SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
The Book Club
User Topic: Surrendered Wife
Outdoornut1
Member
Member # 35446
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)

Has anyone read this book or have any experiance with it?
Reviews seem to be good.
Would like to get my WW to read this but she is still in the fog.


Me-BS
Wife-WS
D-day- 1/17/2012
2 Beautiful Girls
Future- unknown
"You are 50% responsible for the problems before the affair..WS is 100% responsible for choosing to cheat." Confused615

Posts: 157 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Northern NY
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)

I have have not read the book, but I have found a few sample chapters and I think that the title is horrible.

Just by the few chapters i read, it is very clear that Surrendering is not the proper term for what this book is preaching. I also think that surrender has such a negitive conotation that may not be good to try and get your WW to read it.

If this book was called something like how to live in balance. How to work in harmony with your husband. The beauty of a ligher load.

The books seems to focus on the fact that woman seem to see control as power, and that having power makes us less vulerable and manipulated. To give up control and power, we lend ourselves to be used, abused, and otherwise unappreciated - therefore, we tend to lean towards controling rather then a more balanced form of a relationship.

Have you read it yet?

I think i may see if i can find a copy at a library.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1757 | Registered: Sep 2012
Outdoornut1
Member
Member # 35446
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)

I have not read it yet except for the sample chapter and checking out other sites/blogs.
Yes, I agree the title is the most difficult to get past (comparing to the sample).
In order for this too work the husband also has to know how to love and respect his wife in return or it will turn into submision (doormat)and fail miserable.
My wife fits into the controlling/emasculating mode which has caused alot of issues from me.
My library does not carry this book.


Me-BS
Wife-WS
D-day- 1/17/2012
2 Beautiful Girls
Future- unknown
"You are 50% responsible for the problems before the affair..WS is 100% responsible for choosing to cheat." Confused615

Posts: 157 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Northern NY
Undefinabl3
Member
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)

Also, I think the other possible hurdle with this book is that the woman in question almost needs to already know that there is a control issue to begin with.

If she doesn't think that this is her issue, then she will read the book negitively right off the bat. If she is willing to admit that she has issues with control, she will probably be more open to getting over the title and gleaning the information that is needed from it.

I wonder if there are other books that have a more positive way of saying the same thing?


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1757 | Registered: Sep 2012
Outdoornut1
Member
Member # 35446
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)

Ahhhhh, Undeniabl3, you have really hit on/explained my issue much better then I would have.
When she read "How to help your spouse heal..." it was absolutely no help at all. She follows the path of the 'unsucessful rebuilder'.
I very much see your point and realize I'm just fighting a losing battle.....
Thanks for the input!


Me-BS
Wife-WS
D-day- 1/17/2012
2 Beautiful Girls
Future- unknown
"You are 50% responsible for the problems before the affair..WS is 100% responsible for choosing to cheat." Confused615

Posts: 157 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Northern NY
Topic Posts: 5