one always appears offline. The other one, when you log in for some stupid reason logs in 'online'. You have to change it to invisible, which he generally forgets as well he's checking his emails! (BTW I asked a couple of friends when I had coffee about this too, was checking SI on the train, they have the same problem).

I would not worry about this at all. I hate being a betrayed as everything can escalate very quickly. Put out your feelers if needed but please do not worry about this.

P.s I hope this is okay mods but I think this will really help Jules

http://www.switched.com/2011/02/03/gmail-check-where-youre-logged-in/

[This message edited by lauren123 at 6:10 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
julesinpain
Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Thank you lauren123!! I will check it out! Hopefully this is nothing but the devil messing with my mind! Grrrr


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
AroundTheWorld
New Member
Member # 40192
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I have to agree with Lauren and inconnu.

I get the same message on my gmail acct on my computer because I have my phone and my tablet set up to automatically download new emails. However this only started after I changed over from google talk to google hangouts. It is a glitch with the new Hangouts app that I personally hate. I like to be able to change my status to invisible so that I don't get chat popups at work when I need to focus.

If you are worried keep your eyes peeled, but don't let this be the reason.


Me: BS 30
Him: WS 32, serial cheater
No Children
Together 11.5years, M 1year
33 OW in 7yrs. 33 is not a typo
D-Day#1 - June 21, 2013
D-Day#2 - August 1, 2013
Separated

Posts: 8 | Registered: Aug 2013
disasterpiece
New Member
Member # 15545
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

I don't post a lot - but I feel like some of the responses are misleading.

Read the message again "you're logged into Google Talk from another CLIENT, DEVICE, or LOCATION."

He is using that gmail account to use Google Talk somewhere else other than the web browser that supports invisibility.

You can use Google Talk in about a 100 different places.

For example - Trillian. Trillian is a client that let's you add your yahoo, Gchat, hotmail, etc. all into one client so you're not logging into several accounts at once & have to have several applications up. I have not used it in years, but I remember it was able to support invisibility.

So you are asking about possible avenues that do not support invisibility through google chat:

Here is a list of some common applications that cause this:
Google Talk (stand alone client)
Google Hangouts
Web services such as eBuddy, Boxbe, splashtop streamer, mobileMe, Talkatone
Mobile phone apps including Gmail on some phones
Any other third party chat client/social network that connects to your Google account might do the same.
You don't need to be signed in to the third party sites to create this issue.

If he uses Google Hangout, I would expect this to be your culprit. If not, there are several apps that allow you to connect your google account to them via phone. That, in itself, is not unusual at all for people to do.

Best of luck.


Posts: 36 | Registered: Jul 2007
Topic Posts: 17