SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: Latest Holiday Delusions from Crazy stbx part II
sleepless34
Member
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Okay, so Mr.Integrity who can not seem to understand consequences or take any responsibility really out did himself today.

At the Divorce Therapist we discussed holidays. We had been invited many moons ago to his brothers across the country for big family celebration. Since the separation, they have invited me and the kids as they feel so bad for us and know it would be a hard day for us here alone as we have no family here.

They want to show their support, and they want the kids to still know that they are still their family even if Daddy divorces mommy.

It will be joyful, lots of people, lots of activities, and it may be a little weird that he is not there, but not as weird as having Thanksgiving alone at home the three of us or a morning thanksgiving with me and evening thanksgiving with him?? Our therapist thought it was a GREAT idea. He was kind of upset, but kind of agreed.

So, next day he calls his SIL crying and bitching her out for inviting me. He said she must have devised this scheme with me to keep him away from the kids. That I must be telling her everything and I turned her against him. He said "Who am I supposed to spend Thanksgiving with?"

She threw it right back at him and said,"what did you think was going to happen when you leave your wife and family? You asked us to get involed and support your wife and kids when you told us about this, and we think it would be good for them to be here vs alone and what do you expect them to do? Isn't that better for the kids? He just argued and argued about it and she said, "Fine, if you want to come and make your wife even more miserable and make all of the rest of us in your family miserable because of choices you made, then fine, you come too" and he said "well it will be weird if I am NOT there." OMG. CRAZY??????

And he couldn't wouldn't won't hear her. Like he can't hear me or the therapist or anyone else.

He is so insane. I am sure he is going to just try and ruin it so we can't go, cuz I need his "permission" to take them out of state. He will put his own selfish need in front of what is best for the kids. Again. But he thinks in his pea brain he is doing what is best for them.

He might wind up in the looney bin before Xmas at this rate. I just don't get how he can not see that this is what happens when you F**K around and have a filty double life and then leave your wife for another woman. It ain't just about you, it is about the kids and the grandparents and the aunts and the uncles. It effects not just the everyday but the holidays, the birthdays, the vacations, EVERY F**KING THING CHANGES DUMB ASS.

I think I know the answer to this one already but......Any one have this same type of crazy?



Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
Take2
Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, September 20th (Friday)

I didn't have that kind of crazy but I am familiar with the symptoms:

Words - "be nice to BW and kids"
Actions - IT'S ABOUT ME!!!!!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4127 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Gemini71
Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, September 20th (Friday)

That's a perfect example of NPD. I wish your SIL hadn't caved to your STBX's demand. The best revenge would be to go and have a great time with the ILs, if it's at all possible to ignore the SOB.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1855 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
LifeIsBroken
Member
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

I'm thinking his brother, not his SIL, should tell him to just stay home. If he does show, do your thing but be gracious, let the idiot see what he's missing. SHOW YOUR CHILDREN this is how adults act / let you be their example, not their father. Stupid man. Like most cheaters, he has no shame.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 504 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 4