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Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I broke NC
surprise
New Member
Member # 40680
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, September 20th (Friday)

I have been trying so hard to not speak to her unless it was about my kids but she constantly phoned and after ignoring it several times I answered. she just wanted to see how I'm doing again!!!!
I was polite but blunt and ended the conversation but she sent me an email saying we have to be civil.
I shouldn't have replied but said "I'm not hurting I just dont want to speak to you ATM because I'm struggling not to tell you what sort of person you are".
Grr she's happy with her new guy so why cant she just leave me in peace.

Posts: 18 | Registered: Sep 2013
surprise
New Member
Member # 40680
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Never mind she sent another and I replied telling her exactly what I thought and used every four letter word I could think of.
Damn I'm weak

Posts: 18 | Registered: Sep 2013
Phoenix1
Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 4:04 PM, September 20th (Friday)

I know you have read this before, but it ends when you say it ends.

NC = No New Hurts

Repeat until it sticks...

Don't let her keep sucking you into her toxic vortex.

((surprise))


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1120 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Eyeofthetiger
Member
Member # 40359
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Why must they continue to stab the knife? My H just picked up our kids and was clearly flirting and acting like a friend. I looked at him an said "we can't pretend to be friends". He got mad and now I am wondering and hurting as to why he is mad at me.

Just jump back on the NC and you'll feel better by the end of the weekend. GL


S

Posts: 129 | Registered: Aug 2013
kg201
Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, September 20th (Friday)

They are angry with us because we can't/won't play into their fantasy of having both people stroke their egos. How could we possibly be so mean as to say, "I don't want to be your friend." How could we possibly burn our bridges like that?


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 702 | Registered: Aug 2013
surprise
New Member
Member # 40680
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Sigh breath!
im not going to reply to her this time, just leave it until Sunday when I get to speak to my kids again.
Now wheres those rubber bands

Posts: 18 | Registered: Sep 2013
Titanium
Member
Member # 38866
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Me too.......i have parasite WH blocked in my phone. Hadnt checked for 2 weeks and looked the other night.

There was a nice message saying just want to say hello and hope wer well and wants to catch up with our our son this weekend.

Our son who is 18 doesnt want to speak to him due to what he has done to me and also after i kicked him out 3 months ago he looked up OW fed her bs and they now hanging out together AGAIN.

Everything is my fault. He did nothing wrong. I kicked him out for no reason apparently. He was upset and lonely and me kicking him out afyer no remorse and false r was unfair....according to him.

Whats unfair? Running back to her, shrugging all responsibilities. Leaving me to sell the house, empty it out, getting rid of all,of his shit and living on a dime?

He has a fulltime job, low rent,ma bed buddy, fancy ute, harley.......etc etc

I am so hurt and angry and he says he is broke and wants 50%.

Just disgarded me, us. Our son has autism and is so confused. Saw the physical abuse, heard it all.

But WH maintains its all my fault.

So i responded to his text with a phone call. Couldnt help myself.....off loaded, gave him a mouthful....

He calls me a filthy name and hangs up......thats ok, i did feel better but also saw that he is delusional, he will always only see it the fucked way that he see's it. He has made his bed.

He needs to grow up. The house settles this tuesday and he thinks he will be on easy street financially but he is in for a shock.

He is NPD amongst other things so i probably shouldnt have called him but its done now.

I did send one last message to never contact me ever again. I wont check my blocker anymore and when settlement is done and i dont need his texts for anything i will change my number. Because my son is 18 i dont have the custody issue which must be so very difficult for you with all this crap.

So on that note dont beat yourself up about broken nc......its hard to control sometimes but lets get back on the nc train and relax a little and read a good book.

Misery loves company and we have better things to do.......!

Keep moving forward little by little.

((((Hugs)))))



BS me 48
Him 45 NPD/SA fucktard
1 beautiful DS
M 20 yr T 24
DD#1 Jan 12
DD#2 Aug 12 LTA/PA with pond scum
Divorced....... :))
Shoot me down but I wont fall.
I am Titanium

Posts: 93 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Housefulloflove
Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, September 20th (Friday)

They are angry with us because we can't/won't play into their fantasy of having both people stroke their egos. How could we possibly be so mean as to say, "I don't want to be your friend." How could we possibly burn our bridges like that?

This right here. The night before our divorce hearing included him texting me about how our divorce had nothing to do with his cheating (because he knows better than me of course), listed the ways I wronged him, accused me of having a lack of integrity for being suspicious of his relationship with OW before he had sex with her...and blah blah blah more of the same illogical bullshit.

Then immediately after the lack of integrity statement he says "we need to be cordial and friendly." Literally it was the next sentence.

But in my ex's mind, I am just being bitter and hurting myself by turning down his offer for friendship.


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Gajit
Member
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, September 20th (Friday)

FTG! He is blameshifting. It will get better. I am learning this!

Keep your head high and keep moving forward! Hugs to you!


Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 9