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New Beginnings
User Topic: Who tried dating sites
strawblond30
Member
Member # 6263
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Anyone try a dating site with luck. My ex is on match . I joined just because he did. But to many weirdos.


Me 39, EX H 40 married 17 years infidelity on both parts . He a serial cheater. I cheated for revenge and ran home to brag. Or make Him mad. He confessed to more affairs after that. We are now divorced living apart . 3 children

Posts: 937 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: illinois
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I'm not on OLD, but 2 of my friends met their husbands on match. It took them a few years to find their Mr. Right.

Posts: 33822 | Registered: Mar 2011
lostmommy
Member
Member # 33440
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I met my current SO on POF. We dated in October for a couple of months but I wasn't ready for him. Now I'm 3 months in and so glad that we gave each other a second chance. It can happen, but you have to be patient and weed through a LOT of phonies.


Me (BS): 32, Mommy to J: 2 1/2 Divorced: 4/10/13
Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: NY
ruinedandbroken
Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

My good friend's met her current SO on match.com and he is a really great guy. They are very happy together. :)


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1560 | Registered: Aug 2010
Jrazz
Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

My cousin met her husband on Match several years ago. They are both attractive, successful, respectful, wonderful people. They are expecting their first son in February.


We are what we repeatedly do, excellence, then is not an act but a habit. - Aristotle

Posts: 16359 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Shockleader
Member
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Yep, met the gal I have been dating for 2 months from OkCupid... I would have never believed it would work, but it has. First date till now has been like magic! Had other dates prior to her from OLD, and I am a believer. Just gotta be careful to weed out the flakes! Give it a fair shot!


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
XWW 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 614 | Registered: Sep 2012
Thelastknight
Member
Member # 21851
Default  Posted: 11:40 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

I have met some great ladies through PoF. I still have them as friends.


"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

Reformed BS 39 xWW 34
Two kids 5 and 2


Posts: 951 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: NW
Saleschick
Member
Member # 39772
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I am on match and have only been on a little over 1 week
Finding guys my age want younger women and most of the men contacting me are either guys older than I am interested in or really young immature guys
That being said I have gotten a lot of "winks" and "likes" on my pictures.
I will give it more time but so far not too impressed yet

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013
Saleschick
Member
Member # 39772
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, September 20th (Friday)

On match I actually sent one unsolicited email to a guy only 15 miles from here.
He had a wonderful profile which I though would be a great match for me (no pun intended)
He has not read the email despite being online so I assume he has a free account which is disappointing

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013
Abbondad
Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 4:54 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I met my STBXWW on Jdate ten years ago. We were one of their posted "Success stories."

Way to go, Jdate!

;-)


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1571 | Registered: Dec 2012
EvenKeel
Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I have dabbled with OLD off and on.

I have not had any horror stories but I investigate anyone I am talking too and block anyone that is 'off'.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2003 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Dawnie
Member
Member # 26912
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I met my now husband on Chemistry.com... so I have a high opinion of OLD. You have to weed thru the creeps to get to a good one...

In my opinion the sites that you have to pay for usually have higher quality people and have less ones looking for "hook ups"...


DIVORCED! Remarried to a real man!
BW (me) - 41 (now 46)
WH (him) - 43 (now 47)
OW - 23 yr old foreign gold digging whore looking for her American meal ticket
1 14 yr old son (now 19)
married 20 years/together 25 years
D day - 9/23/2009 5pm

Posts: 800 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Mid Atlantic coast
Eranda
Member
Member # 6010
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I've done it before, but I can tell you that the successes are FAR less common than the unmitigated disasters LOL.

Many- if not most- guys on dating sites are the kind who A) can't be alone for 5 minutes, B) are looking to get laid on the first "date", C) are just out of a marriage/relationship/whatever (like literally, DAYS out) D) have serious issues with neediness OR E) are players and looking to shoot fish in a barrel.

The actual good guys are few and far between. As Walter would say... tread lightly.

Or be like me, and stay the hell away from those places.


My Blog: http://allofthewaystohell.com/

Posts: 4222 | Registered: Dec 2004 | From: eastern PA
little turtle
Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I met my SO on OKC. We're getting married next summer.

I don't have any horror stories to share. Most of the guys I met just weren't a match. I'm still in touch with one of them. I started meeting guys from online back in high school so it wasn't a big deal to me to look there again after I got divorced.

Keep your eyes wide open. Usually after the first week or so, things slow down a bit. It seems that these sites let everyone know when a new person has joined and they all send messages right away.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4131 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
Bebba1171
Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, September 20th (Friday)

Met my SO through Match. I was not a member, but saw her pic with her dogs and I was smitten.

Googled her name and found the same ID on Pinterest and and finally tracked down her address and wrote her a letter with a pic of myself and my dogs.

She liked my dogs, texted me, and we have been dating ever since!

Didn't cost me a penny!


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 726 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
lonelylost
Member
Member # 36784
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I like OKCupid because if you answer their questions it will give you a match percentage, a friend percentage, and an enemy percentage. If the person who contacts you has a very high enemy percentage, you know it's not going to work out, don't waste your time. It also has a section that compares your questions with their's line for line. You can effortlessly weed out creepy people. So don't forget to answer the questions! Also, the site is free...double bonus.


Divorced Jan 2013

"Don't look back, the road is long."
- Needtobreathe


Posts: 208 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: IL
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 10:55 AM, September 20th (Friday)

I met my SO through OKCupid. Our paths wouldn''t have crossed ever without it so from my perspective OLD expanded my dating pool significantly.

But yes it''s true. You have to deal with a certain amount of rejection, and dealing with a lot of "meh, not a match" and maybe a few true crazies/liars.

I do think that different locales favor different sites. I don''t know why that is, but in one city, one site will be more popular/better for you, but then if you move, you might have to change sites. So don''t be afraid to explore more than one site to find your comfort level with how the site itself promotes interaction amongst its members.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3000 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Sad in AZ
Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Don't look at me...


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19794 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Saleschick
Member
Member # 39772
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

Bebba1171: I winked at him now too but again with him being a non paying member not sure if he can view it. I googled his name and found him elsewhere but hate for the guy to think I am a stalker. (LOL)

Posts: 72 | Registered: Jul 2013
Bebba1171
Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

Saleschick.

I am a sales guy!

You only go around once in life, so I suggest you drop him a line. Us guys have egos so likely we will like the effort you have put in to connect with him.

Go for it! What do you have to lose??


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 726 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
Fireball72
Member
Member # 20152
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

I met my husband on OKCupid in 2011 - we got married six months ago on March 20th.

We're actually more happy right now than we were even on our wedding day.

I'm aware that our story isn't the norm, though, so proceed with caution.

I do agree that OKC is better than the others out there. I couldn't STAND POF when I was on that - ugh.


XBS - 42 and fabulous :D
Remarried happily in 2013
A relationship is built for two. But apparently, some bitches don't know how to count!

Posts: 602 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: The Chesapeake Bay
trumanshow
Member
Member # 25624
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Thought this was funny-esp the male and female meaning for "friendship first"


WOMEN
40-ish......................49
Adventurer.............. Has had more partners than you ever will
Athletic................... Flat-chested
Average looking...... Yeah, right
Good looking............Average
Educated.................College dropout
Emotionally Secure...Thanks to Zoloff
Flirt...........................Bring your penicillin
Free spirit................ Substance user
Friendship first......... Trying to live down reputation as slut
Fun......................... Annoying
Gentle..................... Comatose
Good Listener...........Borderline Autistic
New-Age.................. All body hair, all the time
Open-minded............Desperate
Outgoing.................. Loud
Passionate............... Needy
Poetic........................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional.............. Witch
Reubenesque............Morbidly obese
Romantic.................. Looks better by candle light
Wants Soulmate........One step away from stalking
Young at heart.......... Toothless crone

MEN
40-ish....................... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic......................Watches ESPN
Average looking.........Bald but has hairy neck
Educated...................Smarter than you
Free Spirit..................Would sleep with you and your sister
Friendship first............As long as friendship involves nudity
Fun........................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking............. Arrogant
Honest.......................Pathological Liar
Huggable.................. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle...........Insecure, overly dependent
Mature.......................Until you get to know him
Open-minded.............Wants to sleep with your mom too


Your ex wanting to be friends is like asking a kidnapper to stay in touch when they let you go.

The type of fierce loyalty that I possess made me incapable of comprehending the level of disloyalty that he possessed


Posts: 1742 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Charlotte, NC
Embers2Fire
Member
Member # 25557
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

My fiancee and I met on POF we will be celebrating 4 ys together on the 29th of this month and will be getting married on the 1st of November. So yea I think those sites absolutely work. But you do have to give it time. You will meet plenty of people you do not romantically click with but you might make a new friend out of that. My fiancee and I would have never met had it not been for that site. I am so glad I gave it a chance. Just make sure to tread cautiously and guard your heart. Good luck on your journey.


BS - me 49
XWH - him 48
DDay 05/08
Married 25 yrs, 2 sons 28/23
Divorced
2nd Marriage 11/1/13 livng the dream
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking about me, you know in the end the day you left was really my begnning - Kelly Clarkson

Posts: 410 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Memphis, TN
just_breathe
Member
Member # 28373
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

Online Dating? Oh, hell to the yeah! OLD is a great way to expand your dating pool.

Went on OKCupid a year after divorce was final and I'm now married to the wonderful man that I met there. Sure, you have to meet a few loony birds and go through the uncomfortable process of telling them you're not interested in pursuing a relationship, (ex.: comb over guy who started to plan our Christmas vacation on first date), but it's totally worth it in the end. Good luck!


Married 30+
BS 54
Serial cheater-58 NPD, alcoholic/addict

Happily divorced since 2/1/11

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.


Posts: 172 | Registered: Apr 2010
Stillhurting1977
Member
Member # 37247
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)

I am currently dating a guy I met on Match and he is a fantastic man and we are falling for each other big time! Funny thing is, his marriage ended bc his ex was unfaithful too so it helps to have that in common.
There are some weirdos out there for sure, but at least you know some of the people on these sites are looking for a relationship. Truth is, is there are weirdos everywhere.


D day Sept 2011
D Day # 2 March 15, 2013 (he never stopped the first affair, it went underground)
Me BW 36
Him WH 37
One little guy: 26 months
Status: Seperated, Divorcing

" Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Ro


Posts: 159 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Canada
msk99
Member
Member # 29293
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I did Match and found a nice woman I dated for about 6 months. I ended it about a month ago. Overall, I found the OLD experience pretty good, I didn't have any creepellas. Not sure if I'll eventually go back on Match or POF to change it up a bit. I like the concept of OLD, a little on the shy side and it allows me to break the ice with an email as opposed to walking up to a woman I'm attracted to and breaking the ice that way (.....and finding out she's not available, lol).


BS (Me): 40 STBXWW (Her): 40
M: 15 Years, 2 Awesome Boys
Divorced

Five simple rules of happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.


Posts: 712 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Alberta
lynnm1947
Member
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

Thanks to OLD, I now have a wonderful DIL and two of the most beautiful GD ever born!


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7118 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
I.will.survive
Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, October 1st (Tuesday)

I have been dating my SO for 6 months now and he was my ONLY date from ChristianMingle.com.

I weeded out all the winkers, emails from men way over my age range or not even in my area and profiles that just did nothing for me.

He is a technical writer and he hooked me with his perfect grammar, spelling, etc. We had both been separated the same amount of time and both were divorced within 2 months of each other.

We have children the same age.

We never would have met if it wasn't for that site. We live 45 mins apart, opposite sides of the city.

Grow a thick skin, be VERY picky and just be careful and listen to your gut. It could be a great experience!

P.S. I have 2 friends that met and married from Match and eHarmony.


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
Abbondad
Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Ironically I met my STBXWW over ten years ago on Jdate. (Nice job, Jdate!)

But I am still a big proponent of OLD. Before I met my WW, I spent a couple of years doing OLD after I'd gotten out of a five-year relationship. Went on around fifty dates!

Most were duds in one way or another, but I did meet many vey nice, normal people, one of which turned into a true relationship for a year.

Just be careful, wade through the weirdos, and have fun.

Oh, and my best piece of advice: for a first date, make it coffee or a drink. No dinners, no activities. (IMO). Despite you having "bonded" over the phone, email, and pix, the SECOND you meet in person all that goes out the window and it you're starting at square one. Don't build it up too much before you meet.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1571 | Registered: Dec 2012
Confused1829
Member
Member # 32729
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, October 2nd (Wednesday)

Good comments. Very interesting. I've been looking into doing this more - SOOO tired of the bar scene and dating friends of friends isn't an option (I did that before, we broke up and it made our friends feel awkward).

The only thing is you still have to sort through a lot of people to find what you really like. Another job I don't have time for! :)


Me: fBW 31
DDays: May 31 2011 & Aug 6 2011. Divorced November 14, 2011 (No Kids)

Posts: 282 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: New York City
thyme2go
Member
Member # 12908
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, October 3rd (Thursday)

I have never, ever in my life tried OLD so I gave it a shot last weekend. What did I do wrong? Three contacts/connections/dates with 36 hours and had to hide my profile as I was/am over-whelmed.

My take is that OLD is a great way to meet people.

At the very least, I now have several new, very pretty, FB friends!


-t2g


BH - no longer 48
3 DD's - (27, 24 and 17)
Divorced on 8/6/09

Posts: 9175 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: Eastern Washington
Topic Posts: 31