User Topic: I'm not getting my way
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

While mediating the D terms, I didn't agree with several key financial issues.
My STBXH tells me that I am just angry, vindictive, and bitter because "You are just mad that you aren't getting your way!"
Some of those key financial issues: we bought a house 2 years ago. It was the house that he wanted, not me. He dragged me to this crappy desert from my beautiful island. He made me give up my career so I could take better care of him.
He has been having his ongoing affair for 3+ years.
And now that he and Shrek have this beautiful overpriced and rented love nest, he feels that paying his half of the mortgage is unreasonable.
He made all these damands knowing he wasn't happy in the marriage. WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!
My attorney, the law, and the Mormon judge presiding over our covenant marriage don't seem to think I'm being unreasonable at all.
He cannot admit he is wrong, so therefore, I must be mad because I'm not getting my way. All this after I begged him to please reconsider and let's at least do counseling, something to save our marriage. I wasn't mad, or vindictive or bitter. I was hurt, lost, devastated, floundering, and scared. It was because of my love for him AND our marriage. I knew he was selfish, but you love unconditionally and for better or for worse.
I forgave the affair immediately. HE is the one that found his 22 year old mistress who cannot hold a job, she has no education and isn't trying to get one, and looks honest to G like Shrek, more alluring than an accomplished, educated, and succcessful wife. Not to toot my own horn because I'm no Salma Hayek, but I am very pretty and got carded 3 different times last weekend.
So, I guess marriage is about who "gets their way" first.....or is that last!
My attorney and I ignored his ridiculous outburst.
If I let it, he could really hurt me.
D sucks!
Thank you for listening to my rant.
Grrrrrr, I'm doing my very best to pretend all of his antics don't bother me in the least and that I am moving on.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 10:08 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2325 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
New Member
Member # 39298
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, September 19th (Thursday)

Good grief. Sounds like a jr high game. As soon as he stepped out of his marriage, he lost all chances of playing a fair game. I am so sorry.

Me- Betrayed - married 16 years
Him- 2 week affair with someone at work
9 kids
Trying to R

Posts: 35 | Registered: May 2013 | From: confusedsad
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, September 19th (Thursday)



Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 52570 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, September 19th (Thursday)


together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Dec 2012
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, September 20th (Friday)

Thank you.
This really bites. It hurts, it's demoralizing.
He even says it again in an email that the only reason I'm expecting him to pay half the mortgage, half the credit cards (even though he ran them up in the thousands and I have never used them), blah blah blah, isn't because it's his mess. Noooooo, it's because when I told him he couldn't have her and me both, and that if he wanted R then he would have to come home and go to MC and IC and give me transparency. He said he didn't want to do these things, so he was moving out and moving on when he first gets home. Sooooo, me not having a job and going back to school full time has nothing to do with needing him to financially keep up his end. It MUST be because oh, hmmm, let's see, I'm not getting my way because I didn't want to share my husband with Shrek.

I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2325 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Topic Posts: 5