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User Topic: How low did they go?
Lovedyoumore
Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, September 19th (Thursday)


Some of us here carry heavy burdens in our hearts about our WS and the A. There are things we know that keep us up at night and make us think "who are you?" Or how could they do that? There are things that I find hard to fathom about the man I have been with for over 30 years. I know there are sexual acts and activities that makes my skin crawl, yet some of the most disturbing crap is really not about the sex. In my opinion, it goes even lower than the sex and I have a hard time even processing. So, what in your mind did the WS do during the A that shows how low they could go?

Mine....on a certain morning every week, after going to her house early in the a.m. for sex, the OW would follow him to church so they could celebrate the Eucharist together. They literally got up out of bed and went to church with sex all over them. What?!?


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2012 | From: South
Dallas2
Member
Member # 28362
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Good question. The low my WH went was to tell his AP all about our life and problems. He also planned a new life with her. The lowest was keeping it a secret for years and still defended her.

The church thing, well maybe that's the lowest I've heard of.


Me

Posts: 787 | Registered: Apr 2010
Lovedyoumore
Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I just saw a similar topic title in JFO. I was not trying to TJ, just coincidence.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1187 | Registered: May 2012 | From: South
Whalers11
Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

For me it was having a breakdown on D-Day - like hyperventilating in the fetal position in a corner, after trying to get away so I could just go drive my car into a wall and kill myself - and him going right back to her, like seeing what it did to me had no impact at all. They conceived OC two weeks later.

I get chills just thinking about it - how he was just so cold and heartless and callous during that time. I will never be able to forgive him for that.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2058 | Registered: Feb 2010
dindy
Member
Member # 38424
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

For me the fact the he told OW all about our relationship and slagged me off to her like I was some monster is pretty low.

In reality I was post-nattally depressed and feeling isolated with two very young children. I tried to reach out for him for help but all he was interested in was his career and OW.

I know that they talked about me being 'just a waitress' and working at the grace of someone charity as he said this to me one night and I knew then that they had discussed this.

Funny really as it didn't bother him me working at the grace of someone's charity when he was out of work for 4 months trying to build a new career and had zero money. He was happy enough then.

And then when he gets his career and I get pregnant he falls out of love with me for becoming the mother of his children.

But most of all, the fact that he never truly appreciated how much love I had invested in him. This was a big deal to me and not reciprocated. I don't think he will ever understand this and the depth of pain he has caused. He even sent me a text by mistake recently slagging me off because it had been 7 months since the 'affair'. Like I'm supposed to just pretend it never happened.

He has been spoon fed all his life and clearly sees love as an act of service that is owed to him. He is a mummy's boy and his dad often treats his mum like shit. So he obviously thought I would be the same person for him.


Posts: 433 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: uk
SoAngryAndHurt
Member
Member # 40150
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

The low was using our kids. That's how they first became "friends", but continuing to use our children's friendship to have play dates. Really?


Me BW 40
Him WH 34
2 kiddos elementary school age
Married 10 years
05/20/13 let the rugsweeping & TT begin
07/01/13 finally!! The whole truth. Admits to EA&PA

Posts: 63 | Registered: Aug 2013
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I think the low was him blowing money on her, buying her nice dinners and an engagement ring, while I was 3 months from my due date with NOTHING for our child.

Also when he told me that he wanted to spend half of his vacation leave after the baby was born with OW. He was planning on getting on a plane only a week or so after our daughter would be born...and wasting it with his whore. While I was left to care for a newborn. Didn't end up happening...but just the fact that he thought of it (probably with the help of skankasaurus) is enough in my book. It still makes my blood boil.


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
coda87
Member
Member # 40669
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

In my case I found out my WW was having an emotional affair and I confronted her about it. Two days later she meets the AP at a hotel (they were planning this before I found out) and made it a Physical Affair. I guess it is like an addiction.

[This message edited by coda87 at 2:12 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


Married 12yrs, known 14
DDay 8/21/13
BH 44
WW/STBXW 40
3 kids 12,9,8

Posts: 109 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Honolulu
Kierst13
Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

The emotionally intimate thoughts and feelings they shared with one another. The bond they forged and continued to forge through False R and him lying while staring at me in MC.


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 346 | Registered: May 2013
StillLivin
Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Where does the list end?
For me, him telling me, "Thank you for all you have done for me and my sons!" while he was packing his bags to go to their lovenest.
I asked him "Is she worth it?" because I knew he was lying.
He responded that he wasn't going to her. He wanted a separation to get his head right, God was telling him some things about himself that he didn't like. Oh, and that he just wanted to get right with God first before coming back to me.
Hah, the process server showed up right at that moment to serve him!
Dirty dirty dirty liars. All of them.
I see all the hard, heartbreaking work the WS forum reads. I know that they may have made the same mistakes, but they owned up to it, are doing everything in their power to "fix" it.
I have respect for a man or woman owning their A and working to make their M better!
Mine is too selfish, too dirty, too entitled to ever do that.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB

Posts: 1781 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
namaste32
Member
Member # 32848
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

One of the lows was when H got done fuckin OW,he left with the rubber on his dick.While driving home he yanked it off tossed it out of the window and came home. He didnt shower that nite. The next morning he showered before work and put his clothes into our laundry basket ,including his underwear,with my kids and newborns clothes,....

Posts: 183 | Registered: Jul 2011
Alex CR
Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

For me it was him telling her I was dead....that he was a widow........

I still have a hard time with that and am pretty sure she wasn't expecting me to rise from the dead.....


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1592 | Registered: Mar 2010
HormonalWoman
Member
Member # 29265
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

He was on tour in afghan, i was sending him parcels 2-3 times a week whilst i was home alone with 2 small kids and one on the way. My ds ended up in hospital for 3 days which was pretty horrible. We came out of hospital, I accessed wh's email and found he had emailed ow to tell her i'd had a scan and knew the sex of our baby but refused to tell him.

I wasn't sure whether to be more insulted over the blatant lie or the fact he hadn't remembered my scan date and that i hadn't actually had it yet

P.s i was still in the naive believing they were 'just email friends' stage at this point.


Together 13 yrs
BW - Me
WH - Him
3 Children
DD 20th June 2010 actual affair was early 2008 for roughly 10 wks.

Posts: 220 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
HormonalWoman
Member
Member # 29265
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Wow Alex, that is awful


Together 13 yrs
BW - Me
WH - Him
3 Children
DD 20th June 2010 actual affair was early 2008 for roughly 10 wks.

Posts: 220 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Going To Make It
Member
Member # 17010
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

What I'm about to tell you all is quite GROSS, OW is his serial cheating xw, he was married to her for about 3 years.

One visit, xw asked him if he ever had any sexual fantasy's while they were married. He told her yes he did and proceeded to tell her

He wanted to have a threesome with her sister (k) and have xw give oral to sister after he finished in her. Believe it or not, she said SHE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!

Alex, did you tell him that's what Scott Peterson said to his ow?


BW 47
M 1982 4 Adult Children
2 Grandkids - the light & loves of my life.
LTA Started before we were married and lsted until 9/02 DDay 4/4/04, TT till 9/24/2011

Posts: 948 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Still Wandering in the Desert
trumanshow
Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

The emotionally intimate thoughts and feelings they shared with one another. The bond they forged and continued to forge through False R and him lying while staring at me in MC.

wow Kierst-same here

The OW has the same first and middle name as me. Her H had the same name as my H. They went on trips together-he had her up to our second home (that we built and were going to retire in-vacation home) Even after my parent's 50th ann there with all my family. I left with DD and dogs to come back and work-he stayed to close up- OW was there in a matter of hours. Like she was the wife!


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1657 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
crazyblindsided
Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

The emotionally intimate thoughts and feelings they shared with one another. The bond they forged and continued to forge through False R and him lying while staring at me in MC.

Wow this hits close to home for me .

I would also add that my WH told MOW about my attempted suicide and that is the reason he is afraid to leave me.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
In R
"If it can be destroyed by the truth, it deserves to be destroyed by the truth." -Carl Sagan

Posts: 2248 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Opheliapain
Member
Member # 33596
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

He broke up with the first woman he slept with on our 11th anniversary by sending her parts of a love letter he had written me when he was getting ready to propose.

He used a picture on his fake facebook account that I took the day before of him while we were on a date. He updated the picture when I was at the hospital with my mother who had heart problems and we thought had a heart attack but really a stroke.

That he brought condoms and love notes into our house and made me wash his underwear he wore right after sex.

That he had sex with a woman 18 years older than him and 12 years younger. That his fake persona had his grandfathers name and his mother's maiden name.

Last time he had sex he called me on the phone because my radar was pinging but cofused as to why because he is soooo above it all. He called me to tell me how hard he worked to make sure we had trust while he traveled and how much he appreciated me and loved me and wanted to take care of me. After he convinced me everything was okay he called her immediately to sleep with her and according to the email he wrote her the next morning he "held her tell she fell asleep and kissed her on the forehead and whispered I love you."

Damn. It's all so low.


Me - BW 38
Him - WH 33
Don't fuck with me fellas! This ain't my first time at the rodeo!
DD - 3/28/11

Posts: 172 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Indiana
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

The things that are so hard for me to deal with
#1. I feel like he should have been the protector of our family and he did the opposite. He let the enemy in, he invited her into our lives.
#2 he was mean as hell to me. He scared our kids by exploding and verbally abusing me. My kids were afraid he would hurt me, thus causing major anxiety in them to this day.

#3 my DS was spiraling deep into drug addiction which I think my ws treatment of him helped get it going. I WAS frantic and scared he was going to OD. Ws disowned him then kicked him out. When I wouldbt abideby his decision and continued to see DS and try to get him help, ws told me to choose between them. I told him to fuck off cuz it wasn't going to be him I chose. I guess that was the green light for him to finally fuck the bitch he'd been sexting for months.
At the time I had no where to go, no $ to go with and felt so trapped. I have major hatred for him during that time. Not only was he not there for me, he was against me.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..divorced slut who prefers committed men, specializing in befriending and bopping the fathers of her kids team mates
Status..%&$#@?$

Posts: 3947 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
MsRukia
Member
Member # 40219
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

This is still so painful there are two things in particular.
1. Having sex with OW in my bed. I was in the hospital having just given birth to our third daughter.
2. Had sex again in my bed while I was staying at the hospital with my oldest. She had double pneumonia.

'twas low indeed.


BS (33)
WS MisterP (36)
Together 13 1/2 Years
D Day 03 Aug 13 EA & PA
D Day #2 01 Sep 13 continued EA & PA with OW
Slowly making progress towards Reconciliation.

Posts: 164 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Colorado Springs
Lonelygirl10
Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

A few different things for me:

1. He had sex with her for the first time on Christmas Day

2. After Dday, he created 2 fake profiles on my online support forum and pretended to be girls giving me advice to stay with him, and then told me I was creating conspiracy theories when I told him I suspected that the profiles were him

When I think about everything, I just feel so bitter.


29 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 731 | Registered: Jul 2013
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

How low did he go? He did a 180 for the worse.

He actually was a nice guy, good H to me at time and excellent father. I feel he's lost sight of the father thing and has become this superficial, elitist douche. It's sucky for kids and a bit embarrassing in a way. It's such a phony way to be, IMO.

I think a low for me was him "informing" me how crummy I was while he was 'up here'. It was like really - you had to do a physical hand-scale comparison?! That was pretty low, even for his new egotistically shitty personality.

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 10:32 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
inmisery1
Member
Member # 30905
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

How low did they go. The skanky ho invited him to come to her church, rubbed his arm during the service and told him how horny she was and then fu**** him in the parking lot in my car. My husband is a dick, but how skanky are you to fu** someone elses husband in your churchs parking lot?

Posts: 184 | Registered: Jan 2011
hitbyatruck
Member
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I was thinking about all the LOW moments H had but one of the things that still stand out to me was the day he moved out he took all the TP and Laundry detergent. I was staring at the empty spot on the washer where the giant container once was thinking WTF??? I know it isn't the same as banging in the church parking lot but to me it was just another point of how selfish he was. Buy your own detergent!


Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3276 | Registered: Apr 2009
5boysmom
New Member
Member # 32928
Exclaimation  Posted: 11:49 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Well reading all of these makes me so sad for all of you.
The lowest for me was that he lied to me about having to go to home depot, while he was going to see her, her brother had died and she told him then that she wanted his baby How do you do this use your brothers death as a means to meet up, and discuss having a child with each other. This to me was the worst blow

Posts: 42 | Registered: Jul 2011
wannabenormal
Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Things like church is totally gross. There's something sick to me about actually believing your church thinks you should be there w/ an OP...let alone sleep with an OP on premises! Not getting religious, just think it's one of those b.s. bonding things.

Hit - honestly, I think there is something pretty damned low-down about taking the family laundry products. Like you can't even get that for yourself?! It's just sad to me.

I'm such hot shit, I'm a hot date and totally neato...but I stole Angel Soft and Tide from my family. That's just real pathetic. Woo hoo, did he score dryer sheets too?! SMH


BW, divorced: 03/09


Posts: 14252 | Registered: Jun 2008
brokendancer7
Member
Member # 39911
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I told fWH not to worry about doing anything big for our anniversary. 33 years is a long time! "And we knew we loved each other, right?" He gave her a $500 pair of diamond and gold earrings, took her to lunch and called her 7 times that day. I got one "Happy Anniversary" text. Not even a card.


Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 56
Married 34 yrs

Latest DD - April 2013, PA


Posts: 158 | Registered: Jul 2013
somer222
Member
Member # 21377
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, September 20th (Friday)

He had some business trips out of town and I was delighted that he was working. I never saw any money - he handled our finances.

One Saturday, I got a call from a nasty stripper. She lived in a different city but told me enough so that I knew she was telling the truth. She wasn't trying to do me any favors, she was mad at him. She called him a psycho. He told me she was blackmailing him.

Somewhere in the middle is the truth, but the only truth I cared about is that he cheated and that he gave her a LOT of money (that I earned).

I kicked him out that very day. I was able to get a legal annulment, in spite of the fact we were married five years. The reason I wanted the annulment is that I was the income earner (not what I signed up for) and I would have had to pay him alimony if I got a divorce. The judge granted my annulment, I was free and I am five years into my new life. It's not perfect, but I'd take it any day over the fake life I was living with him.

eta- I later found out she wasn't the only stripper. As far as I know, he may have been doing this our entire marriage. He certainly wiped out any money I saved before I met him.

[This message edited by somer222 at 12:15 AM, September 20th (Friday)]


Posts: 1311 | Registered: Oct 2008
Heath
Member
Member # 28992
Default  Posted: 12:32 AM, September 20th (Friday)

My ex ran a cleaning company. During her A (exit affair) she got my Mum to do some of her cleaning jobs (my Mum was never paid) so she could spend time with OM. So in reality my ex was getting paid to sleep with OM while my Mum was doing the work. Her excuse for not being able to do the work herself was that she wasn't well and had doctor's appointments. Yeah, a doctor's appointment nearly every second day for 3 weeks. Not only that, but ex stole money, food and clothes from her cleaning clients. Some of her clients left money on the bench for her. She took the money without doing the work. I only know this because I was contacted by someone who was taking action against her for taking money but not doing any of the work for it. Now that is low.

[This message edited by Heath at 12:33 AM, September 20th (Friday)]


"It's only after we've lost everything that we are free to do anything'.

Posts: 123 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Darcy3
New Member
Member # 39696
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I thought he was going to watch a game at a bar, come to find out he was going to be with her. As he was getting ready to leave he kissed me goodbye, looked me in the eyes and said I love you with a smile. After being with her, he came home late that night crawled into bed with me, spooned up behind me wrapping his arms around me and told me thank you for letting him go, told me about what a great time he had, and said I love you, and proceeded to go to sleep with me in his arms....that night was also D-day for me.


Me = BS
Him = WS
3 teenagers
Married 24 years
D-Day: Nov. 10, 2012
Divorced

Posts: 36 | Registered: Jun 2013
newlysingle
Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I suddenly got really bad vertigo. I has a 5 year old and 3 month old baby that I was caring for. I was scared and didn't know what was wrong with me. The doctors weren't sure either. The Gnat suddenly had an out of town business trip that he HAD to go on. No matter how much I pleaded with him to stay (I was afraid to even drive and feared being alone with the kids) he said it would cost him his job if he didn't go. I ended up calling a friend who had a young baby herself, to come and stay with me.

You guessed it, he went to see OW and there was no work trip. It makes me sick to think about to this day. How he could be so selfish and uncaring. Turns out I had some inner ear damage from a virus that eventually fixed itself, but it took about 4 months.

I will never forgive him for that.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 713 | Registered: Mar 2013
Alex CR
Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 5:07 AM, September 20th (Friday)

GoingtoMakeIt....I never knew that Scott Peterson said that.....we never had television and don't catch a lot of that stuff.

But it looks like the Peterson trial was going on during the time H was looking for an OW in the other country.....he met her the end of '04 and probably heard about that lie on the radio..... either way it's disturbing and a reminder how low my H would go to get what he wanted.


BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1592 | Registered: Mar 2010
Kelany
Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, September 20th (Friday)

He told me that people at work were spreading rumors about him and the baker were having an affair. HA HA HA, how insane is that?

I asked what did he and the baker think about that?

He said they just laughed and ignored it.

Except, the rumors were true. I have NO idea why he told me that. Gauging if I suspected? I don't know.

That and he wore the damn watch she gave him every fucking day, even after the A was over.


BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking


Posts: 1988 | Registered: Feb 2012
dameia
Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, September 20th (Friday)

Ahh, so many how do I choose?

Well there was the time that he had unprotected sex with a whore in Thailand, and then came home and had sex with me. Did I mention that I was PREGNANT at the time?! And Thailand is known for it's unbelievably high STD rates.

Also the time he paid to go on a 10 day vacation to Thailand with his friends, but I was left at home counting out change to pay the bills.

All the times he told me how much more attractive other women were, how he preferred everyone else to me.

But the one thing I can never get over is that he lied about all of this for almost 11 years. He stole my 20's from me, time I will never get back. He essentially made me a prisoner...he got everything he wanted at my expense.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

"People who live in a glass house have to answer the door" -Karl Pilkington


Posts: 988 | Registered: Jul 2012
rachelc
Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, September 20th (Friday)

He told me I traumatized myself by spying on him. That if I wouldn't have spied or hired a PI I wouldn't have found out on my own. If I would have waited for him to confess I would not have PTSD now. Right.


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 47
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace."


Posts: 3625 | Registered: Dec 2010
Betrayed55
Member
Member # 32289
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, September 20th (Friday)

Yeah, another church 'low'. After ow outed their great lurve to WH family, he and ow went to church together to 'pray for guidance'' . Well, they felt god guided them to consummate their lurve and off they went to a hotel to do the deed. Still makes me sick that they used god-church that way.

Posts: 144 | Registered: May 2011 | From: New York
AussieMum
Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, September 20th (Friday)

Hmm, let's see

1. During his A with OW1 (I was clueless at the time), I had a terrible migraine with vomiting etc, so stayed in bed for the day. He ignored me all day, didn't even pop his head in the doorway to offer me a glass of water - nothing.

2. During false R, he had a vasectomy. It ended up being quite complicated and he needed a general anaesthetic. I organised all his paperwork, sat with him all day, helped him get ready to leave, drove him home and made him comfortable. All this time he was in full swing with OW2, the vasectomy was his free pass to screw around. Wish I'd kicked him hard exactly where it hurt that day.

3. He took pics of himself on our computer web cam which I found in the recycle bin. Bare chested, giving the camera the 'come hither' look When I confronted him, he said 'I never sent them to anyone!!' Turns my stomach to look at them now.

4. He also told his OWs everything about me, very personal stuff. Nope, can't forgive that in a hurry.


Me 46
STBXH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. He's now living with OW3.

Posts: 179 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
AlwaysBeenStrong
Member
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, September 20th (Friday)

Well he lied about all of it for 2 1/2 years.

1. He confessed there was an OW and gave me details: name, age, where he met her and was didn't want to be married anymore.

2. Within a month he wanted to Reconcile, started MC and IC for himself.

3. Stories changed to: I made the whole thing up, there was no one, just to get you to love me again.

4. Finally got the truth years later to find out it was his boss and it was only one "bj".

5. Called another woman FROM WORK to come watch him play ball.

6. Separation and false reconciliation that lasted a week after he lied about being at work and was not.

I think the constant lies for years was as low as he could be.


BW: 41 (me)
WH: 45 (tool)
D-day 1: 1/2011 (confessed but not the whole truth until 2nd D-Day)
D-day 2: 4/2013 (found out it was with boss after 2 1/2 years of constant lies)
STBX confessed of EA with new boss

Posts: 61 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
Bikingguy
Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, September 20th (Friday)

WW hates using porta potties. I knew about WW and OM jogging together last december. What I didn't know was after jogging for an hour OM convienced WW to go into the porta pottie and fuck!

I have "taken" back many of the things they did. THIS is one, she can have all her own.

It is amazing I can continue to enjoy jogging, however the health benefits fortunately out weigh the hundreds of trigger it also provides.


Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 667 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
confused615
Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, September 20th (Friday)

Oh my. The entire thing was low..so low.


Hmmm. Maybe it was when he moved our kids' car seats out of the way,so he could give OM a BJ.

Or..the nude pic that had taken a few years earlier of me...that he sent out to strangers on craigslist..advertising US as a "kinky couple"..all to see if they would send him back a pic of them.

Or..that OM told me *how* the BJ was done/given...and I realized WH had used a few of *my* techniques that I had used on him...I was also told I "taught him well."

Or...was it that he came home from giving this BJ..kissed me..and we had HOURS of sex the next night.

Or..his fantasy had always been to see me with another man...he mentioned it many times over the years. Of course,I had NO interest,and told him so..many times. Now..knowing what I know..I know he was going to use me as bait..to get the man there..because apparently,he likes that.

The whole entire thing is disgusting. So shameful. One of the things that i have been so angry about is how far he lowered himself. How dare he put himself..and us..in danger? He was/is better than that.


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: R? I don't know..ask me tomorrow..it changes rapidly.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 6630 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
StillGoing
Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, September 20th (Friday)

We played an online game together, the OM pretended to be someone else and became a 'friend' and she let me believe it. For.. I dunno, most of a year.. actually, more than, since she insisted for months after dday that he wasn't anyone in the game we played, and I found a letter she never sent where it had fallen behind the dresser one day while I was cleaning.

Fun and games with SG's grip on reality.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7096 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
realitybites
Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, September 20th (Friday)

One of many at that time:

Right after DDay but before my then WS moved out, my oldest son (19)at the time was trying to talk to his Dad and find out the why's and was upset and trying to talk to him about it. My then WS told him that the reason was that it was my fault and that he did not like having sex with me. That sex was not good. Thats what he told his son about his mother.


Posts: 5522 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
crestfallen
Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Two things stand out for me....after gas lighting me for months and telling me how much he loved me and didn't have a Horseface, he:

1. Had business in London for about 12 days. He asked me to join him as this was to be a grueling trip. He needed me, blah, blah, blah!!! I was scheduled to return halfway thru the trip as it was Christmas and our youngest child was due to come home from his first semester at college. I solely was responsible for everything surrounding the holidays, so I thought he would be fine for the last few days by himself. Things did not go as planned and he was a mess. I told him that I couldn't leave him this way and I wanted to stay and rearrange my flight back. He insisted that I leave and he was fine. PS...The OW flew in on the same plane I flew out on, on the very same day. Apparently the business was over the day I left and they had a 5 day European vacation, shopping and very fine wine and dinners!

2. Then, two months later, we hosted his elderly parents for a week. He had to leave to go out of town for meetings and I knew the meetings were over on a Thursday. He left me with his elderly parents, waiting on them hand and foot, driving them everywhere, meals etc, and he has OW fly to meet him for two additional nights. After promising me, he wouldn't stick me with his parents.

Guess who got caught when he arrived home? He was actually busted the night before....DDAY!!!

[This message edited by crestfallen at 1:24 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


BS-me-56
WH-56
Married 31 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 168 | Registered: Mar 2010
whatnow8
Member
Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, September 20th (Friday)

1. Going to church with her when he went very rarely with me, and hated it.
2. Started to read the Bible to be closer to her.
3. Texting scriptures to each other.
4. Told me he was going to drive out to the house we were in the process of buying(our first) to think about things while I was in the hospital after having baby #4. There were horrible storms, and I was worried and called him several times. Guess where he was. And she was visiting friends at the time so she was way out of town. He was doing over 100mph to get to her quickly to have as much time with her as possible. He got pulled over, but he had gone to school for criminal justice. The cop who pulled him over had graduated with him, and let him go.
5. After being given oral 2 separate times by ow he only met 1 time each, never showering or washing off, and letting me do the same the morning after.

He truly disgusts me sometimes. Okay most of the time.

[This message edited by whatnow8 at 3:52 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown


Posts: 175 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
Spelljean
Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, September 20th (Friday)

WH telling OW when they met, that he and I were living in separate houses.

Him telling OW that I found out about the affair not because he and I were living together and that made it easier for me to find out, but because I was living separate from him, and I was crazy jealous or something and hired a PI to take photos of them together. (lie)

Him telling OW that I now needed to move back into his house, as part of our divorce negotiation deal, where he took care of me while I had cancer and in exchange he would keep his retirement fund intact. (lie...I never had cancer, we never had two houses and this was all a convoluted story he told her)

WH spending the night with OW the night my father died last year.

We were married, one house, one daughter. 17 years.


WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
ophelia24
Member
Member # 38438
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Writing an entire page in his journal wishing his "first love" a happy 40th birthday and waxing lyrical about how important she still is to him - and then totally forgetting mine. It was my 40th FFS!

Still rankles.


“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.”
― James Baldwin

Posts: 241 | Registered: Feb 2013
mchercheur
Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, September 20th (Friday)

1. WH asked our teenage daughter to teach him how to text, so that he could text OW
2. WH went on a diet so that he would be "hot" for OW-----he had me cooking special dishes for him every day
3.F*cked OW, then came home & got into bed with me
4.Told all of his friends & family horrible things about me(that I was always angry,that I kept the house too messy, etc.) I to justify why he cheated
5. looked into my eyes & lied right to my face about continued contact with OW multiple times for months after Dday,& in front of the MC


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1085 | Registered: Dec 2012
ctdean2004
New Member
Member # 39637
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, September 20th (Friday)

How low? I guess for me it was two things:

I put spyware on his phone and in his whole conversation home with his best friend to come see me and disclose everything, they plotted everything he would tell the truth about and everything he would lie about. his friend was even helping him plan out the faces and voice he needed to use with me. I mean it was some really juicy stuff lol. I knew all the lies before he even arrived. When I met with him, he put on this pouty face ready to lie. He ended up caving in and telling me everything though. His friend and him even stopped off at his job to delete things off his computer, get rid of all his cds and disk drives and extra phones that he was keeping.

Secondly - the nanny and him conspired to tell me lies. So when I confronted the nanny in front of him --- she lied lol and he finally told her to just tell me the truth.

LOW!

[This message edited by ctdean2004 at 7:35 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


Me: BS, 31
Him: WH/SA, 31
Together 8 years
Married 7 years
DS1, DD2, DSontheway 10/10/13
Official DDAY: October 2012
'09 some things came out, he went to SA, stopped doing it and he went to town! Always been caught and never confessed.
Rec

Posts: 23 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Connecticut
Zayda1
Member
Member # 35387
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Soangryandhurt we have similar stories.

He used our daughter (5years old at the time) to set up play dates to see her.

Brought her to our home to make-out (ya, sure that's all they did on my couch) while our son was upstairs sleeping with a fever and her infant daughter was on the floor next to them.

Looked me in the eye, told me he loved me, turned around and took OW to a sleazy motel to have sex. Did I mention that I work full time and OW was a stay at home mom...so basically I paid for that motel room

Brought her into our home while I was at work, let her bring her 4 month old infant with her. Left baby on the main floor (with our dog) while they went down to the unfinished nasty basement to fuck. Her BH called Children's Aid when he heard that one. So now, thanks to WH our family home is on record at Children's aid.


Married 8 years, together for 11 years
2 children (7 years & 4 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12 (It only lasted a "couple of weeks" but it still shattered my world.)

Posts: 439 | Registered: Apr 2012
Tired05
Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, September 20th (Friday)

For me it was him telling her I was dead....that he was a widow........

Give me a second to pick my jaw up from the floor....

Wow...


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
shockandeww
New Member
Member # 40335
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, September 20th (Friday)

I asked what the story was with Good Friend and her husband (I knew he had spent some time with her). He told me he didn't feel comfortable telling me. (Guess he did not want to betray her. Ha. I eventually did get the information from him.) He said in some odd way he hoped talking to her about our marriage would help. At 3 in the morning at her place?! He never talked to me about our marriage much. He said he had been dropping hints about how unhappy he was. Guess the widdle guy couldn't figure out how to use his words.

Wore a "Beware of Gold Diggers" Shirt to our house, and in front of his daughters, when he came to get the rest of his things.

Had me programmed in his phone under the contact name Gold Digger, which he inadvertently showed my daughter.

Being an overall lousy excuse for a man once it was clear I was on to him.

Then there were the cameras. We had bought them for home security. He put three in his roughly 10- by 10-foot computer room. Told the kids it was to keep me from snooping on his computer, WHICH WAS PASSWORD-PROTECTED ANYWAY.

And before I was willing to accept what was really going on I asked why he had a special folder on his phone, and if her emails or texts went there. He said it was part of "Mistress Mail," an app he had created for his phone (he had done some programming). I seem to recall he told me this while I was lying in bed beside him with tears streaming down my face. I certainly didn't think joking like that was appropriate.

[This message edited by shockandeww at 9:48 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


Posts: 4 | Registered: Aug 2013
Gemini71
Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, September 20th (Friday)

4. Telling me that the PA started with my BFF because "they were both worried about me and my depression."
3. Stopping by same BFF's house on the way from police station to make sure "she could be there for me", before coming home to tell me he'd been picked up for soliciting a minor.
2. Telling me he always used protection and then XBFF confirmed that they did not use a condom.

And the #1 low thing STBXH ever did, was telling me that he "Truly loved me" after doing all this shit to me.


Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 976 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
tryingmybest2011
Member
Member # 32584
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, September 20th (Friday)

My WH told his LTA OW that he wished I would die so that he, my daughter, her and her kids could all be together.


BS: me - 36
WH: him - 36
DD: 7
DD: 5 mos

Married over 9 years, together for 18.

DD#1: 12/12/10 - LTA of 3 years, 2 mos.
DD#2: 02/02/11 - 2 EA/PA with coworkers, a month after the LTA was ended (by OW).

In limbo.


Posts: 316 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Ontario Canada
WhatsRight
Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, September 20th (Friday)

My husband is disabled, so as it happened, (WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE) I helped him groom and pack to go out of town where he met and paid her for sex.


"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy


Posts: 1812 | Registered: Apr 2012
ddame23
New Member
Member # 40407
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, September 20th (Friday)

He told me that being with her made him appreciate me more.
He planned and took my son out of state for spring vacation so he could stay with her and take her on dates in public since he couldn't do that in our city, while dumping my son with his parents.

[This message edited by ddame23 at 11:28 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


D Day 4/18/13

Posts: 30 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Coastal Empire, GA
sad34
Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Let's c:
Telling ow he couldn't orgasmn with me
Telling her we were separated and getting a divorce. Sometimes I want to do just that to say, "hey u got what u wanted all along"
Just destroying my trust I guess and not giving a damn


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 134 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
Flatlined123
Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, September 21st (Saturday)

The fact that H thought he could have it all...the wife and kids and the fantasyland of unicorns farting fainbows.

It doesn't get any lower than shitting on your family


Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 9-09, but I didn't feelTRUE R started until 12-09 when the fog really lifted due to a medical condition with me.
Every day gets a little better.

Posts: 582 | Registered: Jun 2012
918Mama
Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, September 21st (Saturday)

Having an affair, while I was pregnant with his son. Sleeping with the OW without protection, knowing she wanted to get pregnant. Sleeping with me after having unprotected sex with that whore he didn't really even know, while I was pregnant, and possibly risking the life of our unborn child with std's.

Leaving me alone, pregnant, with our child and the OW's step kids so they could go on a hike together and then have sex in his car afterwards.

Then proceed to come back to our home, have dinner and play board games all together.

That was after they kissed in my daughter's room while I was with my daughter at her dance class.

Clearly I have some unresolved anger here. But I just can't imagine how heartless you have to be to do all this ^^^. And to someone who is carrying your CHILD.

I always bragged about how wonderful my H was to me when I was pregnant. So loving and compassionate.

Unfortunately, that only applied to my first pregnancy. Apparently. Maybe. Who knows.


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 359 | Registered: Dec 2012
Rainbows
Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, September 21st (Saturday)

In my case there are two things that stand out, but these are just the most recent and after a long string of things.

They filed a fake police report together. He claimed I scratched him, she claimed to be a witness. All of this on a day when I didn't to even see him. I've never even seen OW.

About a week later, they started putting up Craigslist ads and giving out my personal information. They pretended to be me and told people I was looking for a walk on the wild side. They even sent out pictures and my work address. One guy said he was showing up at my office to meet me.

I figured if things were so great between them they wouldn't need to terrorize me. I guess they're no longer together. Big shock there. They kind of deserve each other IMO.

[This message edited by Rainbows at 11:12 AM, September 21st (Saturday)]


There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 357 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
LoveActually
Member
Member # 31030
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

-He had her book a hotel room for 3 nights in the same hotel he was staying at with a friend of ours whom he was helping with an out of town seminar for our friend's company. He would sneak over to her room and fuck her whenever he had a free moment.

-Further having unprotected sex with her over those 3 days never once caring about the potential threat to my future health.

-Ordering her roses on Valentines day using part of the money I deposited into his account to pay our household bills--he got me zilch that year. Can hardly stand that holiday now.


BS (Me)
WS (Him)
D-Day 5/29/09
Married 11 yrs, together 16 yrs

Posts: 747 | Registered: Jan 2011
philly172
Member
Member # 19024
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

There were so many low things WH & OW did, like telling DD he couldn't chose between her & OW, physically attacking me & DS1, calling me vile names..

BUT

The absolute lowest thing WH did that can still bring me to tears is when I was pregnant with DS2 I went through a pre-partum depression/anxiety ( my doc assured me it was common) It was a VERY trying dark time for me & at the time, my WH was the MOST supportive. It is something only WH, my OB, my Aunt & grandmother knew.. I didn't share it with anyone & didn't tell my kids..

One time during the A, I had OW in a state of panic ( a for real state of panic, she checked into a psych hospital after we spoke) she was worried that I was going to tell her BH.. So, she decided to call my oldest son (who was 15 at the time) & he told her to not call him again & called her a crazy homewrecking bitch & she went off on him & told him that she was crazy but I was more crazy & told him the entire story of what happened when I was pregnant with his brother..

After we R'ed I asked WH why he told her as he knew I wanted it kept private.. He said he told it to a group of people in passing at work months before the A when they were telling pregnancy stories.. I call bull - first off, who tells a story that they knew their wife had problems with, especially a story so painful. second, he told a GROUP of people????.. which is worse than only telling OW..

I think he told her the story to make me look crazy & couldn't think of anything better so he told that story.

It's been over 5 years & I'm crying as I type this.. that's how low he went!!


"Sorry" works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes, but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting & trusting again is sometimes impossible

Posts: 4757 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Not in Philly.. it's just a screen name :-)
caring4me
New Member
Member # 40414
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

I think what hits me the hardest is the fact he could openly talk to OW. My biggest complaint throughout the years was lack of communication. He wouldn't tell me how he really felt and just wasn't open with me-until he was mad and screaming at me. But found her because he needed someone to "talk" to. All our major events have been tainted due to his long standing EA. he even bought me flowers, after a fight where he swore he would be done talking to her-and told me SHE told him to buy them for me!! I can't stand flowers now.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Aug 2013
frigidfire86
Member
Member # 32324
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

Right after D-Day he told me that if we D he would do anything and everything he could to take our daughter away from me. All because I said I wanted to sell his precious car because I didn't think he deserved to keep it.


Me: 28
Him: 29
Married 8 years
Daughter, 7 yrs old
D-Day: 05/08/2011

Posts: 608 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Germany
tryinginmi
Member
Member # 29358
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

I struggle with the fact that he sent a picture of his dick to her. How stupid can you be?( please don't answer that). We had made fun of other people doing such a stupid thing.......and yet........smh. I just don't get it.

He also befriended her teenage daughters. All while ignoring and neglecting his own children.


Me - BW 38
Him - FWH 38
Her - MOW 46 Fat Assed Toothless Man Faced Whore!!!

DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA


Posts: 954 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Michigan
Tearsoflove
Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

First affair:
1. He was deployed for a year. Once the affair started, I could never get a hold of him by phone. His phone was always out of minutes. He let her call him all the time even though she was there with him. So much so that he was barely ever able to talk to his wife, children, or any other family member.

2. He let her mail a gift to our youngest daughter from him. I hate that thing but can't get rid of it because of what it means to her that Daddy sent a gift from overseas.

3. The night he was due home for his mid-tour, his plane was delayed and she just happened to be home on leave in the area. She drove to the airport and spent the night with him in his hotel. Since she'd been on leave, he had already gotten through the withdrawal period. But that started it all over again so he acted strange for the first few weeks he was home. By the time he started acting like my husband, it was time to go back. I hadn't seen him in 8 months and they tainted the little bit of time we had together before he had to go back. That hurt more than anything and she made sure I knew about it.

Second affair:

1. Right after the first time they slept together, he sent me an email telling me how much he loved me, how perfect I am, and how proud he was to be my husband.

2. Again, he was away from home and although we spoke more often, he didn't answer my calls because of the affair. He doesn't dare not answer his phone now because it's such a trigger for me.

3. He made me look him in the eye so he could swear he didn't sleep with her. He never faltered. It makes it hard to believe he was ever honest.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
3 kids

DD#1: 3/18/2003
DD#2: 9/28/2010 with a follow up on 1/28/2011 where he decided to come clean about the EA actually being a PA.

The OW could have been anybody and both turned out to be nobody special.


Posts: 3774 | Registered: Sep 2005
Bluebird26
Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

The worst, the time he was planning his exit affair I was mourning the loss of both my grandmothers within a 3 month period and I couldn't attend their funerals interstate as he was away 'working' and he chose this time to meet up with his EA AP and turned his EA into a PA on mothers day

[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 11:59 PM, September 21st (Saturday)]


"You can never have too much happy!"

Posts: 1137 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
918Mama
Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 12:50 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

Bluebird,

You reminded me about mother's day. How could I forget?

He fucked OW2 the night before mother's day. Then went to Walmart afterwards and bought be a bunch of crap for mothers day which he proceeded to dump on the counter and told me I could look at, while he sat at the table and ate because he was "starving". Guess fucking a whole really builds an appetite.

Then he proceeded to take a shower in front of me. He might as well have just told me for as little as he could have cared in that moment.


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 359 | Registered: Dec 2012
Laura28
Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 4:39 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

All of this is so reassuring. Here was I thinking that mine was the only monster.

There are many but I will just give the highlights:

1. He suggested I travel 250 miles away for the weekend to see our adult children for Mother's Day. I now know it was really so he could screw OW3 for the first time.

2. I went to visit our children another weekend. I left Friday afternoon and came home Sunday. I later found out he screwed her on Fri and Sat and me on Sunday. Classy.

3. The hospital called my work to tell me my mother was dying and had only hours. I called him on his cell (it was his day off) and asked him to come to the hospital to be with me. He gave me an excuse about having to take his sick nephew to a specialist. I later found out he actually had a play date with his whore. So while I sat holding my dying mother's hand he was screwing her. Nice. (Two days later was dday. When I found out about the lie regarding his nephew, told him I knew and couldn't understand how he could do this he said "But I loved your mother". I slapped him...... My bad!!)

I do believe an alien race has invaded our planet. How can these people be human????

HUGS to all

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2726 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Hurt4Ever
Member
Member # 167
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

After he had left me for her, I found out that our neighbors often saw him sneak her into OUR house, late at night. THIS WAS WHILE I WAS SOUND ASLEEP IN MY ROOM!

These were new neighbors at the time...I didn't really get to know them until long after my husband had left me.


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: Missouri
solus sto
Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

Wow. This is a tough question. I am married to (but separated from) a man I've known since ...well, practically childhood.

I think the very lowest thing he did was marry me---"because you loved me, and I didn't know if anyone else would."

That seems relatively innocuous, until you think about it. He asked me to marry him--knowing I was just an option, but never telling me.

From Day One, he was on the hunt--to SEE if "someone else would."

He did a lot of disgusting things. But it really all comes back to this.


BS-me, 52
WH(Mr. Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS17
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 7967 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
fourever
Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

He let me and the kids drop him off at the train for his "out of town" meeting the next morning.
Many times.

[This message edited by fourever at 3:15 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)]


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 847 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
Topic Posts: 71