SurvivingInfidelity.com Forums
Divorce/Separation
User Topic: I dreamt of her
surprise
New Member
Member # 40680
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

It was the first dream I can remember in at least a month. It started out that we were together, happy like nothing was wrong.
Then all the details came back and she left me again
I woke up feeling like day one again.

Sorry I keep posting BTW.

[This message edited by surprise at 6:43 PM, September 21st (Saturday)]


Posts: 18 | Registered: Sep 2013
h0peless
Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

Those dreams fade. The constant pain fades. Hang in there.

Posts: 1756 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
jo2love
Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

(((surprise)))

Posts: 36052 | Registered: Mar 2011
SBB
Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

Keep posting, keep reading.

I promise you it won't always hurt this bad.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5619 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
sunsetslost
Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

I dreamept of her two nights ago. I dreamept that I found her in the bath tub. Under water. I'm my dream I pulled her up, revived her. In my dream she asked me "what took you so long?" F worded me up a while. My STBX conducted an exit affair. I'm over it, over her. There are feelings that linger. The feelings will always be there. Live your life with strength and honor.
Live for YOU


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
Thefly559
Member
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

I still dream of her at least 4 nights a week. My stbxww also had an exit affair , no remorse . I wake up crying like a baby at 3 or 4 am. My day is shot after that. Sucks! PTSD stuff. The dreams are so vivid. Are they dreams or nightmares. Everyone says it gets better and it does and is , but I just wish it would hurry up ! You are not alone brother. Hang in there I feel your pain.we will both get through this. And all others who have been betrayed. All the best.


"what does not kill you , makes you stronger"

Posts: 690 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
LAFA
Member
Member # 31868
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

I know that it seems to take forever, but have faith, it does eventually pass. All the best to you, brother.


When you put someone on a pedestal, they quickly learn two things. The view is mighty good from up there, and it is a fine vantage from which to kick.

Posts: 184 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Hawaii
Iamhappytoday
Member
Member # 39051
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, September 21st (Saturday)

Aren't those dreams the worst? We can have a kick-ass day then have one of those dreams of the ex and what a huge mind trip that is.

But it will pass. I'm still in that part, too, so I know how it is, but it will pass.

(((Surprise)))

Give yourself room to accept this as part of grieving, pat yourself on the back, and continue to look forward.

You are not alone in this experience.


BW 39
WH 34
2DD's 15 months at start
Together 10 years, M 9
OW 22 CW, 2kids by 2 men & youngest less than 1 when affair started.
Dday 1 8/16/12 "just texting"
TT, gaslighting, denial; was always PA; he left me for her.

Posts: 135 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Free!!!
kg201
Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)

I read your post last night and then promptly had my own dream about my WW. In mine she was telling me she had broken it off with the AP and wanted to work on us. There was a joy in the dream that I felt...and then (and I am proud that my subconscious was thinking this way) I told her that she had some work to do to show me she was in fact remorseful before I would consider reconciling.

I woke up confused and sad, but I hope that if that scenario ever plays out in real life that I will respond the same way.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 738 | Registered: Aug 2013
Naivete123
Member
Member # 38715
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

I had one last night. That we were divorced, and I was about to remarry someone I did not love. Someone asked me why I was marrying them. I said because "they" made us get a divorce and I can't be with the one I want.
Later I have a convo with WH before he leaves for work and that is when he tells me he feels there is only a sliver of hope that we will be together, that it is too late for me to change.


I WILL NOT drink the Kool Aid.

The grass is greener on the other side. But they put chemicals on theirs.


Posts: 60 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: USA
Abbondad
Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, September 23rd (Monday)

Totally, natural, Surprise. I have this sort of dream every once in a while and have awakened with tears running down my cheeks.

Any time we suffer a loss, the loss will haunt us--if not in our waking moments, then in our dreams. But they will pass in time.

When I lost my parents, dreams that they were alive plagued me for a long time. But with time, the intervals between these dreams slowly became longer. I still have them, but rarely.

I expect that with time our dreams of this other trauma will follow the same "dwindling trajectory."

But it hurts, I know.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1649 | Registered: Dec 2012
LeopoldB
Member
Member # 40606
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, September 23rd (Monday)

Here is an odd twist. For a few years after we divorced, my XWW was by far the most frequent and recognizable figure in my dreams. The dreams were varied... most bad, but some were nice or funny or erotic. Then they started becoming less frequent. Noticeably so. And I was sad because it felt like I was losing something all over again, even if it was not always nice. So enjoy your dreams while you have them... and remember the good ones.


Posts: 212 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 12