User Topic: Off to the conference, together...
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

We are leaving in approx. 6 hours for my H's conference out west. As some of you know this will be the first time I see the AP. Wouldn't it be great if she wasn't there?!

I was in the bathroom putting some things in my makeup bag and my H said, "You told me to hug you when you looked sad. You look sad right now." I guess I did. Part of it was leaving my boys, the other part is of course, seeing the AP. This is where the A got its start.

Here we are going to a beautiful location, with so many special things planned. I said, "I just wish this wasn't so. That it was all fun and there was not...*this* hanging over us." He hugged me and told me he would be with me every step of the way.

Ok...goodnight all. You can be sure I will be in touch.


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2462 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

Wouldn't it be great if she wasn't there?!
Yes, definitely!

Have a great time and know that all of us here have got your back, LA44.

BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

I hope you have a lovely time. I have been so impressed by your grace and strength.

FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

I edit often because I make a lot of typos. ☺️

Posts: 1499 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, September 14th (Saturday)

Go and do all those fun things... Made it a redo but I know what you mean..
FYI had a good time with my coworkers and I was happy yesterday. I ended up having to go alone to the event. No OW there .. Thank god would have been nerve wracking alone..
Have a good time and good luck..

Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 1:58 AM, September 15th (Sunday)

I hope you enjoy every minute of it! Especially the minutes your husband is completely focused on you - looking at you, touching you, talking to you, etc, etc, etc - in front of her.

If hoping she can't be there isn't option, then I hope she looks tired, worn out, and used up. I hope the mere fact that he's there with you eats her alive from the inside out. I hope she's consumed by guilt when she realizes how awesome you are and everyone at the conference adores you. I hope her confidence shatters when she sees that you are able to hold your head high, stand by your man, and get on with life despite her. I hope she tosses in bed feeling lonely while your husband can't keep his hands off you -- both hot and heavy in your room, and lovingly affectionate outside.

I would absolutely love the opportunity to flaunt my marriage in front of the OW who tried to lure my husband away with all her naked pictures, expensive gifts, and cheap words.

You got this, Mama. Cheering for you!

{Edited because I was told I can't vent or call anyone names here. So I deleted 2 adjectives, and changed another word. I'm a rule follower, so I apologize if my post broke one.}

[This message edited by kickboxer at 9:53 PM, September 15th (Sunday)]

BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 2:28 AM, September 15th (Sunday)

I second everything ^^^^ kickboxer wrote! We're all there with you in spirit!!!!

Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 715 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
sinsof thefather
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 3:15 AM, September 15th (Sunday)

Kickboxer nailed it. Just remember, as much as you have never seen her - she's never seen you either - and she's certainly never seen you and your husband lovingly *together*. Try to give her a show to remember!

I truly hope she feels ashamed, humiliated, thrown away, rejected, used and IGNORED when she looks at the two of you together. She will know you are making a point by being there, and frankly I don't think there's any way that she won't get that point loud and clear. Whatever she 'thought' she knew about you and your marriage - the reality is just going to be revealing itself to her.

Hold you head up LA44 - show her what you are. A classy lady at a conference with her husband - not skulking about in corners and hotel rooms, but publicly enjoying what's hers by right, loving and MOVING ON with her husband on her side and by her side. While she, rejected, looks on. I know who I'd rather be.

LA, you'll be in my thoughts. I'll be sending every bit of positive mojo I have your way. Just remember you have everyone here with you in spirit - you deal with this anyway you need to, to get through this intact. (((Hugs)))

[This message edited by sinsof thefather at 3:16 AM, September 15th (Sunday)]

...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1882 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 5:31 AM, September 15th (Sunday)

Be strong. Communicate your feelings. Work together. And Have fun!!!

You can do it!!!

BS 40
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2635 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

Thank you IS peeps! I feel the positive "mojo" sinsof. I am touched by all of your posts. Kickboxer, I have to say that what you wrote could possibly be written by my bf. We all have a twin out there!

I will do my yoga moves for strength and stay centered, planks, bridges, sun sals and remember my breathing. I will do some cardio to get rid of the anxiety and I will think of my boys who know their mom is strong but not mean. Finally, I will let my H do all of the things he has promised to do to help me.

And I will look hot!
LA out west

Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2462 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
sinsof thefather
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

And I will look hot!

Oh yeeeah.

...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1882 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Member # 34319
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

Go LA! You have got this. You 2 will be great. Thinking Of you. Just be honest with yourself and your husband about what you need and how you feel.

D-day: Christmas 2011
D-day 2: 3/28/2013

Married for over 15 years
2 beautiful boys in elementary school

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Maya Angelou

Posts: 1479 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

LA, here's yet another SIer rooting for you! I hope that you have a great time with your H and that the OW...well, what Kickboxer said. Hold your head high. She's the one who should be shrinking in shame, dying inside. You sound as though you are confident and in control. You'll nail this.

Please let us know how the conference went!

Me: BW, age 66
Him: WH, age 64
Married 19 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA

Posts: 408 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, September 15th (Sunday)

Another SIer anxious to hear how well things went. I have faith that it will work out just perfectly.

me - BS (40s)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA then PA
In MC & Reconciling
An affair is a personal crisis, not a relationship.

I edit, therefore I am.

Posts: 2065 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Member # 15162
Red  Posted: 2:49 PM, September 15th (Sunday)


This is the reconciliation forum. There is no name-calling or venting in this forum. Please post accordingly.

FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live

Posts: 37405 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Topic Posts: 14