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User Topic: Ridiculous M Issues - Spooning
ReunitePangea
Member
Member # 37529
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I was reading JFO where I read someone listed that their BS didn't make lasagna delicious as a M issue. As much as I love excellent lasagna, I thought it would be fun to list ridiculous M issues that have been brought to your attention.

In my case, one of my M issues that has been brought to my attention multiple times is that I put the spoons in the dishwasher wrong on occasion. Spoons are to go in the dishwasher with the scooping part down and the handle up. Also, no more than 2 spoons per compartment should be loaded. These rules of course are to insure that all spoons are properly clean after the dishwashing cycle.

Of course when I was putting the spoons in the dishwasher incorrectly after worked all day, shopped for the groceries, cooked the meal, got the kids a bath and put them to bed, my WW was likely being spooned by her OM. Hmmmm....I guess cleanliness of spoons is different depending on the type of spoon involved.

What are your ridiculous M issues you are guilty of?


BS - Me 38
WS - Wife 39
D-Day - Oct 12
Married 10 years
OM1 - 12-year LTA
OM2 - 9 month A turned into open relationship with couple for another 1 1/2 years

Posts: 489 | Registered: Nov 2012
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, September 13th (Friday)

FWH told MC that I was a control freak. MC asked for FWH to give a specific instance of how I am controlling. FWH had to think for at least 5 minutes and finally came up with "Milkshake doesn't let me have the tv remote control." Thats it. He couldn't come up with any other time I was "controlling".

ETA: Happy ending! I totally owned by habit of controlling tv remote. We now happily share. I watch his NASCAR races (boring, am I wrong to want a crash for some excitement?) and listen to those good ole boys on hunting shows that whisper whilst in the woods. (it is like fingernails on a slateboard to me) But, wait, he still doesn't watch my vampire, werewolf or zombie shows. Hhhhmmmm! Okay, he watches all my Discovery ID shows and DWTS with me. We're good!

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 1:06 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9793 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Jennifer99
Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I got some nasty yesterday for not putting the shopping list in order of the path through the store - forget that I was filling it out while driving in the car somewhere else to hand off and quickly because someone else who had NO where to be didn't bother to do it.

I just said "really?" and laughed and laughed and laughed.


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
putonahappyface
Member
Member # 30269
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Pangea, I had to chuckle over your spoon rules. I must confess to being a bit ocd when it comes to the dishwasher. I can only surmise that I latch onto it as one of the few areas in my life that I can keep orderly & organized. My H is hopeless when it comes to loading it efficiently, but I welcome his help too much to fuss over this. I just thank him, wait until he walks off & rearrange as needed. Everybody wins :) There you go...what I've learned over 25 years of marriage.


BS (me) - 50; SAWH- 51 (hurtherbadly)
Married 27 yrs
2 DS - 21&17
Dday 6/4/2010. 2 EA/PA
11/15/12 update: discovered porn addiction
4 years out: M is strong; FWH is a new man :)


Posts: 721 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Bluegrass
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 1:17 PM, September 13th (Friday)

The problems were, before DDay, I was too good for him.

Now, I'm not loving enough, I don't initiate sex enough, I'm standoffish, yada, yada, yada. You would think that discovering your H has spent your ENTIRE M lying to you might explain some of those behaviors, but according to him...no. According to him those are all in the past and he'll never act that way again. So we're all good, right?


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.


Posts: 1168 | Registered: Jul 2012
lieshurt
Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I didn't talk enough when we were in the car.


Choices, Chances, Changes.....You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.

Posts: 13803 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
stunnedin12
Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I didn't talk enough when we were in the car

I got that one too!

Of course I had also been told I could only talk during a commercial!! (radio and tv). We just went around and around about this again on Wednesday. I told him that after YEARS of being told to wait for a commercial that he can d*mn well wait for me to decide to speak to him again!

I was also told:

I express appreciation without realizing I am saying, 'thank you' and I need to remember that words have meaning - THAT one went over real well!

A personal kitchen favorite is that I don't "clean as you go". He still can't grasp the reality that while I am making a meal I am also doing laundry, homeschooling children, etc. I'll clean that kitchen when I get around to it and it's always clean after dinner.

I guess I should have told him about some of MY pet peeves so he wouldn't have had to go have an affair with chickie so I would have a marriage issue with him!


ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jan 2013
LearningToRun
Member
Member # 31353
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I let an outdoor plant die in the record freeze.
Showed i lacked "responsibility" and was not reconciliation material.

Thank goodness that plant died, my life is way better.

[This message edited by LearningToRun at 2:47 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


Posts: 273 | Registered: Feb 2011
idkam
Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I use to love watching Law&Order, i would sat and watch the marathon all friggin day... The ex would say " you need to careful what you feed your mind" the Bible says this and that about shows like that... WTFu:;k Eva.. L&O didnt make me want to have an affair.. on the other hand looking at the swim suit issue online flirting with every cutie that you saw,and watching women pop their arse on music videos made you seek another so maybe you should have been more careful what you fed your
damn mind.... Asshole....


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1801 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
Pentup
Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, September 13th (Friday)

My favorite I have shared before. I did not always dry the BACK of my (then) long hair.

I know. I am a horrible person.
I am a horrible person who now takes allllllllll the time I need to dry the back of my now shorter hair. Lottttttssssss of time.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Jennifer99
Member
Member # 39551
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, September 13th (Friday)

OMG the hair one made me remember this one - I don't always tie my shoes so I am lazy.

Putting my shoes on to walk to the car, ride in the car, then get out and take my shoes off to go in a family members house. I don't tie - I tuck the laces in. I have them tied if we go for a walk or something.


Posts: 556 | Registered: Jun 2013
SadFlower
Member
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Apparently, my chief defect in my former marriage was that I put the dirty dishes on the wrong side of the kitchen when clearing the table. No wonder the poor man had to have an A.


Me: BW, age 66
Him: WH, age 64
Married 19 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA


Posts: 403 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, September 13th (Friday)

No wonder the poor man had to have an A.

I didn't cook or drive. That made me a shit wife, apparently.

I asked if OWUglyIndian cooked or drove.

Nope.

I hope someone comes in and shares the corn story?


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5608 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
summerain
Member
Member # 37439
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Did not think it was good enough for him to watch five days of test match cricket whilst playing his stupid PC cricket game of the same test. Whilst him expecting me to sit on the couch and discuss player stats... ummm.... I don't watch the cricket and I had no idea what the stats were about.

Did not think it was a good idea to get foxtel SOLELY for the cricket. (the equivalent of cable, quite expensive for us only watching ONE CHANEL) F*** did he think that I would be happy with him watching the cricket pretty much 24/7 (test cricket between other nations)

Thought it was mean when I thought it was hilarious when the commentator had nothing to talk about but "back in the day when we had fruit baskets".... and promptly discussed how good the fruit baskets were for HALF AN HOUR. (Test matches are so fucking boring)

This year I'm getting us out of the house and I'll buy him a six pack and can go watch the godamn cricket with his friends. (he's so cute when they appreciate his "amazing knowledge" about the cricket).

Told him that I was sick of eating cheese on toast for dinner every night whilst the cricket was on and could we please eat earlier than 1 am? (was scared we would get overweight)

Hence, most of our issues revolve around the cricket. However he's very cute when he watches it and this year wants to start his own 're-enactment of the tests cricket team'. It seems bad when I write it out, but it's actually quite funny and maybe a little passive aggressive fighting. Except for the Foxtel, I put my foot down on that one.

Gotta love the dedication


OW1 inadvertently let me know WH loves English breakfast tea. Never ever saw him drink it. And I never will.

Posts: 818 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Australia
HFSSC
Member
Member # 33338
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I wasn't fun anymore because I stopped drinking. (Um, I got sober because you and your family kept hassling me about blowing our life up every other year)

Oh, and I didn't support him. Because I didn't go to the county fair to cheer him on in a freaking DEMOLITION DERBY. After having a horrible stomach virus for 5 days. So sorry I didn't feel like going to sit on metal bleachers and use porta potties surrounded by hundreds of drunk rednecks so I could watch you intentionally wreck a car and get injuries that weren't covered by insurance because you were being a freaking idiot!


Me, 47
Him, 40 (JMSSC)
married 17 years. In R. We are making it. The past does not define who we are today.

Posts: 2776 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: South Carolina
heartache101
Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, September 13th (Friday)

My husband said she had a terrible husband (OW). Blah blah I said really! What the hell are you!
Did I go crying to another man. My husband dont give me attention? He is never around I feel so lonely! Hell no! Why because I am not a cheater!

Then his therapist said that I am the queen up on a pedestal!
I told her he can take his pedestal and stick it up his ass! I didnt ask for it. I thought she woukd stroke. Omg I forgot all about that one!

Oh and on the second one I kid you not! She reminded him of a younger me!


There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3188 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
TheRealDeal
Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I hope someone comes in and shares the corn story?

StrongButBroken, not sure if this is the corn story you were looking for but...

We had gotten into a stupid tiff. It was over Corn on the Cob. Yes, seriously, corn on the cob.
Apparently, after 18 YEARS he didn't like corn on the cob. He went on and on how it was a waste of energy to heat up the water and didn't like eating it off the cob. So guess what, I said okay (not very nicely)and we had corn out of the can that night.

That stupid tiff - over CORN ON THE FREAKIN' COB - is the reason he gave me. He said that it pushed him over the edge and that afterwards he went and slept with OW for the first time.

He of course now denies ever saying any of that but I wrote it down in my journal. Verbatim. because it was just the dumbest thing I had ever heard. He said it on July 1, 2013 around 4pm in the afternoon.

Don't try and gaslight me buddy, I write it all down.


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 252 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
SisterMilkshake
Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:34 PM, September 13th (Friday)

TheRealDeal ~ I am so sorry, but that is freakin' hilarious, but so sad that it is true. Not that the corn made him do it, but that he actually said that.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9793 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Good grief, I don't even know where to start.

Dust bothered him. He didn't want me vacuuming during the day because it aggravated his allergies, and he didn't want me to do it in the evenings because it bothered the kids when they were watching TV.

Dishes. He didn't want me doing dishes before he went to bed because the noise disturbed him when he was watching TV, and he didn't want me doing them AFTER he went to bed because it kept him awake. However, he also didn't want to wake up to dirty dishes. He would actually describe me doing dishes to his friends as "She's SLAMMING dishes again. just to bother me." HELLOOOO, McFly!!! If you SLAM glass dishes they BREAK.


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
TheRealDeal
Member
Member # 39560
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, September 13th (Friday)

thanks SMS - just ridiculous isn't it? I mean seriously...corn on the cob? and that he actually said it all out loud.

He's come up with some real doozies as many WS tend to do. I've posted a few of his words-of-wisdom on a different thread. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=505071

I wish I was making it all up, or at the very least, as he recently said, "one day we'll look back on this and laugh" I find that highly unlikely to happen

edited for typo

[This message edited by TheRealDeal at 8:14 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


Me: 45, him: 54
together 18 years
DDay1 March 2013, Dday2 April 27, 2013, Dday3 June 1, 2013
We are in R and trying to make it
Never lose yourself trying to hang onto someone who doesn't care about losing you.

Posts: 252 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Northeast
doesitgetbetter
Member
Member # 18429
Default  Posted: 8:29 PM, September 13th (Friday)

I was a terrible mother for making my kids fold their own clothes. And I was a horrible wife for not washing my H's clothes that were on the floor in the corner of the room on his side of the bed... where I couldn't see them.


DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Okay... this is totally true:

He told me that I was too upset when Borders closed.

Yep. That's a reason for cheating on me. I was bummed that my favorite chain bookstore closed, and I apparently shouldn't have expressed any emotions or feelings about it. You know, because I cried every night, talked about it incessantly, said we couldn't have sex because I was too sad about Borders...

Yeah, you just can't make this kind of lunacy up.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
tryingagain74
Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Oh, and I almost forgot-- I watched too much TV. You know how much I watched?

Six hours a WEEK.

I had a few shows that I enjoyed winding down with in the evening after the kids went to bed. He hated that with a passion-- I was supposed to put the kids to bed, jump into my rubber suit, and play passion palace with him every night, not watch TV!

Sorry, XWH. The TV didn't try to awkwardly grope me and call it foreplay. It was the better companion to have in the evening.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
jb3199
Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Our dog was peeing in the house.

Let me rephrase that: our pound dog that SHE went and chose from the pound, was peeing in the house.

As for loading silverware--EVERYBODY knows the handles face up. Duh.

[This message edited by jb3199 at 5:36 AM, September 14th (Saturday)]


BH-47
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 2071 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
LeopoldB
Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, September 13th (Friday)

All tableware faces up in the dishwasher basket except sharp knives which face down.

Come on, people. We are a society.


Posts: 212 | Registered: Sep 2013
emotionalgirl
Member
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Hmmm lets see...

I read too much...so shoot me I don't like to watch mindless drivel on tv!

I don't let him talk without interrupting ( only when I am hearing the story for the 50th time when he is drunk...how many times do I have to sit through it?)

But my favourite....
I didn't wash his favourite socks ( yes you read right my 48 year old WH has favourite socks and although he had 20 pairs in his drawer, his favourite weren't clean...oh the horror!)

[This message edited by emotionalgirl at 10:16 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 373 | Registered: Aug 2013
momoffive
Member
Member # 27352
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, September 13th (Friday)

SAWH tried to blame his affairs and other forms of acting out on:

"My wife took my hobbies away."

He has always hunted, fished, golfed, watched all of the football and nascar that he could. What had him upset was that the gym that he was going to to lift weights went out of business and we had 3 kids all playing baseball and softball on 3 separate teams and it caused him to not be able to play on a church softball team (OW3 kept the books).

I had nothing to do with the gym and softball but it was easier to blame me and use it to justify his affairs.


BW 44, SAWH 45(sorry1)
M24 yrs
DD 23,16,13 DS 21, 19
Dday1-7/3/09 EA OW4
Dday2-9/1/09 PA OW4
Dday3 3/14/10 Farmville sexting, OW3
Dday4 3/13/11 Secret texting, would be OW5-she said no
Dday5 8/2/11 PA 10 years ago OW1, kissing 4 years ago OW2

Posts: 1123 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Pennsylvania
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, September 13th (Friday)

Our roof sprung a leak and I didn't fix it by the time it rained again two days later. (she was already in the affair at this point but this was the straw that broke the camel's back!)

[This message edited by h0peless at 11:31 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


Posts: 1731 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:40 PM, September 13th (Friday)

TheRealDeal, YES - that's the one!!

Corn on the cob. Sheesh.

What kind of crazy person doesn't love corn on the cob??? I would have divorced him just for the corn blasphemy.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5608 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
courageouscat
Member
Member # 34298
Default  Posted: 3:23 AM, September 14th (Saturday)

It has been brought to my attention that I am an uncaring wife b/c I bought whole grain bread instead of soft white bread; if I cared about him, I would remember that he doesn't like whole wheat or whole grain bread. And add that to making brown rice instead of white....gasp!!! I am so mean!


ME - 50 something
WH - 50 something
Kids - 3 boys, Adult, Teen, Teen
Married - 26 years
Together - 29 years
EA 10/11 -12/11; 100% NC 1/18/11

Posts: 113 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Out in the big wide open
EasyDoesIt
Member
Member # 29514
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

As for the silverware in the dishwasher thing....I see both sides.

Many people do not wash their hands after using the restroom. Plus, our hands are just gross and covered in bacteria. If you put the silverware in with the handles UP, then when you put the dishes away, you don't smear your germs on the portion of the utensil that goes in your mouth (learned that in Epidemiology).

If you put them in with the handles down, you must be sure to put them away by grasping them beneath the part of the utensil that goes in your mouth.

Not that I care one way or the other because I live alone!! YAY!!


Anything less than full disclosure and total transparency is pure bullshit. WARNING! No emotional pollution allowed.

Posts: 3698 | Registered: Sep 2010 | From: Georgia
sohurtbyhim
Member
Member # 33057
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

When my WH gave me my laundry list of everything I did wrong in our marriage, one of his justifications for the A was that I MADE him eat peas.

Now whenever I bring that up to him, he doesn't "remember" ever saying it and can't believe he did. Just crazy.


Me - BS
Him - WH
Married 30 Years
D-Day #1 August 17, 2010
D-Day #2 October 19, 2010
D-Day #3 February 12, 2011

Posts: 299 | Registered: Aug 2011
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

During the time he was cheating on me,he got really pissy because I bought bacon. Which was odd,because it's not like bacon has never been brought into my house,ya know? Oh! And nuts. (lol) I made brownies and put pecans in them.

At the time,he told me he couldn't chew these things because his teeth were "all messed up." Again..odd..because his teeth were fine..and he was eating other things with no problem.

But I stopped buying bacon..and no more pecans in the brownies.

Then I got over that nonsense and continued buying and cooking both.

It was after dday,though. Because prior to dday,I was turning myself inside out to try and make him happy.

The other day we were at the store,and I jokingly asked if he wanted to get some bacon. He didn't get the joke..so I reminded him that there was a "no bacon" ban in the house a few years ago. And he gave me that classic answer...

"I don't remember that."

ETA: @SisterMilkshake...why the Hell are those men whispering..after they have just shot their deer?? Do they think the animals in the woods didn't hear that gunshot? Really??

[This message edited by confused615 at 3:35 PM, September 14th (Saturday)]


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7671 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 33