Hey KBeguile. Introspection is good, but I think you're still commingling taking care of yourself and taking care of Heart.
You need to look at these endeavors as separate. Your post talks a lot about your feelings, needs and developments.
I've never felt happier
I get "weirded out" around pictures of lingerie models
All of these changes feel "normal," like they're all part of who I should be
I can't let her affect my mood
now that she's the only person in the world I want to socialize with
I get that you're updating us on how you feel here, but your question about how to help Heart is really pushed to the back of this post.
The first anti is crazy hard for the BS. The mind movies ramp back up, the triggers start dropping out of nowhere.... even if the WS has done their utmost over the year to be honorable and hard working, there's just something about the season that brings our fears back out.
It's good that you're working on you, but in order to be there for her it has to BE about her sometimes. Have your feelings, and find a time to address them outside of the warzone, if you can. It's not about "She reacts this way and it affects me x", it's about "She reacts this way and I understand that she is triggering and I:
a.) Hold her because she needs to be held
b.) Reassure her because she needs to hear how committed I am
c.) Bring her a gift because she is remembering the energy I spent on other women and I need to show her I'm only thinking of her.
If you want to talk about you we can do that, but you're asking about her here. I think. Let's talk about her.