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User Topic: He broke up with me
Helen of Troy
Member
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, September 20th (Friday)

I didn't cry, didn't plead.
I am shocked and mostly embarrassed. The thing rattling me the most is ex's words "no one will like you when they find out how you REALLY are".
Now I feel this is true.

He says he doesn't hate me, and it was nothing I did specifically. I feel confident there is no one else.
SI I feel so humiliated anyway. I stay with relationships no matter what, even when it is not easy.
I want to run away and hide.
We were exclusive one year.


Posts: 4677 | Registered: Dec 2009
persevere
Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, September 20th (Friday)

First (((will get by)))
I'm so sorry, break ups, are by definition just not easy.

As for the ridiculous words from your ex - FTG - he is full of narcissistic shit.

The breakup between your Ex and this breakup have nothing to do with each other. You were together a year, and it didn't work out. It will hurt like hell for a while, but in the end, you will learn from it.

PLEASE do not equate the break up with a narcissistic ass who tried to make you doubt yourself with this one. They are TWO different events.

So you surround yourself with some activities and friends as you are ready to and you will move on to better things. XXOO.


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4375 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
cayc
Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, September 20th (Friday)

You have been struggling with negative self talk for some time now. IMHO this relationship of yours was exacerbating it. A relationship should make you feel hopeful & supportive. But that''s not what you''ve been posting about here.

I know when some one leaves your life, it leaves a hole & that hole feels bad (even if you needed to get that person out of your life.

I know you''re hurting but your xWH was wrong. What he said was a cheap shot designed to blame you & absolve him. And your xSO? Same thing in that you weren''t feeling good around him but didn''t want to admit it to yourself.

It''s going to be ok, and youre going to feel better now that you have a fresh start. I promise.

(((Willgetby)))


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3003 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, September 20th (Friday)

(((will get by)))

Your ex's words are garbage. A total lie.

I'm so sorry. I hope one day when you are ready, you meet someone who appreciates, loves, and respects you.


Posts: 33912 | Registered: Mar 2011
Pass
Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, September 20th (Friday)

You may want to read Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies. It addresses a lot of negative self-talk, and may help you.

The thing rattling me the most is ex's words "no one will like you when they find out how you REALLY are".

The thing to remember about your ex: He's an asshole. He REALLY was a lying, cheating, piece of shit, and he didn't know what he REALLY had: The best thing that ever happened to him!

Did I mention he's an asshole?


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1694 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
caregiver9000
Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, September 20th (Friday)

oh, sweetie....

(((wgb)))

I am so sorry! You are awesome. How you REALLY are is purely beautiful. A break up is about two people, not one.

Indulge in grieving, and then set it aside. You have a lot going on right now!

I am here if you need to talk.

(((big hugs)))


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5608 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ChoosingHope
Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, September 20th (Friday)

(((willgetby)))

Posts: 1590 | Registered: Oct 2011
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, September 20th (Friday)

((Wgb))

I'm sorry


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7430 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
stronger08
Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 5:08 AM, September 21st (Saturday)

Post D relationships are just like the ones you had before you were M. You need to weed out what does not work for you. If he is not committed at least he did the honorable thing and broke up with you. Take a little time, mourn the loss and get back on the horse. Things will get better. Shoot, I'm many years out from D and I still have not met "the one" But I know that one day she will walk into my life when I least expect it. BTW your XH is a cheating asshole. Don't listen to what he has to say.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5567 | Registered: Nov 2007
damncutekitty
Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

My XH told me I was impossible to love. I am finding out now how wrong he was, but it stuck with me for a long time.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49447 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Williesmom
Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

My wxh told me that I will never find someone that loved me like he did. I certainly hope that's true.

FTG.

Never forget the awesomeness that is you.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7430 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Topic Posts: 11