User Topic: he texted both me And the OW a pic of MY son!
Member # 37089
Default  Posted: 7:24 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

They're "just friends" now.. so you know...he was just "randomly" texting the Married woman that destroyed that little boy's world a cute little picture (you know, to show how fucking awesome a dad he is )and the god damn idiot sent it both me AND the same fucking text! So I open my phone last night to find both her name (Bitchface) and his name pop up in my unread messages. Immediately the PTSD kicks in and I am having an anxiety attack before I even open her text. Now I know they still talk (Probably still screw around too) but I have not had to deal with her really, or spoken to her, etc. in a long time. I just keep hearing how she's trying to figure out if her marriage is done, blah blah, they only chat occasionally....he's not seeing her, wtf ever...I don't believe a word he says or give a shit....BUT I have made it clear that I do not want her to have anything to do with my children as long as she is still living with and married to her husband. I do not want them growing up thinking it is acceptable to be dating a woman that still lives with her husband!

So I open her text and it says, "where ya at? Did you get a pool?" and I'm like, huh? then open his text and it's a picture of my youngest standing on the edge of my old neighbor's pool driving his new radio controlled boat my ex just bought him...and it dawns on me that the asshole sent that picture to BOTH of though that woman has ANY right to see my child or know anything about my kids.

I was seeing red. I have been over this for such a long time. I have moved on! We are past our required 1 year separation point, simply co-parent, and I'm just waiting to get the final D in the mail at this point....but his insensitive ass thrust her right back into my world once again with this. WTF?

So I couldn't help it, it texted him and told him he was an asshole for sending that to both of us, that she is not welcome around my children and I want his whore to have nothing to do with my precious boys. I texted her and told her that she was to stay away from my children while she was still sleeping around on her husband...told her to ruin her own child's home life but leave mine out of her drama.

He texts me "sorry about that, was just trying to be nice. She is my friend, u don't need to text her. she's not around our kids ever, she's not really around. kids are gonna be late, I just got them an hour ago"

FUCKING ASSHOLE...if she's not around my kids, and not ever really around...why the fuck does she need a picture of them?! do I look like an idiot? And NO...they will not be late yet again on a fucking school night like every other god damn time you have them, because YOU don't know how to be on time and picked them up an hour late for your visitation!!! Grow the fuck up and parent...

she of course gave me an attitude and asked me to leave HER alone! I replied basically telling her I have never wanted anything to do with her or inserted myself into her life...she on the other hand has no fucking morals or consideration for the three children whose lives she blew up and doesn't deserve the shit they wipe from their asses, let alone to have any tiny window into their worlds. Leave ME and MINE the fuck alone!

God damnit! Her self-absorption and entitlement is mind boggling and his insensitivity is mind boggling. I told him yet again...(he has no boundaries and continues to do whatever the hell he wants)that he is to text or email from now on. Do not call. we are not friends or even friendly and I have no interest in chatting with him about fucking life after he calls to say goodnight to his kids or any other time. I choose people who care and respect me as friends...he does neither.
He replies with.."I'm sure your still upset so I guess now isn't the time to have a reasonable conversation. I'm sorry about tonight. I hope you still get some sleep. goodnight" Reasonable conversation? what part of leave me alone, I want nothing more to do with you and we are no longer friends whatsoever is confusing???

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

Posts: 304 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: NC
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

Not cool.

You should have sent your response to both of them.

He needs to choose. He can be "just friend" with her, or he can be married to you. Not both.

Hard 180 with this jagoff.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7769 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Member # 33735
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

Oh no he didn't?!?!?!?!

ThisHell, I am furious for you! What a waste of space this guy is.

M -25 years, T - 31 years, 4 children
Dday October 8, 2011 - Multiple PAs and ONs
Divorced 1-8-13
"When you give a lot of importance to someone in your life, you lose your importance in their life."

Posts: 952 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

Might be time to hand your phone/email over to a trusted someone to vet any comms from him for a while.

You need to go hardcore NC with this scumbag.

Accident my arse. A few weeks after S the sad clown 'accidentally' sent me a "soooo.. what are you wearing" text. It made my skin crawl.

If you haven't outed her to her BS I'd do so immediately. He deserves to know.

Unfortunately you won't be able to control who he brings around your children unless she is an actual, physical danger to them.

Stop engaging. Stop fighting. Stop the contact. NC is your friend here. It is the only way you can pull yourself out of his crazy vortex.

He is showing you who he is. Believe him.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 37089
Default  Posted: 10:19 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

oh, I contact. and I made it clear to him that that's what I would do from here on out. I've been friendly over this year of separation, cordial, not best buds, and I was done with the marriage when he moved out a year ago. North Carolina requires living apart and separation for 1 year before divorce can be filed. I was finished with this relationship before we separated. but he has no boundaries and wants to be friendly and chatty because in his npd brain, that means we're good, I'm over it and everyone condones his behavior and loves him if they are friendly.

I am that person that believes that, especially with kids, if there was a chance at reconciliation and I wanted that, then we were not separating. but he maintained contact with OW and after trying to reconcile, I just couldn't. I moved on emotionally and was DONE before I kicked him out and our official separation began for the court system. I didn't want to put my kids through all that (dad leaving, mom and dad trying, dad moving back in, that sort of thing.. ) so I was ready for divorce over a year ago. we aren't in reconciliation...just trying to coparent with an npd idiot.

I said my piece to the both of them and from here on out, I'm done trying to be cordial and polite to him. complete NC. We have a separation agreement in place, its all set to be incorporated into the divorce decree and I have nothing left to say to his sorry ass. just makes me sick. he says he doesn't have many friends and he's keeping the ones he has (HER), and that he rarely talks to her at all...she's never around the kids....yeah. ok. so wtf does she need a picture of MY child for? Didn't see any responses from family or close friends that even KNOW my kids come through so I assume it was just sent to her and I. Other wise I would have seen other "oh how cute" responses....jackass

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

Posts: 304 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: NC
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

I'd be having words with the OW's BS. He might have no idea any of this is going on.

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3412 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, September 19th (Thursday)

Can you get this info to your lawyer.. You need to protect kids from her and any OW. Honestly I am not sure he should be allowed to have the kids with that behaviour. Talk to your lawyer.
Sorry you have this crap to deal with..

Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 37089
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I tried back the second time I caught them breaking NC, well over a year ago, to contact her BS via facebook message, as I had no other way to do it, but instead I got a text from her "nice try Christina" and a threat to file a restraining order and leave her alone. I don't know if her and STBX still meet up, but I know he sent roses to her work on vday, and according to what STBX told me months ago, her marriage has been dying for years. shocker. he actually told be in a chatty moment that he was getting frustrated hearing her complain and say she wants to separate and she's apparently been back and forth doing that with her BS for several years.

in my opinion (since I don't believe anything he says) she is a bored woman in her marriage, immature, and selfish and a drama lover. I don't know her husbands phone number and at this point, have no idea if they are still living together.

and legally, can't he send pictures to whomever he wants? she's a great person and super nice friend ya know..

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

Posts: 304 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: NC
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I got a text from her "nice try Christina" and a threat to file a restraining order and leave her alone
Seriously? The woman has no shame. What a pathetic excuse for a woman she is. You should let her file, fight it, and have the opportunity to get it all on the record. Okay, probably not a great idea for you, but it would be fun to watch her squirm. Bitch...

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4609 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

What a POS he is. I'd be seeing red, so I don't blame you for your reaction at all. It's unbelievable that he thinks it's even remotely okay to include you both on a text message or that he even thinks it's okay to say he's just 'friends' with the homewrecker slut. I know people would say you should have just ignored the text, but I know that would have been so hard for me to not respond to either.

Screw him and her!

BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 920 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:05 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

She cannot file a restraining order from you trying to contact her BS.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5609 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

You have her number. Block it. That way even if he is stupid enough to send a text to both of you again, you won't have to see her replies to all.

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson

Posts: 4145 | Registered: Sep 2005
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I would be completely freaked out, as in out-of-my-mind angry.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Member # 36307
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Thank God stupidity isn't contagious. What an idiot, some "dad of the year"

BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
So done,

Posts: 618 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

They are both pathetic, miserable human beings. (((ThisHell)))

Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
Member # 39357
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

She's pretty ballsy for a gal living in one of the few states that still enforces Alienation of Affection laws! This is all happening in No. Carolina, right?

Posts: 350 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 16