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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Finally have a court date!
copout
Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, September 18th (Wednesday)

I refused further mediation after three hours got us no where.
Tell me what to expect from court?
Are there advantages or disadvantages?


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 293 | Registered: Jan 2009
ChoosingHope
Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, September 18th (Wednesday)

Court can take a long time. It's very expensive. A real divorce court case can cost upwards of $100,000 per party. And most importantly, you lose all control over the outcome. Your future is entirely in the hands of a judge, who is a stranger who has a very limited period of time to figure out everything that's going on in your case. Some judges are lazy. Or biased. You never know who you will get.

If at all possible, you might want to keep the door open for some sort of settlement talks. If it's possible.

Good luck. I'm sure others will chime in here. I'm guessing very few will say that going to court is anything except a last resort.


Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
MovingUpward
Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

Judges will vary in their rulings too so you'll need to find out who your judge will be and they will help you figure out what is to be expected. Most states have child support calculators and spousal support calculators. Many have a default visitation schedule. So understanding what those are will give you a better idea of what the outcome could be. Does your H have a lawyer? Were there any areas that you could agree on in mediation? I don't believe that you need to have the entire D settled in mediation, but if you are settled on some aspects then get those down in writing and signed.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52612 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
crisp
Member
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

It all depends on the variables. In a small asset, short term marriage with no kids, there is little to argue/worry about. The first thing you need to do is identify the issues. Then you can work on them--and maybe get some guidance from SIers.


Endeavor to persevere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEzTwKemwY

Posts: 410 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
copout
Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Married 23 yrs. 2 adult children,no debt,both retired.
It should be easy but he won't let that happen.


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 293 | Registered: Jan 2009
crisp
Member
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, September 20th (Friday)

No real estate or other valuable property to fight over? Sounds like he will find it difficult to isolate anything that will entertain any judge. As a lawyer, (no-not family law)I could see this as an opportunity for you to be able to do it yourself. Almost every court has sample forms for divorce and these type of courts are user friendly. On the other hand don't even think about going into criminal or commercial courts pro se. They would eat you up.


Endeavor to persevere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEzTwKemwY

Posts: 410 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
crisp
Member
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I should add that you should make sure you know how your circumstances fit into the formulas on division of retirement income and possible spousal support.


Endeavor to persevere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csEzTwKemwY

Posts: 410 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
copout
Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, September 20th (Friday)

We have two residences and other assets to squabble over.


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 293 | Registered: Jan 2009
homewrecked2011
Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Ours was settled the day before. My friend's was settled the morning of the hearing.

In both cases, both attys said to settle, but we were fighting over stuff up until that day.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2214 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 9