Just Found Out
User Topic: Severe pit stomach
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)

Happy Hank the WS is supposedly taking some time to reflect--I mentioned it might be a good idea for him to do this, without distractions. He wanted to stay at a buddy's place (buddy is out of town) but I said how can you reflect with a great view of the lake, the mountains, hiking paths, and a picture-in-picture huge screen TV ?

Instead, Happy Hank got a hotel room for 3 nights & 4 days.

I told him I put a locator on his cell, and that I'd be stopping by the hotel once or twice daily, and if I found him with anyone, he might want to call the po-po (because I'd rip him a new one).

His phone is too old for a locator, but he doesn't know that.

He asked what if he's at the movies or something, when I stop by...

Really? REALLY? THIS is how you reflect and be introspective about us? Thinking of this as a mini va-cay? Going to the movies?

So now I have time to go through the trash in his room. Lots of receipts for cash withdrawals for the past couple of months. Not sure if that's a normal amount or not because we keep separate accounts. I'll have to get access to his online info at the bank and check back a few months or years.

Then, I go into the Man Cave and look around and find, on the back of a piece of paper, a note he wrote that says "Fred's b'day, 4-5 yrs" and the city.

He told me, AND he told our pastor, that he met the skanky prostitute at a birthday party at Fred's house 6 or 7 years ago and that's how the A started.

I guess Happy Hank is taking notes so he can remember what lie he told me, or else he totally made up The Fictitious Fred.

So yeah, the A was only 8 months long, other deets that she only did a handjob and bj on him, & they met in a bar for a billiards league (she was supposedly the girlfriend of a rival team member), then the Trickle Truth came out and the A was over 7 years long, he (supposedly) met her at this Fred's house, she had nothing to do with bars or billiards, and they did genital penetrative sex, cunnilingus, etc.

I have severe pit stomach.

[This message edited by Hope2B at 9:49 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]

Me: early 60s
Him: 65 yrs old, LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth Days: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
His affair--says it was only 8 times 1x/mo, then found out it was 7 YEARS 2-3x/mo or maybe ever 4x/mo

Posts: 359 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 5:05 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)


What are you doing to be kind to yourself during this separation to reflect?

Have you read up on the 180? It might help you detach a little

Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 12 yrs
2 DDs and DSs all under 10
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.

Posts: 4509 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)

I've been following your story. I am so sorry he is being such an a$s. You deserve better, but I get where you're coming're protecting your assets, your home, and still you love him. UGH! Wouldn't it be nice to be able to just turn off our feelings?!

I agree with something for YOU while he's gone. Some pampering, a movie, maybe get a 3rd legal opinion???

Sending HUGS and good thoughts your way!!!


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)

You don't "turn off" your feelings - what you do is "turn in" to yourself.

When you live inside yourself, your dependence on external validation decreases to the point where your tolerance for fuckery vanishes.


Posts: 6650 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Topic Posts: 4