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User Topic: feeling awkward
chipmunk41
New Member
Member # 40694
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, September 17th (Tuesday)

day 4...

My h is really trying to make it right again. So over the weekend he was helping around the house, taking care of stuff, spending time with the kids, even being in the same room with me.
And today he called me from work and left me a message,asking me how my day was going?
Not sure why but I feel overwhelmed by his sudden attention. Is it normal to feel like this? I know that he is trying but it's just too much...


wake me up when it's over...

Posts: 45 | Registered: Sep 2013
Marathonwaseasy
Member
Member # 40674
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, September 17th (Tuesday)

Wow!
We are d day twins. And my DH is being incredible too. Mostly it's ok. I can handle the compliments

But then he said we should have another baby and that was way too much...


Me BS, 41
Him WS, 45
EA and PA (PA for 11 months)
DDay 13/9/13
3 children - 15,12,3
WS has bipolar, no excuse...

"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Ireland
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)

It's completely normal.

If R is what you want, be sure to communicate to him that you see the effort he is making, but have been mindf#$%ed so badly that you will not be able to receive it properly for quite some time.

Maybe don't put it that way, but, you know...

If he's worth it, he will be making the effort regardless of your response and will realize that this is a long-term-behavior-overhaul project, not a "But I gave you roses - why aren't you over it??" kind of thing.

I'm really glad he's trying.


For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot

Posts: 14581 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
chipmunk41
New Member
Member # 40694
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)

I guess they feel remorse at this point...

Having another baby? oh jeez.. way too much.


wake me up when it's over...

Posts: 45 | Registered: Sep 2013
kickboxer
Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, September 18th (Wednesday)

We're about 10 weeks out now...the lovey dovey has definitely slowed down, but I see some changes that I'd like to believe are permanent.

He has expressed some dicouragement this week that I'm not "moving forward" fast enough. He feels I'm "stuck" and "dwelling". It was a convo that left me feeling drained, and unsure if reconciliation is really what he wants. It was fleeting in the scheme of things. He's been back to being very loving/thoughtful/kind in the days since.

Neither of us have dealt with this chaos before -- we're both finding moments of frustration and discouragement...and we're trying our best to work through it together.

This entire experience has taken such an emotional toll.


BW - 41 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 247 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
MJane
Member
Member # 40571
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

To make you laugh - and I posted this closer to my d-day (am 16 days now) - two days after the revelation from OW my H had oysters, roses and champagne (not sure what he thought we had to celebrate....not touched any of them....). I haven't been getting the compliments - I can see it is a double-edged sword - part of me longs for them as I know how many love notes he sent to OW (she was sure to gift me the package of mails, most of which I haven't and won't read). It has been years since he has told me why I am special to him and I know that after what has happened it would, in any event, be years before I believe any words from him telling me I am his "love"....I know my H is in the school of thought of rug-sweepers - he'd like to forget it all happened and actually said this was our chance for a "fresh start"...not exactly best of circumstances for that....his relief at finally "choosing" certainly isn't mine from just finding out what a cheat he is

Posts: 158 | Registered: Sep 2013
sparklezombie
Member
Member # 40095
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Same things here. Including saying he wants another baby.

It's awkward and hard. I don't know how I feel most of the time and I'm just angry a lot. We start with a new mc tomorrow. Maybe that will help


BS: Me
WH: Husband
Married 11.5 years
Two false R's.
Status: R, I guess. Trying to find the path of least regret...

Posts: 219 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere on the Eastern Seaboard
undonelife
Member
Member # 38421
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I told my FWH I'd probably be a bitch for at least a year maybe longer Like if or not


Me: BS 53 Him: WH 51
M: 28 years
DDay 11/25/12 TT 9/9/13
OW:20 yrs younger McOW
Kids: 2 teens

Posts: 175 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Dark Hell
Topic Posts: 8