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User Topic: What questions did you ask?
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, September 20th (Friday)

I still have questions I don't know actually what are the right questions To ask

My friend says she ran into him and gutter fish troll at a gas station she and I've racked my brain what should I ask first thing I told him he needs to write a no contact letter and send it to it if WS is truly wanting to be with me he needs to do everything i ask and willing to do it by any means right I will be getting tested again... I told he needs to make his choice because he won't be getting his cake and eatting it too he says he chooses me but again it's to early to see should I ask for him to change his number as soon as he gets his guy friends contacts on his phone


Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Gemini71
Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Make yourself a list of what you need to have happen in order to attempt R. That way when you ask the million dollar question, WS knows what he's getting into. Also be prepared for the answer to not be what you expect, or for WS to say "I'd like to R, but I can't do A B and C." A NC letter to AP and changing phone #s seems to be a common requirement, and its really not that much to ask of WS.

Keep in mind that you are entitled to change the list anytime you see fit. I made a R requirements list for my STBXH. However, I later learned about another PA, this one with my BFF. It was a deal breaker.

R is a gift you can choose to give...or not.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1866 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
HardenMyHeart
Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 10:09 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Here is a link to a good article by Shirley Glass titled, 10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse:
http://www.ivillage.com/10-questions-ask-your-unfaithful-spouse/6-a-126599


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5695 | Registered: Aug 2007
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Take your time and really think through what you want to know. I sat on my knowledge for a few days to be calm but once I cut loose, I still can't remember what I said. I really wish I would have written down my questions. He would have still lied but at least I could remember ed the conversation better. Just remember it was quite loud.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5143 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, September 20th (Friday)

Thank you all I really wished he'd just tell me the truth he said he doesn't mind doing the nc but I don't know how he'll react when I ask to change the number he doesn't know how to set a cell phone up so I set it up I'm not worried about him having another phone I put babe as first name and for last name I put Wife in all caps and for company I put queen of (last name) household lol

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
dov46
Member
Member # 29283
Default  Posted: 1:40 AM, September 21st (Saturday)

SoOver: Am I reading this right...he is still w/OW? If so...it really doesn't matter what you want to ask...if he's still in contact/physically with her...there's no point in asking questions:(


ME:BS (46)
HIM:WH (37)
Husband caught in EA/PA 1/09. Filed for Divorce 2/09.
Reconciled 3/09....remains rocky!
Dday #2?-1/23/12
Divorced 6/26/12
It's the friends you can call up at 4:00 a.m. that matter....Marlene Dietrich

Posts: 159 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From:
SoOver96
Member
Member # 40169
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

No I got an email from a friend stating about him being seen with her in two towns over which takes 35 mins to get too he stats he was in our nieghborhood with friends which majority of them are quite older except two he blew out his knee he couldn't of gone far either way

Posts: 171 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 7